Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to wonder why so many Mumsnetters think people are unreasonable for wanting to celebrate their birthday?

45 replies

rosewoodlily · 30/01/2013 14:29

It's a pattern I've noticed, whenever someone posts about their birthday plans etc you always get a lot of people saying

Beyond 5 why would you want to celebrate a birthday??

You are selfish!

No-one celebrates their birthdays.

I honestly don't see the problem with people wanting to celebrate their birthday - whether it's a 22nd, 34th, 50th. It's an excuse to get all your friends together and do something nice.

Why are birthday celebraters so hated on here?

Btw this is sort of lighthearted, but I ma also curious..

OP posts:

Pagwatch · 30/01/2013 15:40

I agree with Tethers.

It's a mixture of those who don't care about birthdays and can't begin to imagine why others do - which is fair enough although slightly lacking in imagination - and those who are competitively fucking miserable.
They often turn up on threads where some poor poster is miserable because thir partner and children couldn't even be arsed to say happy birthday and accuse her of being princessy.

I sometimes think they are just grim people who have no friends because they are determinedly drudgy and expect everyone else to be friendless and miserable too. Dementors, fiercely sucking the joy from life with every in breath. They also post 'if that's all you have to worry about...' whenever possible.

ApocalypseThen · 30/01/2013 16:01

I don't care who celebrates their birthday at what age. But it's hard not to sigh at middle aged prima donnas stamping their feet because their friends can't make it on their big day. Past 21, if your family and partner remember, that's great. If your friends can make dinner and drinks, tremendous. If they can't, accept it. The threads here often come across as most controlling and un

StuntGirl · 30/01/2013 16:04

Quite happy to celebrate others birthdays and my own. Always delighted to have an excuse for a meal out and a good time.

^This.

catladycourtney1 · 30/01/2013 16:12

I agree that lots of people can be very demanding when it comes to their birthdays, and I don't think celebrating your birthday has to cost a lot, but I do think it's important. After all, if you can't celebrate having survived another year, what can you?

Snazzynewyear · 30/01/2013 16:13

It's the 'you are never entitled to expect anything of anyone' philiosophy of life, also seen in the form of:

'why are you upset that your best friend has done something hurtful, and who has a "best friend" after the age of 8 anyway?'

and

'why would you ever imagine your parents might help you out with childcare when you really need it and when you've done loads for them? Who asks their parents for anything over the age of 18 anyway? They are perfectly entitled to sit watching Bargain Hunt instead if they want to...'

etc. I think all these viewpoints are tosh.

Snazzynewyear · 30/01/2013 16:13

Eek! philosophy

city1984 · 30/01/2013 16:14

I agree but i don't think it just applies to older people. I posted on here awhile ago about dd aged 6. My dh, ds and inlaws went to a football match at WEMBLEY on her birthday. Yes it was at wembley but I felt it disloyal. I was pretty much told that I was being daft. Yes she did have a party but dh didn't attend. They were gone most of the day.

Pandemoniaa · 30/01/2013 16:22

It's not that people celebrate them but that they get all precious and childish about them.

This.

I love to celebrate my birthday but I'd hope that I could, as an adult, get my birthday into perspective if someone had the bloody cheek to organise another significant event on that day. Weddings, imho, tend to trump birthdays for the simple reason that the former is (hopefully) a once in a lifetime event. Birthdays come around every year.

MrsHoarder · 30/01/2013 16:24

I think its perfectly reasonable to want to celebrate your own birthday. If you arrange an event which is appealing to all your friends with sufficient notice that they don't have other plans then that is great.

If you are over the age of 10 and one person in your friendship group can't make your birthday party them it really isn't a cause for high drama, its just one of those things.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 30/01/2013 16:29

I agree with Pandemoniaa and Nelly (and others)

NellyBluth · 30/01/2013 16:32

I think I've finally summarised in my head the opinion I wanted to express not that I don't have anything better to do...

It's perfectly reasonably to want to do something to celebrate your birthday. It's perfectly reasonable to expect your family to do something for your birthday, depending on what is normal for your family. But it's unreasonable to be upset if your friends don't want to do what you have in mind for your celebration, because other people have their own opinions.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 30/01/2013 16:41

Because it ALL has to be about the children ALL THE TIME...

I don't know why? It's not like this in our family. Anybody who wants to celebrate their birthday will have the whole family there. Some people don't like to (me, for example), I don't like fuss. We all acknowledge everybody's birthday, nobody is left out. Nobody is made to feel that they're less important because they're not - adult or child.

HecateWhoopass · 30/01/2013 16:46

I don't think people care about others celebrating their birthday so much as think it's ridiculous if an adult gets a cob on because someone isn't available on their birthday, or describes how they burst into tears because their birthday is on the Thursday but their partner has a meeting they won't cancel and is taking them out on friday instead...

That sort of stuff is childish.

Not the celebrating itself.

KellyElly · 30/01/2013 16:49

Because they are joyless and miserable

Oblomov · 30/01/2013 17:02

"£400 celebrating your birthday"
"£10-20 on a present and £40 on a night out."

Is this all about money?

I love birthdays. Birhtdays are big for us. Dh and I don't do presents, but he buys a card,and he bakes a cake, or buys a cheap one. And I make him a cake, and make him a nice curry or whatever meal he likes.
A card and a cake is all I get and i am more than grateful. Minimal cost.

Oblomov · 30/01/2013 17:04

"Quite happy to celebrate others birthdays and my own. Always delighted to have an excuse for a meal out and a good time."

Totally agree.

NellyBluth · 30/01/2013 17:16

Sometimes it is about the money - in my experience, the people I know who are big on celebrating birthdays, and who would be the ones to be upset or annoyed if you didn't come to their celebration, are the ones who chose more expensive things to do. Whereas I'm with you, DP and I don't often buy each other presents, but we do try and make the day nice for each other.

FeckOffCup · 30/01/2013 17:18

Totally agree with this, celebrate your birthday however you want but don't get arsey because someone can't make your celebration or even just doesn't want to go because the world doesn't revolve around anyone's birthday. I don't like a fuss made on my birthday but I would happily go out for a meal and drinks for a friend's if I had money and babysitters. I would be less than impressed if said friend had a foot stamping hissy fit because I didn't go.

specialsubject · 30/01/2013 17:26

celebrate by all means - just don't expect the world to come to a stop. Same as for a wedding.

SquinkiesRule · 30/01/2013 17:32

We do birthdays. Usually a nice meal out and cake if you aren't a little kid who's having a party or 18, 21 and celebrating a big number.
It's the ones that expect you to buy a gift, spoil them rotten and find a sitter for the kids and to drive a few hundred miles spending more money than you have on a spa weekend or vacation that you really aren't interested in and then get all pissy that you don't care about them and
Some people think that they and their birthday are more important than anyone else.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread