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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To quibble over £10?

17 replies

laluna · 31/01/2013 16:13

Feel a bit silly asking....

In the autumn I went for lunch with two school mums A & B. B had moved recently to the area and she has a son in the same class as A & me. Tiny bit of background which is relevant - I have known A for about 4 years through playschool etc but gradually started to feel a little uncomfortable about a few things: found her to be a little unreliable, bit of a drain etc. So made a decision to cool things a bit, keeping the 'better the devil you know' mantra in my head. She is ok in smallish doses.

When we went for the meal I miscalculated the bill and friend B and I ended up paying for us all. A owed us £10 each and said she would give it to us etc.......

Haven't had it yet! Am I petty asking, as she would say 'its only a tenner' etc but because of the fact that I don't regard her as a close friend I know that I am never likely to see it if I don't ask.

Oh and what do I say?

OP posts:

manicbmc · 31/01/2013 16:17

Does she know that it was miscalculated and she owes you a tenner? If so just ask her for it.

valiumredhead · 31/01/2013 16:19

Personally I would leave it unless you really need the money but I wouldn't go out for lunch with her again.

wonderingsoul · 31/01/2013 16:19

a tenner is a lot to me.. so id day hey have you got that tenner.. simple as.

it may only be a tenner to some but it all adds up.

fromparistoberlin · 31/01/2013 16:19

ask "can I have that tenner you owe me"

if she makes you feel weird she is a bitch and are well rid

if she looks embarassed she is maybe worth keeping!!

AgentProvocateur · 31/01/2013 16:23

It was the autumn. She's probably forgotten about it or else she'll think she's paid you already. I think you should let it go.

hellsbellsmelons · 31/01/2013 16:26

Yes you should ask for it.
'Ohh.. by the way, do have that £10, I have no cash on me and need to get some bread on the way home so it would be great if you have it on you!'
Done!
Has she paid the new comer and not you or is it both of you?
It's £20 she's getting away with - that would get me quite a bit of shopping thanks very much.

IslaValargeone · 31/01/2013 16:27

Given the amount of time that has elapsed and the amount involved, I think you have to let it go to be honest.

Lavenderhoney · 31/01/2013 16:28

Do you see her every week at playgroup? You can either ask as suggested or let it go and don't go out with her again or stand her coffee or whatever. I wouldn't have let it go this long tbh. If you have her mobile then text her to bring it to the next meet. Then when you see her ask for it.

justmyview · 31/01/2013 16:28

I think you should have asked for it sooner. IMO asking several months later seems a bit petty

sukysue · 31/01/2013 16:29

I had a friend who borrowed 5 quid off me about 20 years ago.I asked her once for it, was made to feel awful (she totally ignored what I said) she then had the cheek to ask me to pay for her car ins as she didn't have any cheques left in her cheque book (I didn't). Well thank god I lent her the 5 quid beforehand otherwise I might have paid the car ins for her fully expecting to be paid the money back. Well the £5 was worth it for the lesson it gave me. I have not bothered with her ever since, she did me a huge favour. I see her now and again once when we had a new car with a new reg and her face was a picture!

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 31/01/2013 16:31

You can't ask for it now. Just put it down to experience and don't go out to lunch with her again....and if you do, then forget your purse and have a miscalculation of your own.

Original poster

laluna · 31/01/2013 16:37

Yes I prob have left it too long. We had rescheduled to go out again in December when she would make up her contribution but she cancelled. The circumstances were a bit odd, but I did say she was unreliable! She has paid neither of us.

OP posts:

starfishmummy · 31/01/2013 16:41

The autumn?? I think the time has passed too. Chalk it up to experience and don't get in the same position again.

whateveritakes · 31/01/2013 16:46

She's obviously forgotten but asking for it back after 3 months makes you look an idiot.

My ex did that. Taking DS for a swim he asked out the blue for £10 and "he'd give me the change". For what I asked. For DS's £9 haircut (2 months ago).
I couldn't remember if I'd paid him back or not but I do remember getting the money out. His memory is shit.

He should know I wouldn't have a spare tenner just hanging about.

2.Why ask 2 month's later with no warning.

Twat.

Write it off or mention it in an off had way

chanie44 · 31/01/2013 17:11

If you need the money, then ask for it, I would. It's either that, or let it annoy you!!!!!

I rarely borrow money, but if I owe somebody money, I do tell them to remind me in case I forget -I've never forgotten, but I'd hate for somebody to think I'd deliberately not paid a debt.

greenpostit · 31/01/2013 17:16

It's been too long and I am not 100% whether this person actually knows they owe you £10. Either way I wouldn't ask for it now. You are already distancing yourself, just continue like tat and try to forget about the £10.

bedmonster · 01/02/2013 20:07

I think you've left it way too late now.

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