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AIBU?

to think pregnancy doesn't automatically make you fat?

120 replies

CailinDana · 31/01/2013 20:36

It doesn't make me fat. The baby comes out and I'm the same as I ever was, except with more stretch marks and looser tummy muscles.

I can't be the only one, yet it seems to be an accepted thing that you're going to have "baby weight" to lose after pregnancy.

AIBU to think that plenty of women just eat a normal amount while pregnant and don't have any weight to lose once the baby is born?

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Pixieonthemoor · 31/01/2013 21:18

YANBU it really irks me when people criticise mums who are skinny post partum, making it seem like they are vain and putting their bodies before caring for their babies! Weight just fell off me during both pregnancy (I am guessing genetics as the same thing happened to my mum, no alcohol and a much healthier diet) and breast feeding. Honestly I was skinnier just after having a baby than I had been in years!

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TheSecondComing · 31/01/2013 21:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Overreactionoftheweek · 31/01/2013 21:19

Piss off all you Smuggy McSmuggersons with your skinny asses and no stretch mark's Angry Envy

I still have 3 stone to lose and ds is 15months - my body is also ruined by stretch mark's, they're a genetic thing by the way, my mum and sister are equally unlucky.

The weight is down to my gluttony and laziness but obviously pregnancy didn't help

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CailinDana · 31/01/2013 21:23

Wow Zara, I wasn't judging you at all. Sorry you felt that way.

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HortensiaPollard · 31/01/2013 21:26

I was thinner after all 3 pregnancies than I was before getting pregnant. Basically because I got diabetes and my body started to eat itself. Not nice.

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havingastress · 31/01/2013 21:31

I"ve still got a stone to lose 12 weeks after giving birth...this I was ready for...

an expanded rib cage I was not!!!

Seriously, I have no fat around my ribs/breast area, yet I no longer fit in my lovely size 10 dresses. I am bigger around that area than I was pre-pregnancy.

Now I'm pretty sure you can't eat your way to a bigger rib cage Grin

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pixwix · 31/01/2013 21:50

I'm 5ft 3.5, and when I became pregnant with ds1 at 28 (am now 43) I was 7 stone 10. I had hyperemesis first trimester, so lost weight, but then made up for it! I didn't overeat - just ate when wanted to, and what I fancied, but not for the sake of it - my body hung onto every single calorie it could, given the hyperemesis, - I also swam 3 times a week, (after hyperemesis) and did all my usual stuff. I ended up at 11 stone pre-birth - it was a bit unnerving first time round - I did wonder if I would ever feel normal again...

I had ds1 who was 6lb 11oz, I pissed like a horse for a few days, and came out of hospital at 9 stone 7lb. I was breastfeeding for about 3 months, so my weight dropped gradually, then when I stopped BF due to mastitis, my body didn't need the extra fat supplies, and I was back down to 7 stone 10 by about 9 months. I was doing some swimming though - just to make me feel more 'me'. I did get a couple of wee stretch marks, with ds1, which ironically, if he'd been born on his due date I wouldn't have had... But tbh - I don't give a shit!

With Ds2 - (aged 34) again I was 7 stone 10 - hyperemesis again - but not as bad - ended up 11 stone (again) - gave birth, couldn't breastfeed due to septicaemia and mild renal failure, and ended up at 7 stone 10 about 9 months after birth. he was 7lb 8oz, and that time round, I had severe PND and ended up in a mother and baby unit...

Am now 43 and around 7 stone 12, (I only know this cos I had to weigh myself for donating blood today) so my weight hasn't changed too much - my body has of course, wider waist, boobs heading slightly south, and a few stretch marks that weren't there before.

We all have different metabolisms - I put loads on in pregnancy, cos I was very slightly underweight - then lost it again over several months . Some people are different - some gain loads, others less so, some lose it quicker than others. Everybody is different. We all have different attitudes to food and eating, and that's why it's so complex.

I do remember when I was pregnant reading in an obs and gynae text book once though (probably an elderly text book) written by a male obstetrician that you shouldn't gain more than 9kg, which admittedly didn't sound a lot, but when I worked it out, it is ..erm 19.8 pounds which is erm.. 1 stone 6lb.

  • I remember turning to ex-dh (who is a doctor) and saying "WTF! I'm already a stone over that!" and ex-dh saying "Well - Fuck it - you look fine to me!"
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PacificDogwood · 31/01/2013 21:53

I think I get what you are addressing, Cailin: it is not inevitable for everyone to gain excessive amounts of weight in pregnancy. Fairenuff.

I know one woman who decided not to have children because of a fear what pregnancy etc would do to her (admittedly rather gorgeous) figure. She was not a happy person with lots of other problems incl. an eating disorder.

So, I would not disagree that solely concentrating on the wide variety of possible physical changes that may come in pregnancy is on balance a Bad Thing.

Is that it?

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CailinDana · 31/01/2013 22:00

Pretty much Pacific. It seems almost to be a self-fulfilling prophecy in a way. People seem quite surprised at how slim I am (in spite of large bump) as though it's really odd I haven't put on weight. Of course there are various reasons why pregnant women put on weight but the idea that it's always going to happen doesn't make sense to me.

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MissBeehivingUnderTheMistletoe · 31/01/2013 22:05

Cailin - please can you stop stealth boasting about how slim you are, it's putting me off my coconut Kitcat Wink

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CailinDana · 31/01/2013 22:07

Ooh is it nice? I'm a bit iffy about coconut.

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MissBeehivingUnderTheMistletoe · 31/01/2013 22:10

Tis yum Grin

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fishandlilacs · 31/01/2013 22:10

I was fat anyway but if it helps DS was 13lb at birth, his placenta weighted 6.2 lb on it's own. thats 21.2 lb not including water of which there was a lot.

I was 5lb lighter than when I conceived once he was out! BUT I'm still fat.

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fishandlilacs · 31/01/2013 22:12

lol I clearly cant do maths after a glass of wine! 19.2lb

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noblegiraffe · 31/01/2013 22:15

During the first trimester I was starving all the time. Nothing to do with morning sickness, just sheer hunger. I remember my colleagues being amused as I ate my way through my large packed lunch by 9:30am and having to go to the shops for more food.

In the last trimester I barely ate anything due to there being no room in my stomach and not being hungry at all.

So my eating in pregnancy wasn't influenced at all by any messages about eating for two etc, or being greedy and having licence to eat cake, simply by how I felt and what my body was telling me it needed to keep going.

Feeling more hungry during pregnancy seems fairly typical among my friends, so it is no wonder that weight is put on. You would appear to be the exception rather than the rule, in my experience, in eating normal amounts throughout.

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PiratePetesPotty · 31/01/2013 22:17

I think pregnancy affects people differently. At my booking appointment for my first pregnancy I weight 46kg, I had hyperemisis until 20 weeks, no appetite and after I stopped puking kept up my normal amount of exercise. Full term I weighed 62kg and 56kg after giving birth (I still wasn't overweight though).
At my booking appointment for my second pregnancy I weighed 56kg (never lost the weight), during that one my appetite was massive, I'd feel tearful if I got too hungry, had spd so could barely walk. I was weighed in labour on arrival at the hospital. 62kg full term so only a 6kg gain. I'm breastfeeding and 10 months post DS2 am 49kg.
My point is that I weighed the exact same at the end of two very different pregnancies in terms of mobility and eating, I believe that my body just became very efficient during my first pregnancy and didn't need to be as efficient during my second. I don't think there's much I could have done to prevent the weight gain in my first pregnancy.

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NumericalMum · 31/01/2013 22:19

I was 5kg lighter at 12 weeks and 10kg heavier than I started at 42 weeks when DC made her appearance. I was wearing a size bigger normal clothes from the next day and after bf for 9 months I was again 5kg lighter than when I started. Sadly I was 10kg heavier after about 3 months back at work with no exercise, being able to drink wine and eat cake again. Took bl00dy ages to lose that... and i have put some of it back again and can't blame anybody other than me...

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FlorriesDragons · 31/01/2013 22:28

When I was pregnant other women used to kind of arch their eyebrows at me and said things like "Oh, you won't be wearing those dresses anymore once the baby is here". Grin

I've had two dc which seems to surprise people. I am a toned size 8 with a decent chest but I do have stretch marks on my stomach so I'm not not boasting Grin.

Some of my friends have quite obviously had children and have the scars and telltale weight gain to prove it, others still have their figures despite multiple children. Every body handles it differently, it's definitely not a given that you will get fat just because you have a baby.

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catladycourtney1 · 31/01/2013 22:30

Thinking about it, I don't think I know anyone who got hugely fat during pregnancy. Or even noticeably fatter, other than the tits and bump. After the birth, however... I've known people pretty much double in size between their first pictures with their babies and the next time I saw them.

I am a beached whale quite overweight, but at almost 36 weeks pregnant I've only put on about 12 lbs. I'm also having a big baby and quite a bit of swelling. My tits have actually shrunk, but my arse has got bigger so I've no idea how much fatter I am now than before. Also as havingastress said, my rib cage has expanded! I have very little fat in that area, you can see my ribs if I lift my arms up, yet I've had to go up a back size in bras and I can see that it's bigger.

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catladycourtney1 · 31/01/2013 22:33

However I have developed the worst stretchmarks I've ever seen. I think its more to do with genetics than how much weight you gain. People have had twins and triplets and not had a mark on them to show for it.

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MrsCF · 31/01/2013 22:34

I weighed less after having my children than pre pregnancy. Pregnancy just didnt agree with me, generally I love my food but when pregnant I could not eat. Unfortunately I am back to pre pregnancy weight 3 years later.

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oohlaalaa · 31/01/2013 22:35

My SIL lost weight with pregnancy.

She had really bad sickness, and lost over a stone at the start, and any weight gain she had, was just the tummy. Her legs and arms, became really skinny. She was working till 38 weeks, so don't think had time to eat lots. Then afterwards she was breastfeeding, and more weight came off.

She went from a size 16 to a size 14.

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WaynettaSlobsLover · 31/01/2013 22:36

I'm always hungry during pregnancy, but usually for healthy stuff. This times it's raw fruit and veg. I'm size 10-12 but def have baby weight after two babies and now my thirds on the way I'm expecting to have to work harder to get rid of it. Lost it quite easily both times but always retained a fat stomach, not even loose, just fat, despite walking loads most days with heavy double buggy. It shows horribly on me as I'm five foot one and an hourglass figure so I basically can't wear nice fitted tops due to the roll of fat round my waist. Sad pregnancy doesn't make you fat exactly but different bodies with different pregnancies do different things.

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Abigail9580 · 31/01/2013 22:41

Stretch marks are def genetic related, I've got a friend that was a little over weight before her pregnancy, then because she gave up alcohol, ended up being the same weight at the end of preg as the beginning. She had a lovely tiny, neat bump. But my goodness she got stretch marks. And she tried every cream/ oil under the sun.

On the OP, I think some people just like an excuse to eat more when they are pregnant. That whole " eating for 2" thing, and don't realise 2 bags of crisps instead of one isn't going to be burnt off by growing a baby!!

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Shellywelly1973 · 31/01/2013 22:44

Im expecting dc 6. I'm a size 8. I've had babies in my teens, twenties,thirties!

I've always returned to my normal size&weight within a couple of weeks of giving birth. With dc2 put on nearly 3 stone!

I've got tons of stretch marks but no one apart from dp sees them so i don't worry about them!

I always secretly worry i won't go back to my normal size but so far so good...mind you, Im so hungry with this pregnancy, i might take a few extra weeks before i get back to my normal size.

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