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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL and organic soya unsweetened milk!

21 replies

grants1000 · 30/01/2013 08:48

MIL & FIL are coming to stay as it's my Step Fathers funeral on Friday. It is lovely of them to come and support us, especially our children, their two grandsons. However, I get an email asking me to ensure that we have some organic soya unsweetened milk in the house as well as some rye bread.

WTF?! Serriously WTF? I have better things with helping my Mum, that going to the the supermarket findning these products, which I doubt our small local supermarket has anyway, she does not work and can easily bring them. Why is she so thoughtless and mental?

OP posts:
TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub · 30/01/2013 08:51

Sorry for your loss, it's an awful time for you.

She may not realise that this isn't stocked local to you. Can you just email back and ask her to bring her own?

GirlOutNumbered · 30/01/2013 08:53

She hardly sounds mental. You are family aren't you? Can't your DH go to the supermarket?

However, if you think it's really hard to do, just politely email and say sorry our local doesn't stock it, best bring your own.

amicissimma · 30/01/2013 08:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

valiumredhead · 30/01/2013 08:56

All supermarkets sell soya milk ime, they are readily available, even our corner shop sells it. The same with rye bread - it's everywhere! Send your dh/partner.

Mental?

Sorry for your loss.

Yfronts · 30/01/2013 08:58

I don't think it's mental, lots of people have things they eat/avoid. In your case just text and say sorry that you won't be going to the supermarket before hand and can they bring milk/rye with them as you are spending all your time with your mum at the moment.

Bobbybird40 · 30/01/2013 08:59

Tell he to fuck off with her pointless finicky requests. Soya milk is gross, as is rye bread, I wouldn't handle either. Let HER husband go get em.

Yfronts · 30/01/2013 08:59

ps - all our shops sell soya milk and there are many places to buy rye too. There aren't rare foods.

BrianButterfield · 30/01/2013 09:00

Anyone I know who requires special foods usually brings their own.

CailinDana · 30/01/2013 09:00

Why are your PILs emailing you? Get your DH to sort it out. If he doesn't and they complain just say "Sorry I had bigger things on my mind."

Original poster
grants1000 · 30/01/2013 09:06

Soya milk yes (Booths- for those in the South small but fab chain of supermarkets, cross between Waitrose & Sainsbury's, good for bits but you'd be mad to do a 'big shop' there unless you are minted) but organic unsweetened no. And you have to order the rye bread as a special. Otherwise it's a 15 mile round trip to a big Sains or Tesco.

I meant 'mental' as in why email me and not DH, why not bring your own from hom and why bother me which such crap before my step fathers funeral?

OP posts:
mrsstewpot · 30/01/2013 09:06

I agree with OP - thoughtless and mental. You are not a hotel. They are grown ups and should be able to see to themselves.

It would be different if you had offered i.e. "I'm going to the supermarket, can I get anything in for you for your visit?". And this really would be ok in 'normal' circumstances. They should be coming to make things easier at the moment.

Be honest and tell her you can't play hostess on this occasion.

choceyes · 30/01/2013 09:11

YANBU. She should bring her own if she's that bothered, you have enough on your plate at the moment!

Paiviaso · 30/01/2013 09:32

Maybe she thought you might be going to the supermarket before she came, and thought she'd let you know she is particular about those two things. I think it's a bit thoughtless but innnocent.

If you don't want to deal with it (which is fine) just tell her you are a bit overwhelmed/busy/not able to get them and could she bring them herself.

literarygeek · 30/01/2013 09:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

drownangels · 30/01/2013 09:51

I wouldn't get wound up over it.
If you go to the supermarket this week to get provisions for yourself and possibly the after funeral wake, if you are doing one yourselves pick some up.If you are not going to the shop tell her you are not going to the shop.

No need for a drama and all the WTF's

PickledInAPearTree · 30/01/2013 10:00

I can see if your really stressed finding things like that us a hassle you can do without.

Personally if I wanted rye bread & soya milk I'd take it - a reasonable sized supermarket would have both especially the soya milk.

Or answer saying sorry been to our shop and they didn't have them would you mind picking some up on the way? Next time you visit I will have more time to go to a larger ship but all a bit manic at the moment here. Something like that.

Sorry to here about your step father.

Catsdontcare · 30/01/2013 10:03

Personally I would pass the email to your dh then not give it a second thought. I do think it's a bit crap of them to email you and ask actually.

ledkr · 30/01/2013 10:10

So despite having suffered a bereavement and having two kids the op must go shopping for her pil who have more time on their hands?
Really?
Not mental but extremely presumptuous.
I'd tell them you didn't have time so could they stop on the way please.

Beamae · 30/01/2013 10:14

She should bring her own. She's rude not to.

StanleyLambchop · 30/01/2013 11:32

Personally I would not do it under the circumstances. But I would certainly pass the e-mail onto my DH, her son, to sort out. If he then wanted to pander to her little whims then so be it. What does your DH say? And why did she not ask him in the first place- is her son not capable of a bit of shopping ?

firesidechat · 30/01/2013 12:55

If I was your MIL I would bring my own and never, ever ask my host to supply it. Seems a bit rude to me.

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