I'm more put out that I will have to give up smoking than about the actual, you know, scary hot wires business.

[SolidGoldBrass]

AIBU to be laughing about it and being silly rather than actually thinking about the horrid prospect of an upcoming minor op? Actually I want sick gross jokes, not handholding.
(To save dripfeeding, it's a 'suspect area' that has to be chopped out of a nork. Involving hot wires and general anaesthetic and far too gross to contemplate, so I would rather piss and moan about having to stop the tabs and the booze, thanks...)

When I was young and everyone was having their tonsils whipped out, the only thing that terrified me about the prospect of the op, was the news that you had to have a bath in front of a nurse

I recently had a nine day stay in hospital and didn't miss the booze or fags at all, though did get obsessed with what was on the menu each day, like everyone else on the ward. It was all we could talk about.

Good luck with it OP.

You've probably heard this before but it is one of my favourite jokes (not least because one of my mates is in fact a Dr. Dave).

Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't.

The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming.
But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said:

"Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go.."

But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering:......

Dave......

Dave.............

..............you're a vet".

Hope the op goes well, Solid. When is it scheduled for?

thanks Poledra. Have no date yet but 'some time soon...'

Will it be a permanent break up with the fags, or just until you recover from the op? It's hard to find a silver lining in a nork chop. Will they at least give you some really nice pain relief afterwards?

(side note: last time I had a minor op, I apparently purchased and assembled a flatpack corner unit while under the influence of whatever they gave me. Woke up wondering where the hell that ugly-ass thing came from )

I did have some a minor nork-chop once. It was a great excuse not to wear a bra for a couple of weeks, but caused the sad realization that my boobs are so small as to make little difference.

If I tried going bra-less now, I'd need a wheelbarrow to cart them around, so as not to trip over them.

Can't think of any medical jokes at the mo (other than my 5-year old's) but this one's reasonably topical. A man goes up to a fast food stall and asks for a burger. The guy behind the counter asks what he wants on it, and he replies "a fiver at 7 to 1 each way."

Knock knock

Who's there?

Doctor

Doctor Who?

Haha you just said it.

.

You'll be fine. Trust me.

I've had hot wire stuff done before and wasn't aware of it even with just IV sedation - and that was in my urethra... You'll be completely unaware with a GA (which will be fine too), you'll get fab painkillers in hospital and it'll heal before you know it. The only it time I felt sore was when I was weeing, didn't feel anything else despite it being a reasonably nervey area!

Hospital joke from the internet (sickipedia to be precise):

^The best thing about alcohol hand gel in hospitals isn't the hygiene,

but that everyone walks around like they're hatching a dastardly plan...^