to want to know, how you deal with nosey questions you don't want to answer?

[redbobblehat]

family do coming up, will see realatives i havent seen in years.

i expect i will be asked all sorts of nisey questions i do not want to anwser, for various reasons

so what are good responses to questions you dont want ot answer?

i use

we'll see......

not sure......

not at the moment.......


i have various reasons.......



what do you say?

[badtemperedaldbitch]

I always say 'ha ha ha, now what about.......'
And change the subject.

It works because they think you are a looney.......

[BumpingFuglies]

"Not sure really....how are your piles?"

[redbobblehat]

if you can tell me how it's any of your business, I'd be happy to discuss it with you

ohh thats good

[ImperialBlether]

What are they likely to ask you, OP?

[redbobblehat]

stuff like when are you goign ot have another child, when are you going back to work, what are your plans etc?

[deste]

I would just say, wait and see. There is no point in being rude.

[toomuchbother]

"Oh, I haven't decided/thought about it yet" works for me!

[DoItToJulia]

I say "I don't answer personal questions!" But in a cheeky way....

Throws 'em right off!

[sixlostmonkeys]

when are you going to have another child? - Not sure, we are thinking of breeding alligators instead.

when are you going back to work? - you mean I haven't actually been working all this time? darn I could have had lie-ins.

what are your plans? - World domination followed by a new carpet for the living room.

[carabos]

I find that the answer "well you always want more don't you" works surprisingly well as an all-purpose neutral answer. Try it...
Nosey q about money - answer "Well you always want more don't you?"
Nosey q about kids/ prospective pregnancies "Well you always want more don't you?"
Nosey q about moving house - "well you always want more don't you?".

It's a slightly odd response which could make sense and makes the inquisitor pause in a "is it me?" kind of way.

[MerlotAndMe]

"ah is this the charming English reserve?"

(but this works better as I'm foreign)

[DontmindifIdo]

When I was asked when I'd be having a next child at a wedding when DS was 18 months, I smiled and said, "not sure, but I know so many people who haven't been able to have any children, I feel so blessed to have him, he's such a love isn't he? MIL was saying how much he looks like DH did at that age, what do you think?"

Now, I thought Id dealt with that well, however the general concensus after that in DH's family was that I couldn't have any more DCs, so possibly not the way to go...

For work type questions, do you have an answer to it? Do you have a plan for being SAHM or going back after a set amount of time? Is it that you feel you are being judged by the question? Like there's a right and wrong answer?

[redbobblehat]

no i justdon't like being asked various questions, from people i'm not keen on

[redbobblehat]

when are you going back to work? - you mean I haven't actually been working all this time? darn I could have had lie-ins. lol at this

[totallyfrazzled]

I've been used to this as, when expecting twins, i was constantly asked by total strangers "is it IVF?'
When a dear friend asked the same question in a tentative and tearful way, I of course, gave an honest answer as I knew why she was asking. (Ie she had been trying for a while, it wasn't happening and she was desperate for help)
For the total strangers who I thought had the most unbelievable nerve - I mean, who the hell did they think they were asking such a question, and why did they think they deserved an answer?? I would just lie blatantly in answer, which i think is all they deserved and frankly as they were complete strangers who I would never see again, it did not matter a hoot to me that I was dishing out a load of total rubbish.

In a long winded way, I am trying to say, if you think they are out of order asking a particular question, they deserve a ridiculous answer....let your imagination run riot!!

[LineRunner]

My DSis says 'Who knows?' and laughs. She's very good at this kind of thing.

[LittleChimneyDroppings]

Just say "nosey aren't you?" with a big smile on your face. And if they carry on then tell them to mind their own beeswax, in the nicest possible way.

[Idreamofafullnightssleep]

I just go for the cringe factor!

We always got asked when we were going to have children and after years of going 'we are having too much fun' etc I just turned round to people and told them I couldn't have children. The look on their faces always amused me especially as they tried to apologise and backtrack. I would like to hope that they would think again before asking the same question and maybe/probably upsetting someone.

I now have stock answers for questions I get about my DS who we adopted last year. It is great that people take an interest but it is his story to tell not mine and I have some vague answers so I am not rude as I can understand people wanting to know how the system works etc.

[ArtVandelay]

Personally, I like ahhaha- goodness, you are funny Haha.. subject change.

If its about money or property I will say oh dear, you can't ask an English person questions like that - we simply can't discuss that! Subject change. Not sure this will work with another English person.

Both imply the asker is a bit daft and provincial. I find this approach works well. Overall, confidence is the key.