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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to think dd should be allowed to play rugby with her brothers?

23 replies

3monkeys3 · 31/01/2013 07:58

This is tots/mini rugby, ages 2-7, non-contact. Dh is being very funny about dd going - she wants to and I see it as a good opportunity to have a run around and some fun on a Sunday morning. Ds does tap and ballet with her and no complaints from dh about that, so it's a huge double standard too! How do I tackle him on this without making it a big thing?

OP posts:

Original poster

3monkeys3 · 31/01/2013 07:58

Did not intend tackle pun?!

OP posts:

AThingInYourLife · 31/01/2013 08:01

Why does he get to decide?

beachyhead · 31/01/2013 08:01

My dd did it for a while. Seemed sensible, otherwise she would have had to go an watch or be stuck at home with me. She soon gave up though!

My ds's team had a girl playing up to Age 11, but once the boys started to bulk out, and they play contact at that age, she did suffer more injuries than they seemed to, or maybe that was just her!

She was 'man of the match' on several occasions.

CailinDana · 31/01/2013 08:01

Would you be bringing her? If so, then you don't need to tackle anything, just bring her. If you need him to bring her then tell him he needs to explain to her why she can't go.

CelticPromise · 31/01/2013 08:04

YANBU. It's mixed up until under 12s I believe. Rugby is a great sport for girls, boys, men and women. Are you English? England have the best women's side in the world if that would interest your DH!

CelticPromise · 31/01/2013 08:05

Also, what Cailin said.

thebody · 31/01/2013 08:08

Why are you tackling him? She wants to go so take her.

Is he always so controlling over his dd.

Squash this now or trouble ahead.

YorkshireDeb · 31/01/2013 08:13

I coach rugby at school for girls & boys up to 11. It's brilliant. I'm sure your dd will love it. Try talking to him about his concerns. Does he realise it's non contact? Is he worried she'll want to carry on when she's older? X

MammaTJ · 31/01/2013 08:16

Mixed till 12, so no reason for her not to. In our local club the minis coach is a woman, she is also the head coach and coaches the older girls after main training.

Original poster

3monkeys3 · 31/01/2013 08:16

I don't think he'll actually stop her from going - I hope not anyway - but the funniness is annoying me. Dancing is during the week and I take them without any involvement from him, so possibly that's why he didn't stick his nose in there? The rugby is at the weekend and we'll all go as it's run by friends. I think part if him would like to take ds1 alone for man bonding time (ds2 too little for a while), but he has other opportunities for this (not to mention the tennis he is supposed to have arranged - his main sporting interest - but hasn't). I don't want dd to miss out.

OP posts:

Original poster

3monkeys3 · 31/01/2013 08:26

yorkshire I think that is part of it - I don't think he considers it very feminine.

OP posts:

MrsMushroom · 31/01/2013 08:30

You'll have to simply tell him. There's no not making a fuss....he can't foist sexist views on your DD.

Just tell him DD is joining in or neither goes.

MrsMushroom · 31/01/2013 08:31

Why should he worry she'll want to carry on? If she's that way inclined then there's no changing it. My SIL plays rugby and Aussie rules soccer too....she's not a delicate flower but wouldn't have been even if her parents had refused her joining in these sports as a child.

CelticPromise · 31/01/2013 08:45

I suppose that is your DH's issue with what he sees as 'feminine'! I've been playing for years and it hasn't made me any less feminine She may well want to carry on though, its addictive!

Can't wait til DS is old enough for minis...

dexter73 · 31/01/2013 08:54

Rugby is a great game for girls. My dd has played for years and loves it. She now plays in the U18's and there is a lot of contact, they don't hold back just because they are girls!

WorraLiberty · 31/01/2013 08:59

She'll be playing it in PE anyway so he'll have to get used to it.

mrsjay · 31/01/2013 09:02

why is it his decision sign her up for it if she wants to go, Id imagine little mini rugby will be non contact so his little princess wont be hurt to much

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 31/01/2013 09:07

My boys both play rugby and I have every intention of signing my youngest up when she is eligible, as she comes along and watches anyway, so might as well be playing instead of nagging me for drinks and crisps .

pinkbraces · 31/01/2013 09:13

My friends daughter started playing when she was about 7, she is now in the England team :)

lljkk · 31/01/2013 11:40

Your DH is being daft.

England Women's Rugby team is best in the world.

DD just broke her arm & is gutted that she will be left out of an upcoming tag-rugby tournament, she was one of the star players.

TastesLikePanda · 31/01/2013 12:20

Lljkk - Broke her arm playing rugby? Or some other way?

mimbleandlittlemy · 31/01/2013 12:30

Your dh is being daft - but sadly not unusually so. We have exactly the same with a girl in my ds's team. Very sporty girl, wanted to play like her 3 brothers and she's really, really bloody good at it too (totally fearless, doesn't care how hard the boys hit her in contact and she's front row in the scrum - well she's got 3 brothers so...) but her dad would never, ever watch her. He'd go and stand watching the older boys play while the girl's mother did the watching/cheering on for their dd. It was really sad. Finally had a turnaround when he was the only one able to take dd to a tournament so he had to watch. Realised she was good and now comes to see her playing regularly - and her winning Most Improved Player in the squad last season helped that along too. This is her last season with boys and the team is really going to miss her next season I think.

Not sure if any of that helps - but it does seem to be one of those dad/daughter reaction things.

lljkk · 31/01/2013 13:53

Broke it jumping over a flower planter, lol. Nothing to do with real sport. She is utterly gutted.

DD is also a right girlie girl. Who says sporty girls can't be feminine?

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