To think no school has no bullying?

[Pricklypickup]

My experience is that all schools (state/independent) have incidence of bullying in them, be it verbal, emotional, cyber or physical.

There are some schools that are very good at dealing with it when it occurs, and ensuring it doesn't continue with that particular child/child combination, but never eliminates it completely from their school.

AIBU?

If a school says they have no bullying, it just means they don't deal with it and are in denial.

I feel that the schools that are aware that it happens and deal with it effectively are better than the ones that deny that it happens in their school.

Probably getting off track a bit but I dont understand schools when they
claim to have zero tolerance

My friend's DD (pakistani) was called a racist name at school by a little boy (both 6).

The school spoke to the boy and his parents but then told my friend that is all they could do as he probably hears these words at home. Fair enough, but is this zero tolerance? The school like to advertise this a lot.

Would be much happier with a school that had a clear policy for dealing with incidents of bullying and taught the children how to respond if they are bullied than one that claimed never to have any.

When we chose DS1s school it wa partly because they were really clear about their policies on bullying and on issues like smoking and drinking. They said 'with young people these things will occur. This is how we deal with them'.

I liked that it was all up front and out in the open.

Agree with Pagwatch, it's not that they have found a formula to eradicate bullying, just that they have strong policies and procedures on how to deal with it - and do. I think it must be getting better with it being so much more understood now - and out in the open - but I really do think every single school is affected.

Our school deals with bullying very robustly.

They have very clear policies and procedures, and I like that they don't try to deny the existence of bullying.

When we had our Ofsted inspection the inspectors asked the children about bullying and how safe they felt and there was very positive feedback that the children felt safe and trusted the staff to deal with anything.

My friend's kid's school insist there is no bullying, but it's rife, they just deny there's anything wrong.

I'd prefer a school to say, yes, there has been instances of bullying by this is how we deal with it, than to deny it ever happens.

Tbh I'd be more wary of schools that claim to have a zero tolerance policy than ones who claim it doesn't happen. At my school there was a 'zero tolerance policy'. We were told all about it during an assembly. I spoke to the head of lower school about the fact that I was being bullied not 10 minutes after that assembly & she looked at me as if I was stupid, asked what I expected her to do about it & then told me she couldn't force anyone to be my friend! I'd rather have felt like there was no solution than to be told they'd help & then dismissed like that! It's just words that they feel obliged to say.

Avoid any school that tells you they don't have bullying-it is how they deal with it that matters.

Of course all schools have bullying.

The Secondary school my DS1 attends is massive and inclusive. It deals brilliantly with bullying incidents, has a dedicated team of support staff who deal only with bullying, and was one of the main incentives for me to send him there.

My old secondary school claimed to have a 'zero tolerance' policy. Which basically translated to "we ignore it when it happens so we don't have to file paperwork on it, and claim our rates are low".

Zero tolerance does not mean that bullying doesnt happen, rather than if and when it does, it is dealt with. I am a head of year at a secondary school and we have a zero tolerance policy. I spend a lot of time dealing with friendship fall outs and one off incidents of unkindness. These incidents are treated seriously, because if one off incidents aren't nipped in the bud they can escalate. Incidents of persistent bullying aren't as common, but again they are dealt with. A pupil can be (and has been) excluded for persistent bullying. All schools will have issues of bullying; the good schools deal with it quickly and effectively.

I was bullied all through my final senior school, as was DB. At a parents' evening for DB the year after I left the head teacher was going on about how fab the school was, how there was no bullying due to his influence....

Later that year a boy committed suicide as a result of bullying. Threw himself off a bridge onto the main road.