To not pay DP's debts off for him?

[alisunshine29]

My DP has around £25,000 of debt from his marriage, £10,000 of which is still accruing interest. At present we do not live together, though we have been together for 3 years. I love him and trust him and have around £10,000 in savings - he works away and lives in work accomodation (free) so that he can pay off his debts. If I paid the ones accruing interest for him then we could move in together and would be very happy. However, my friend thinks I would be an idiot to do so - that he and his wife accrued the debts, he is an adult and needs to pay them off himself. He has never once suggested that I pay them for him. I just feel a bit of a meanie that I could pay them for him, but am not even though it is keeping us from living together which I very much want to do. AIBU?

No! Unless you had a legal document drawn up saying he would pay you back so much per month or something.

A friend of mine did this with a new partner. New partner turned out to be a secret alcoholic who smashed up their home. She left him and was stuck with his debt as she had got a loan in her name to pay it off.

Don't use your savings. You are so lucky (or sensible) to have them.

He could transfer it to a 0% credit card. That's where my debt is at the moment. If he's only making low payments he will never get anywhere.

Afraid to say I agree with Expat- what kind of commitment has he given you about paying off his debts so that you can move in together?

You'd be better off keeping the savings so that you can put them towards a deposit if you do ever move in together (but if you move in before marrying get some kind of legal contract drawn up so you get back what you put in!)

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dont do it, please

I wouldn't. Right now you don't live together and you don't know what calls you might have on your savings either. But what I would do is help him find ways to reduce his debt repayments.