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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hate learning to drive?

50 replies

pinkstinks · 30/01/2013 08:47

I do not. Enjoy it. it is really hard, and is costing me £200 a month! Learning since Sept and still find clutch control hard, which means everything takes forever. I know I can't stop now as it will be like throwibg my hard earned money away, but I won't be able to afford to have a car let alone insure one. It all feels a bit pointless. I dread wednesdays as I know I have a 2 hour lesson. I do.t have anyobe that can take me out between my lessons either. I love learning so.am really surprised by how much I hate this.
Please convince me iabu and it will all be ok in the end. I wish I had just done this when i was 17!!!

OP posts:

valiumredhead · 30/01/2013 08:51

2 hour lessons are far too long to begin with - my instructor would only give 1.5 hr lessons just when you were ready to take the test. I never had any practise in between lessons but I had an hour a week and then had 2 one hour lessons a week as I progressed. I learned late as well - it's hard!

orangepudding · 30/01/2013 08:52

I felt the same as you for most of last year, had lessons but did enjoy driving. I was a slow learner too! I carried on as I was determined to pass however long it took! Started in Jan and finally passed in November. I still don't like driving but love the freedom out has given me.

orangepudding · 30/01/2013 08:53

I had two hour lessons all along, found it worked well for me.

valiumredhead · 30/01/2013 08:54

They say you need roughly an hour's lesson for every year of your age - I needed loads!

MrsBucketxx · 30/01/2013 08:54

I agree with valium split the two hours to two hour sessions you'll feel like your driving more and be on the road kess iykwim.

I changed my instructor as I felt like I wasnt learning much with my first one, we would chat and not learn much.

MrsBucketxx · 30/01/2013 08:55

it took me ages too it took six times to pass

DeepRedBetty · 30/01/2013 09:00

yanbu to HATE learning to drive. ywbu to let it stop you, but you're not planning to stop anyway.

When you pass (note my v positive WHEN) you will find that in normal driving you don't do quite so many manoeuvres with loads of clutch control. I remember the pain in my left leg from parallel parking again and again and again...

For which reason little and often may suit you better than one big chunk.

Having said, if you live a long way from the driving test centre (like we did when I first started learning) then long lessons may make more sense logistically - not much point in driving for twenty minutes to get to the streets where you'll be taking your test, practising for twenty minutes then driving home again.

Geekster · 30/01/2013 09:01

I'm the same I passed my test years ago, but I have never liked driving, I haven't driven at all for a couple of years. But it is a useful skill to have as you never know when you might need it. My Dad took me out when I was 17 round the local supermarket car park on a Sunday when it was closed. Was doing ok got into second gear then the wooden fence was looming and I didn't know how to break, managed to rip the wing off the car. My Dad made sure my sisters and bro had a few lessons first before he took them out, though one of my sisters managed to hit a Porsche oops. No wonder my Dad is bald!

amicissimma · 30/01/2013 09:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrsjay · 30/01/2013 09:07

Dont stop I did and I really regret it although I can get about on the bus or my feet I cant just jump into the car and go where I want when I want I need to wait for grumpy arsed husband to go to the supermarket , split your lessons into 2 1 hour lessons It took my daughter months to learn to drive I wouldn't let her stop, on maybe go for an automatic if you are finding the controls hard

mrsballack · 30/01/2013 09:07

I'm with you. I'm learning too and I hate my lessons. I hate having to make small talk with my instructor. I hate that driving is the one thing I've had to make an effort to learn. But, like you I won't give up as it would be a waste of money. So no yanbu.

midnightinmoscow · 30/01/2013 09:09

This was me 2 years ago.

Dreading my lessons every week.

I passed on my second attempt, and have now been driving alone for 1 year. I love it. The freedom is amazing and life changing. You will get there.

Fakebook · 30/01/2013 09:10

I loved my driving lessons because I loved driving. Maybe cut down the 2 hour session to one hour twice a week and then increase the time as you get more confident. I drove as a learner for about 3 years before I took my test the second time and passed. You need to practise a little bit everyday to get confident.

Don't be afraid to change instructors either. I had 2 crap instructors and they really took the piss.

mrsjay · 30/01/2013 09:11

on and yes i wasted 100s of pounds which I felt really guilty about for a long time

dizzy77 · 30/01/2013 09:13

I hated it while i was learning, aged 30. I hated feeling incompetent, frustrated, like a child that I couldnt manage this seemingly simple thing millions of idiots (sorry) did as practically children and here I was, a grown adult, being rubbish at it. I had a pretty responsible job and since leaving education had more or less gone out of my way to avoid challenging myself like this, putting my own and other peoples view of my competence at risk.

I have since learned that this is a pretty normal part of the adult learning journey - yes, it's hard, yes it's a pain and frustrating, but when i accepted that it's just a thing I did a couple of times a week and not obsess about how horrible it was before, after and during, the fog cleared. Still took me five tests to pass but now I don't even think (about what i have ti think about) before I turn the key when I get in the car and I'm so pleased I have the skill.

Good luck OP. you'll get there.

SpicyPear · 30/01/2013 09:16

YANBU. I did it at 17 and hated it just as much then. I really would consider two one hour sessions if possible as two hours is a long time for a learner to be driving.

Once you've passed could you put the money you were spending on lessons away to save for a car? It would be a bit easier to motivate yourself if you are going to use it once you've passed.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 30/01/2013 09:17

If you're hating it have you considered moving to a different instructor with a different car? It could be that their clutch is knackered. I remember one of my instructors had a really awful car and I struggled to find 1st gear. Got so bad that I would dread the lessons. Switched instructor, switched car and it was fine.

bluecarrot · 30/01/2013 09:19

What shoes do you wear op? I wore my v knackered Toms to drive so i could feel the pedals better. Once I wore doc martens and my clutch control was awful! ( after driving a while, I can now wear any shoes- I passed 3 months ago)

Original poster

pinkstinks · 30/01/2013 09:40

Ah thanks for all the responses, it is so nice to year about others experiences. I.am resigned to learning but it is.just so frustrating.
I wear really flat ballet shoes to really feel the pedals, although I forgot due to the snow last week and wore my end and regressed a few months!!
When (!) If I pass I will use the.money to save for house/wedding but appreciate I know I can save that amount a month and still be ok.
You are all right, I know it is.necessary, however I have already had more than 24lessons (my age!) I keep comparing.myself to other drivers who are learning and doing roundabouts on lesson two when I've only just started!! I've only just started drivig myself from work to the practise area and home!

OP posts:

Bunbaker · 30/01/2013 09:59

I hated learning to drive as well. I used to have one hour lessons and it took me a year before I felt ready to take a driving test. However it was so worth it. I have been driving for over 30 years and still feel so glad that I have the freedom to just hop in the car and go where I want when I want.

I also find that I hardly ever use the clutch to control the car, and it knackers the clutch so it isn't a good idea to do it too often anyway. You will really only need it to do a hill start.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 30/01/2013 10:00

Ballet shoes are not the best really because it's like driving in bare feet.... pretty tricky, even for an experienced driver. You need something with a good firm sole so that you can have some grip on the pedal.

LineRunner · 30/01/2013 10:04

Another one here who thinks 2 hour lessons are awful.

One of my driving instructors many years ago used to regale me with stories of the Glasgow underworld. It was a bit off-putting.

MrsBucketxx · 30/01/2013 10:11

thinking about it its rare I would drive for two hours now, and I have been driving for a bit now.

an hour is the most in one go I drive anyway.

valiumredhead · 30/01/2013 10:12

Yeah, a 2 hour drive is a long drive when you have passed let alone when you are learning!

midnightinmoscow · 30/01/2013 10:12

If you are really having problems with the clutch would you consider switching to learning in an auto?

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