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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think SIL should not have offered DP antibiotics?

46 replies

Lonelybunny · 29/01/2013 08:03

Ok long story so will make it short as possible. DP had a bit of a runny tummy on Sat eve. We were babysitting SIL's kids Sunday all day (she is a nurse) she came back on her lunch break and we warned her that DP hadn't been well and hope her kids don't come down with it , we tried to warn her early morning but her phone was switched off. She then said do you need some antibiotics for it Hmm didn't think upset stomach required antibiotics which I told her. Anyway she went back to work then when she returned to get the kids she pulled a pack out her pocket and still offered to him! This is dangerous they weren't in a box and where did she get them from? Another argument between DP and I broke out yesterday because I told him how silly she was just offering like that and he said she knows what she is doing she is a nurse! Me and SIL don't get along and never will I really dislike her and she knows that and she disliked me from the beginning she used to push me when know one was looking how pathetic ! But what the hell was she playing at !?!?

OP posts:
helpyourself · 29/01/2013 08:09

Unclench.
He's an adult not your child. Runny tummy Hmm
Do you enjoy having drama with your SIL?
(BTW over use of antibiotics keeps me awake at night, I really worry that they're going to become useless and we'll all be liable to serious health problems in the not so distant future, but I think for you it's just something to fall out with SIL about.)

CloudsAndTrees · 29/01/2013 08:15

Why did it turn into an argument?

I don't agree with your SIL offering out antibiotics, but it's not worth arguing with your DP about.

Sugarice · 29/01/2013 08:16

If he was daft enough to take them then more fool him!

Let him get on with it and don't stress, is it really worth the row with your DP?

YellowDinosaur · 29/01/2013 08:18

I don't think it's dangerous that they're not in a box - she is a nurse and presumably knows what they are.

I agree with the comments about overuse of antibiotics though. And that you don't usually need then for your dh symptoms. But why are you even involved? Surely it's between your sil and dh

sooperdooper · 29/01/2013 08:20

He's a grown man 'runny tummy' ?!

He can choose whether to take them or not, she was trying to help, think you're looking for an argument with her

Tailtwister · 29/01/2013 08:21

I agree, your dh is an adult and should decide for himself. However, I too wonder where she got them from. Presumably they have to be prescribed by a dr, so were they from an old prescription for her or from another patient? I know that lots of people have unused repeat prescriptions lying around (especially the elderly) but surely these should be destroyed and not reused?

Percephone · 29/01/2013 08:21

YANBU! Totally irresponsible of her. AB's should be prescribed by a doctor and were almost certainly not indicated here. Sounds like she stole them from work too. Just wonder how many times she has done this before!

Tailtwister · 29/01/2013 08:23

Are antibiotics even used for something like 'runny tummy'? I thought they wholly be mor likely to give you diarrhoea rather than cure it. Anyone know? I'm curious now!

Callisto · 29/01/2013 08:27

She sounds like an irresponsible idiot to me, and how did she get the AB's? Did she steal them? Awful, and I would have had the same reaction as you OP.

Btw, if you loathe each other, why do you look after her children and why does she allow you too?

CheCazzo · 29/01/2013 08:29

Sorry but "runny tummy"? That, along with your rather ridiculous little story make you sound about 6! This should have had nothing at all to do with you. Read that line again. And again. Then get your precious beak out of it.

Montybojangles · 29/01/2013 08:30

Am a nurse, am concerned where she got the antibiotics from, and what exactly did she think she was treating? If he had norovirus antibiotics won't work-it's a virus. Would have been better telling him to drink fluids, maybe take Imodium and perhaps have some Yakult.
She is acting outside of her scope of professional practice, possibly stole drugs from the NHS, and should know the overuse of unnecessary antibiotic therapy has led to the problems with resistant infections like MRSA
climbs back down off high horse

CheCazzo · 29/01/2013 08:36

And it is highly unlikely that a nurse would think anti-biotics a good thing for Hmm runny tummy Hmm so excuse me, won't you, if I say I don't believe a word of this.

poorbuthappy · 29/01/2013 08:37

Nothing like pouncing on a turn of phrase which you don't like. Perhaps the OP can't spell diarrhoea?

Anyway, YANBU. Go on someone explain to me how exactly antibiotics help diarrhoea?

Mosman · 29/01/2013 08:38

She would be in so much trouble for this if he became ill, I take it she's not a nurse practitioner with prescribing authority ?

annh · 29/01/2013 08:39

How long have you known your SIL? She used to push you when no-one was looking - how old were you all then? 6???!!!

Kundry · 29/01/2013 08:46

So your SIL, who is a nurse and presumably can't prescribe, has got some antibiotics from work and given them to your DH.

From a professional perspective this is appalling:
Antibiotics are only available on prescription, she is not a prescriber and is acting outside the scope of her practice
Antibiotics are only rarely a treatment for diarrhoea and can cause significant harm if used incorrectly - again she is outside the scope of her practice
How did she get the antibiotics - without a prescription, and seeing as your DH is not a patient where she works, this is theft.

If she actually knew what she was doing, she wouldn't have done this!

If her work knew, this would be viewed v dimly.

Original poster
Lonelybunny · 29/01/2013 09:12

Lol yep I think she has the mentality of a 6 year old ! Eventually I told her to f off! lol she hates me think she is jealous of us but that's neither here or there tbh but makes it worse when I tell DP she was wrong as he knows we don't get along just looks like me digging which I suppose I am but sorry who's not to know one day when I return t work she may offer my kids something !?! Dnt know why she lets me babysit perhaps she really dont care I don't know ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Lonelybunny · 29/01/2013 09:38

But surely as a nurse she should know these things Hmm unless it was a joke ? Which I replay don't think it was tbh ! It's worrying to think she has studied for 3 years to be a nurse and she doesn't even know what anti-biotics are for Confused

OP posts:
Leverette · 29/01/2013 10:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Bluestocking · 29/01/2013 11:00

If you dislike her this much, you have the ammunition now to have her disciplined by her workplace.

Pandemoniaa · 29/01/2013 11:04

Lol yep I think she has the mentality of a 6 year old ! Eventually I told her to f off! lol

Do you not see a certain irony here?

I don't think YABU in thinking that it was inappropriate for your SIL to offer random and irregularly dispensed antibiotics. However it sounds as if you are much keener on causing trouble than you are dealing with this in an adult way.

Dothraki · 29/01/2013 11:04

If your dp is stupid enough to take them thats up to him. I would be more concerned that you had her kids and she had her phone switched off Hmm

YellowDinosaur · 29/01/2013 11:15

Calm down everyone there is nothing to say she nicked them from work. They might have been hers that she didn't take previously. You can also buy antibiotics over the counter in some countries - op hadn't said this is in the UK. Most nurses will know what antibiotics are for even of they don't have prescribing responsibilities. Some nurses do have the right to prescribe though. Alternatively she might have described her brothers symptoms to someone who does have prescribing rights who felt he needed antibiotics and prescribed them - not ideal without seeing the patient but in certain circumstances I (as a doctor) would consider this depending on the circumstances (admittedly probably not just for diarrhoea).

If she did nick them I agree this is a serious business but if I have read the op correctly then she didn't know of her brothers symptoms when she came home so would have had no cause to nick them with her brother in mind.

Antibiotics are only indicated for certain types of infective diarrhoea and should only be given with a positive stool culture plus corresponding symptoms, or a very strong clinical suspicion based on the history of how the diarrhoea came about and a very sick patient. Alternatively if he has a condition called diverticular disease and other symptoms suggestive of diverticulitis (usually pain in the lower left side of his abdomen) this would be an indication for antibiotics. Most causes of diarrhoea though would not respond to antibiotics and as such your dh would be silly to take them.

Plus there is the issue of increasing antibiotic resistance which is only being made worse by antibiotics being used inappropriately. So, in the absence of suspected diverticulitis, for this reason your sil is being very unreasonable in giving them to your dh even if she does have prescribing rights.

Hope that helps

YellowDinosaur · 29/01/2013 11:19

Dothraki if she is a nurse she probably wouldn't have been allowed to have her phone on at work and it would have been possible to contact her at work if there was an emergency.

Anyway despite my long post above I stand by my initial comment that this is between your sil and dh so other than telling him what your thoughts are you need to leave them to it.

meditrina · 29/01/2013 11:19

You say she offered DP pills (from blister pack?)

You don't say whether he took them. Did he?

Do you know for sure they were ABs (not say, immodium)?