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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

She Who Should Not Be Named.......AIBU to accept this book?!

44 replies

M0naLisa · 31/01/2013 11:47

So im not quite sure on the etiquette of this parenting 'expert' on this forum. But on past forums i have been on, the name 'Gina Ford' has been forbidden to be mentioned.

I was walking to school this morning and got talking to a mum whos little girl is in my DS2 reception class. She was talking about her 10mth olds sleeping habits and explained that she tried the 'Contented baby' on him from the Gina Ford book. She did it with her daughter and from 8 weeks she was sleeping through. But its not working on her son. She offered me the book as she was getting rid of it (i have a 9 week old) i have accepted as tbh i dont boycott parenting experts as i dont feel the need to.
Sometimes they say the wrong things but then other times they have good routines and some things do work.

So was i being unreasonable in accepting this Gina Ford book as i dont know why people hate her so much??

OP posts:

Cortana · 31/01/2013 12:38

Worked for me, a friend also got a lot of out it. Every baby is different and different methods work on different babies.

I'd give it a read and see if there's anything you'd like to try, if not, no harm done.

valiumredhead · 31/01/2013 12:44

I ended up hospitsalised (briefly) for pnd after trying to follow the routine.That was 13 years ago. We ritually burned it when I got home

I was hospitalised too for PND and spent some time in a Mother and Baby Unit - the number of woman who were admitted clutching her book and wailing because their baby wouldn't follow the routine was appalling. The doctors used to gently prise the book from their hands and explain that babies had their own routines and not to get upset about it. It was really awful :(

TurkeyDino · 31/01/2013 12:47

Worked great for DS1, not so much for DS2. They both sleep ok. DS1 was a bloody nightmare before I GF'd, DS2 was a more chilled baby.

CrazyOldCatLady · 31/01/2013 12:48

Different books work for different babies. I bawled my eyes out for two days after reading Gina Ford, it turned out that DD was a Baby Whisperer baby and DS was a 'I'm writing my own book because I'm demented with reflux pain' baby.

Try it for a couple of days if you think it might work, but don't be upset if it doesn't.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 31/01/2013 12:52

Hang on, so Mumsnet is not the only forum that Gina Ford has threatened legal action against? OP, you said you knew of others.

She does this regularly? How...entirely non surprising.

NumericalMum · 31/01/2013 12:54

A friend used it successfully with her second. I think though as a second time parent she skipped the bits that first time mums think are gospel (ie nap in a dark room with no distractions and feed every x hours no more no less) but I read it before DD was born and always felt a failure that my DD didn't conform. She had reflux so was another matter really but I think if there is any risk of taking it 100% to heart it is best not read.

MsVestibule · 31/01/2013 12:56

I'm absolutely baffled that so many woman attribute their PND to a baby raising book! I think there had to be something wrong with their mental state in the first place that they attached so much importance to it. Perhaps they were already at the desperate stage and thought that this would be the magic solution? Then when it turned out it wasn't, the book was blamed.

valiumredhead · 31/01/2013 13:00

They don't attribute it, it doesn't help at all especially as it is so full of rigid nonsense

Fab if you are well enough to cherry pick ideas but dire if you can't and you think your baby should be doing exactly what a woman with no kids dictates.

CaseyShraeger · 31/01/2013 13:05

I don't think that anyone's mentioned it yet, so I shall give you A Brief History Of Gina Ford And Mumsnet And Why She Is Known As SWMNBN...

Long ago in the mists of time (i.e. before I joined MN) Gina Ford was actually a member here, with a username of GinaBabe or something like that. But there were quite a few posters who had negative opinions about her methods (also plenty who were pro-Gina, mind you) and she did a bit of a flounce, I think.

Then she got increasingly fed up with the criticism and it all came to a head in 2006 when someone posted a thread (rather lie this one, actually) asking "why is Gina Ford so controversial?" Looking for a lighthearted way to summarise the pages of posts accusing GF's methods of all sorts of things, morningpaper posted - well, I'll let you read it in her own words.

The legal case went on for around a year and while it was on we were asked not to mention GF or her methods at all in any way (positive, negative or neutral) - this is when the SWMNBN moniker sprang up. Once the case was settled we were again allowed to discuss her methods but the name had stuck (and, by the way, MNHQ asks us if we could please refrain from posting anything about her personally because they'd rather not get sued for libel again, thank you very much).

So she isn't SWMNBN because of what she recommends (or only indirectly) but rather because of her particular history with MN.

THERhubarb · 31/01/2013 13:06

I think you will get PND regardless of whether or not you read Gina Ford. If it was not her book it would be something else. My biggest problem was trying to breastfeed. The NCT, the hospital, friends and other breastfeeding organisations all said that breastfeeding should be natural and if it hurt then you weren't doing it right.

It hurt me and I had countless people look at my latching-on technique and watching how I fed the baby. I was even told that I was just plain soft. I felt like a complete and utter failure. If I had PND no doubt that would have been my breaking point.

Parenting is not easy and there are countless books, all with contradicting advice telling mums what they should be doing. If you have PND you are even more sensitive to this pressure.

Years ago this probably wouldn't have been an issue as we'd have our parents, grandparents, in-laws and a myriad of other experienced women advising us, supporting us and helping to care for the baby. These days we are pretty much on our own and this is why we turn to parenting books. It's not ideal but that's the way it is.

DueInSeptember · 31/01/2013 13:15

I think I got in from the library when I was pregnant. Put it to one side when the routine said something about getting up at 7am and took it back to the library soon after. I'm lazy and wouldn't want to get up at 7am if I didn't have to!

I've got friends/ family who followed this book and they seemed to get a bit twitchy about nap/ food/ milk /bed times. As if something really BAD would happen if they didn't do it by X time.

Personally I think it's just luck whether you get an easy baby/child or not. I hate to be too rigid so it wasn't for me.

valiumredhead · 31/01/2013 13:15

I think you will get PND regardless of whether or not you read Gina Ford. If it was not her book it would be something else

I agree totally.

Labradorlover · 31/01/2013 14:42

I thank Gina Ford for leading me to Mumsnet, due to the media/suing kerfuffle in 2006.

I laughed at her book.

flowery · 31/01/2013 14:48

Worked really well for us with DS1, partly because he was very near the routine already, and also because I really benefited from someone telling me what to do - felt a bit lost as a new mum.

With DS2 he settled himself into his own routine, plus he had to be more flexible because of DS1 and also I was more relaxed and confident.

Read it, if it works for you great, if it doesn't it doesn't. People get very het up about it, and I do see people who clearly haven't read it criticising it, and people claiming she advocates leaving a hungry baby to cry until it's the right time, which she doesn't at all.

WankbadgersBreakfast · 31/01/2013 15:36

Best comedy I've ever read. If your baby is a routine-y baby, and your house a routine led house then of course it will work.
If, like the Wank-house, a routine is an amusing concept, and your baby agrees with you, then it won't.

BartletForTeamGB · 31/01/2013 15:59

I really liked CLB. I think the key with all the books is to take the bits that you want from from each book that fits you and your baby. I like routine and structure and DS slept much better during the day once I took some of the CLB principles on board.

BartletForTeamGB · 31/01/2013 16:03

Worth saying that, unlike my SIL who did GF and is more GF than GF herself, I firmly believed and believe that a routine is to be my servant, not my master. It never worried me when he didn't have his proper naps etc if we were out or doing something else, because I knew things would settle down when we got back to our usual routine at home. Even GF says that babies need to learn to sleep in places other than their cots etc.

NeedlesCuties · 31/01/2013 16:22

I haven't read any of her 'work' but read Tizzie Hall's "Save Our Sleep" book when DD wouldn't sleep.

I think the two women are similar - neither have kids, but have been nannies for years. Both also love routines for feeding and sleeping.

DS (PFB) was a great sleeper and loved routine, which we sort of fell into together. DD (now 5 months old) just seems to want to do things her own way... for a while it stressed me out, now I'm just trying to go with the flow...

YANBU.

PolkadotCircus · 31/01/2013 16:22

Fab book,worked a treat for all 3 of mine.

Things got very ott in the Gina days,some posters who seemed to think anybody's way other than their own was wrong posted some really unpleasant,nasty and incorrect things-don't blame GF for acting as she did.

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