To want to move out?

[Iwanttomoveout]

Bit of background info:
I am one of two girls, dad walked out when I was 4 and mum has raised us. She has a new partner and has been with him for 13 years but he does not live with us. Both my sister and I went to uni and I had planned to move in with a friend when I finished but mum begged me to stay at home to help pay the mortgage.

Roll on 5 years and I am still living at home. I have a DP of 4 years who owns his own flat but I am unable to move in with him as I have a dog (who my mum bought for me when I was younger).

Mum is now mortgage free and is comfortable financially. I am desperate to move out as feel that my life is on hold whilst I am living at home and it is really starting to get me down. I asked my mum if I could move out and leave the dog at home and she said no. Fine.

Dog has not been well lately and we thought we might lose her at which point my mum got very upset and said that she could never not have a dog and would go and get a new one straight away!!

It seems to me that mum is using the dog as an excuse for me to stay living at home and I really do not see a way out.

AIBU to want to move out and leave the much loved dog with my mum? If so how do I approach this with my mum? Sorry for the long post.

I'm really sorry to hear your dog isn't well but if your mum jumps in and gets a new dog when yours has died, then, so long as you make it clear you don't want a new dog, it will be her dog and her responsibility.

She sounds like she is emotionally blackmailing you, almost, to get you to do what she wants.

You need to move out and get on with your life.
Sounds like emotional blackmail to me

Why cant you take the dog?

If your DP owns his flat why can't you take the dog?

Can dp rent his place out and you buy or rent a joint property where you can have a dog?

Have you been able to save up a deposit?

Can't have dog in the flat as no pets allowed in the lease. We are trying to save so we can buy a house so that is the plan but it isn't going to happen quickly. All my friends have got their own places and married and having babies and I am doing nothing. Hate it

So is he renting his flat?

Why should your mum take your dog? It's your responsibility. If she gets a dog, that's her responsibility. This one is not. You're an adult. Move out and get your own place that'll take your dog if your partner's house (that he owns but can't have dogs ) can't accommodate it.

Can you not find and rent your own flat where you can take your dog?

Do you work? Can you pay rent elsewhere?

Definitely rent your own place so that you and your dog can move out. If DP owns his flat, is he intending to sell it so that you can buy jointly? If not then you can't move in with your dog, so start looking for a place to rent.