Taking day off

[Roopoo]

I think IABU infact I think I will get a flaming but just wanted opinions.

I am SAHM to 3yr old and 4mnth old.

I am ill achey, bones hurt headache etc etc feel really rubbish.
I have no one to help out

AIBU to want DH to take day off to help? He says he has no spare leave.So I said take a sick day and it escalated into a row.

Im being unreasonable aren't I?

I think companies do have to provide unpaid parental leave for emergencies. I only get 5 emergency days a year. So I keep them for real, proper, no other option days.
I thought he must have used them up as the OP didn't suggest it.

I wouldn't use an unpaid parental leave day for this iyswim

X post. Just take it easy today OP. It won't do the kids any harm to watch loads of telly!

Hope you feel better soon!

See if he can start a bit later and finish sooner.
I would not want anyone to have sick leave on their file especially if he wasn't sick. If he looks for another job in the next 5 years the potential new employers ask for sickness details.

tantrums. Maybe not all companies give 5 emergency days

If you are getting proper 'flu, then you will be too sick to look after the children and no amount of TV will change that.

Really whether he needs to be home depends on how sick you are.

Your children shouldn't be left effectively unattended if you are too unwell to be responsible for them.

If you can MN, you are probably not that sick (yet).

OP, don't feel pathetic for asking. You had some YANBUs and some of the YABUs were simply about taking it as sick rather than unpaid leave. Talk to DH later about how you can plan things differently during the next leave year, maybe?

Tantrums, I would have considered this emergency enough to use my unpaid leave, especially with a SAHP who is not otherwise closed for snow, flooding, staff training etc

This guide says there is no amount set in law but that you are allowed reasonable time off and can't be discriminated against because of it.
www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants/your-rights

Proper flu imo is bed-bound unable to do much other than stagger to the loo and back. Too ill to be in charge of two babies. Therefore there is no adequate childcare and so he should be off.

The thing is, I try and hang on to my parental leave days until I have no other option.
If DH was feeling unwell, but generally able to get through the day, I would go to work, work through my lunch, come home early and do everything at home.
If he had a vomiting bug, or was literally unable to function I would take unpaid leave.

It's hard though, no one wants to leave their DH/Dw at home with 2 demanding DCs if they are feeling unwell, I suppose a lot depends on the company you work for as well, how flexible they are.

think it's pretty weird to ask dp/dh to take a day off if he isn't sick. it's not like you are in hospital or anything

what sort of company would allow that anyway? another reason for companies to dislike parents of young children if people abuse it

Maybe have a back up plan in place for future sick days.... Have you anyone you could call.

Not to be smart but your not that sick if your able to start threads on social media sites debating if your hubby should take a sick day. I think you need to buck up a bit and stop looking for attention.

I totally understand where you're coming from. There is no sick leave from being a SAHM, it's really tough. A couple of years ago I was in your position and DH was able to arrange a days parental leave which was lucky. My MIL was utterly shocked that he would do such a thing. She clearly saw me as a slacker, conveniently forgetting that when she had small children they lived abroad and had servants to take care of the kids so she was never in that position.
Hope you can make up with your DH and that he can at least come home early, fix some dinner and take care of the kids baths and bed....

You should be able to look after your children even if your leg had fallen off.yanbu some bloody harsh answers on this thread

how are you feeling op?

i don't think you were unreasonable btw. i am a single parent and thank god for having helpful family nearby because it is hell looking after small children when you are ill. i do wonder what the point of marriage is if it isn't to be a team and help each other out and share the realities of parenthood.

i also wonder what all these sahms being so harsh wonder what single mums do when their children are sick or their childminders are sick or the school decides to close because a cm of snow fell. i'd have to have the day off of work or work from home - i'd offer to make up time later in the week or have it unpaid or whatever. the law is there and the reality is that most employers understand when you need it and appreciate it's the first time you've ever asked them or it's been ages since it last happened etc.

the trouble is it seems to be assumed (even by women) that whilst this is ok for women somehow men's work is far more important or something and must never ever be compromised you're a person and a partner not a house elf - i don't think you're unreasonable to have asked.

Well we had a duvet day and watched way to much Cbeebies!

DH home now so Im away to bed to try and sleep it off

Thanks for all replies .

OP... maybe a bit late now but doesn't DH's work have a policy whereby he can take unpaid leave to look after (temporarily) sick family?

Unpaid leave may equal unpaid bill which may be a worry to some families.

I think asking for a partner to have a day off it must mean you are pretty unwell so Yanbu to have asked.

Get well soon.

Hope you have a better day tomorrow.