to think 8 hrs of gymnastics a week is too much?

[ubik]

DD2 is 6. Each week she does a little gym class which she loves, it's a social thing with her friends and sisters.
We have been approached by one of the coaches asking if she could try out for the city acrobatic gymnastics team. She is very small, light and..um.. bendy.
To do this she would have to commit two hours on monday/weds night and Saturday mornings. It is at a leisure centre which is 20/30 mins drive each way. I have two other children and I work shifts.

She would have to give up dancing/swimming/music lesson (which are all activities she does with her friends and which she enjoys)

DP and I have had serious discussion about this - he feels it is too much and too much commitment, he feels it would be unfair to put her into a team sport if we were unable to take it seriously. He says he is worried it would interfere with school work.

I feel like we are letting her down, but am wondering whether this is more to do with my ego (I would love to see her do acrobatics)than what's good for DD2.

Any experience? Are we letting her down?

it is one thing for her doing a little gym class she loves.....would she love it doing it for 6 hours a week and having to give other stuff up??

I have an ex friend whose son does gymnastics for about ten hours a week.....she wants him to be in the next olypmics and he just wants his mum to be proud.

If your DD wants to do it then all well and good but I am more with your DH on this one. It may start off at just 6 hours a week but it won't stay that way and will gradually become more and more....where do you draw the line?

All well and good if it is your daughters dream, not so good if it is yours.

it depends - would she like this more than her other activities?

You need to consider the whole family. If it puts unreasonable strain on any of you then no it isn't worth it. Is it? Would seeing her with a medal round her neck make it all worth it? For some people it would, I guess you need to consider whether you are one of them. She will continue to get better at gymnastics even just going once a week, she can even learn acrobatics.

Have you talked to her about it?
My DD and a friend's (couple of years older DD) have both been through this with swimming. Both good strong swimmers swimming all four strokes legally and well at 6 years old. We both asked our girls would they like to go to club a similar level on commitment to yours. My friend's DD really wanted to go has committed to it now 5 years later is on 8 to 10 hours training a week and is the top 10 swimmers in the South of England for Butterfly in her age group.
My DD said no she didn't want to commit more than 1 hour a week to swimming and now 3 years later has pulled back from swimming completely and Dance and Music are her thing (these now take 6 hours a week of her time).
I think at 6 they can decided whether they love it enough to give the commitment or not.

we went for a 'trial' last night and the coaching is fantastic, they have amazing equipment, all very disciplined...
I don't know. My aunt was a professional ballet dancer, was injured and out of it after 4 years and never had another profession.

It would put alot of strain on the family. DD3 already spends far too much time being placated with snacks while hanging about in drafty sports arenas

Yes the injuries. Remember your aunt because many ballet dancers and gymnasts suffer a great deal of injuries.
And remember all the drop offs/pick ups and in& out of car for siblings. To me it sounds insane but I also like watching the gym at the Olympics so a vote for each side.

Agree, gymnastics is not good for the body long term.

When I was training for my aerobic instructor qualification one of the teachers was an ex gymnast. She said that basically her body is knackered now, her bones regularly pop out of their sockets down to years of putting her body into positions where really it shouldn't be!

I too enjoy watching gymnastics but god, the hours they must put in.....so not just affecting just them but the whole family. Hard esp when there are other kids to consider.

Unless it is really a passion for her just keep her where she goes for the hour per week.

It depends on how talented she is IMO. If she is extremely talented, more than any child that has been through that gym in the last 2 or 3 years, then I would say yes go for it. If she is going to be an Olympic gymnast, then 8 hours of training at age 6 is not much, when you compare it to other nationalities. It would be useful to have an objective opinion on her ability/potential. Another thing, you can also back out of it if it isn't working out.

However, like you say, it would take away parts of her life - swimming, music, friends etc. Even schoolwork. The problem is that most sports have become so extreme these days. Many years ago, "normal" people in "normal" jobs who were talented would compete in the Olympics, because of that talent. These days, athletes complete brutal training to the exclusion of virtually everything else. They live under strict regimes for training, eating and all sorts.

So overall, I would say that unless you objectively believe she has a huge amount of talent, them 8 hours is a ridiculous amount of gymnastics and I would not entertain it.

My daughter did this from 6 as did lots of others at her club and many other clubs - it's very standard. It is a huge commitment and most clubs won't tolerate any half measures. Ours was very strict about attending every single session and not being late. My daughter didn't give too much up (except parties) initially and most of the other girls in her squad were like her - the type who did everything quite intensively.

With acro, as with artistic and rythmic, for girls it means lots and lots of hours from a much younger age than most other sports. Plenty of elite sports will have many hours a week, but not many from the age of 5 or 6. You need to be aware that the hours will increase as she gets older. The really super elite girls are doing crazy amounts into their teens - anything from 15 hours upwards. It's not unheard of to do 25.

My daughter quit artistic gym at 9 when she was on 13 hours a week and switched disciplines to trampolining and tumbling which tend to be less intense. She's now 13 and has trained around 10-12 hours a week ever since.

I don't regret the decision we made to go for it and I'm pleased my daughter continues a high level of commitment to her sport. She never made it to the top of the artistic tree (very very few do) but she competes regularly, is beginning to coach, has made fantastic friends from all over the country and has reached a high level within her chosen discipline. I think it has done her good in many many ways. However, it was a good fit for her personality. My younger daughter didn't have the talent, but even if she had there is no way the hours or the commitment would ever have suited her. She's just a different sort of person.

However, for parents, the gymnastics world can be very very all-consuming, ridiculously competitive and very disappointing if you don't keep a very firm grip on reality. I've thoroughly enjoyed my involvement with it, have learned loads, made brilliant friends and have done coaching and judging. However I've seen plenty of other parents for whom the experience has been very intense - too intense. If you're someone who tends to get over involved or very anxious then it's easy for it to become quite a negative experience I think.

Just looking at some of the comments that came in while I was composing my essay above - yes, do look at her level of talent, but you won't be able to call it tbh. You'll have a much clearer idea in around 2 years time when you've got experience of watching your DD with other gymnasts and your DD has grown a bit. This doesn't mean you can wait 2 years though! You will have missed the elite boat by then, crazy though that sounds.

When my daughter gave up artistic at 9 that was a decision based very much on my feeling that the level of talent (albeit it still very very high) was not enough relative to the others in the squad for me to devote the hours and the logistics. I've always been quite clinical about it, but many other parents thought I was really letting her down. It's not a popular way of looking at things I found!

I think 8 hours is overdoing things. Might even put her off. Tread carefully.

My dd1 was chosen for the development squad from her local gym class. We did it for a year - 3 hours, twice a week at age 6. When she turned 7 they wanted her to do another night after school - another 3 hour session. I had a long chat with dd1 about whether she enjoyed it enough to go 3 timws a week and do lots more competitions at weekends. She said she'd rather be able to go birthday parties and do different after school clubs, so she pulled out. I was very pleased as I could see it becoming more and more of a commitment as the years went on. She now does the "fun" class for one hour a week and is much happier.

Thankyou so much for all your replies, this is really helping me clarify whether we should continue or not.

DD2 is a hard worker, she really tries her best at everything she does, her school work has to be perfect etc, and other concerns are whether she is emotionally tough enough for this sort of thing. As to talent, I have no idea but I think she has inherited bendy feet and joints and I guess physiology is the basis for future training.

I think we will stick to 1 hr a week - i don't want to mess the club about and I don't think it would be fair for her to intensively train with a team only to drop out 2 years from now.

Of course it would be 'fair' for her to intensively train and drop out in 2 years time if it's not right for her.

You have to weigh up the pro's and con's and make your own mind up, but don't let something like that sway you one way or the other. Your DD is just as entitled to this opportunity as any other child with the talent. None of them can guarantee to still be doing it in 2/3/4 years time.

What does your DD think?

I am a level 3 artistic gymnastics coach in my spare time.Squad gymnastics is totally different to recreational.I'd say the answer depends on her personality. We are actually moving away from bringing youngsters under 8 or 9 into squad now unkless they are amazingly talented..The drop out rate is too high.
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My own DD is 7 and I have not put her in squad yet , instead she does 4 hours in an advanced rec class. She works with teenagers and is more interested at the moment in doing 'higher skills' than perfecting a routine of piss easy stuff.

I'd let her do it, if its something shes good at, and she wants to do it. Shame to let the talent go to waste if its something she wants.

To be honest that's a lot of hours for a 6 yr old. My dd does football and taekwondo and she's almost 9. Football for centre of excellence 4 hrs a week but takes 50 mins to get there so almost two hrs travelling. Match on Saturday.Taekwondo is 2 hrs a week. She is shattered but loves it BUT she only just has time for homework and rarely plays out other than on a weekend. So you will need to consider that also.
Some mornings I struggle to get her up for school

Please don't make your daughter give up swimming, even if she does go for the gymnastics. I was never sent to swimming as a child as my mother didn't want all the fuss with drying my hair and also worried pool would ruin my hair. Ok so I had the nicest long blonde hair in my class but I paid for it in having to learn to swim as an adult was not pleasant.

Your DD will thank you for that one when she is older

I would say that (with no experience whatsoever) that that is too much, and risks turning one of her favourite activities into an unpleasant chore for everyone.

Thinking in broad terms, there may be a lot Of Olympic year excess exercise creeping in. Sport is not for everyone at a performance level. I do a lot of TV sport watching on my bum

I think it's quite alot tbh. To complete a day at school do homework and other after school activities and 8 hours on top of gym, when's poor girl meant to eat sleep
And see her friends. ? It's fab she's got the talent but for a six year old it's too much IMO . :)

When I ask DD2, she says she would like to do it, she enjoys the physical challenge. But she also enjoys swimming, music classes and rolling about on the floor with her sisters.
She has no idea about the reality.

At the moment I feel she has a good balance of activities. DP says 'it is not even a proper sport' but I do wonder whether he would be as ambivalent if he had a son picked for football training

I don't think it's the amount of time your DD would put in that's the issue, but the impact on the rest of the family - plus socharlotte has made a very useful comment.

DS1 was invited to do academy football, but the impact on my other two children was too great, plus we didn't want him to become a one trick pony.

At 6 ds knew he wanted to be a chorister and auditioned at our local church. At 8 he is a chorister at our local cathedral and sings for 9 hours a week. When he is 9 he will be singing 22.5 hours a week. It is a huge commitment and affects every aspect of his life. He has had to change schools and will have to do weekly boarding when he is 9. He will have one day at home a week and it will affect all of his out of school activities. He is the one who wanted to do it and he has been very single-minded in getting to where he is now. At 6 he fully understood the commitment he would have to make, which I don't think is especially unusual for a child who is so focused on achieving something.

Having said that I don't have to drag other siblings around or ferry him to and fro and wait for him. If your dd does go ahead hopefully you will find other parents to share lifts/waiting around.