to risk offending other mums by not inviting their dds to my dd's party?

[mathsconundrum]

Dd will be 7 and is having a build a bear party. DD wants to invite her best friends and some other girls who are friendly. I risk offending 3 mums who I know and like.
On the one hand, it's dd's special day, she wants to share it with children she feels comfortable with and it's expensive so I need to keep numbers down. On the other hand she has been invited to their nir previous parties, I don't want them to feel left out or hurt their parent's feelings.
What would you do?

Invite the ones your DD wants for her birthday. By 7 its their call not for parents to make themselves feel better by inviting half the neighbourhood . If the mothers are upset by the fact that your DD is now old enough to choose her own friends they seriously need to get out more.

I should add. DD is quiet and shy and often feels as if she's on the side. She's chosen to invite children who she feels comfortable with.

Why not have a little tea party for the other girls make some cupcakes and let them decorate them or something inexpensive but still a bit special for them all

The other parents should know by now that by age 7, kids choose their own guests...or at least they should do.

I'm sure they'll get over it.

You could consider a 'white lie', saying you had 10 invitations and at least 16 girls you wanted to invite, so had to draw names at random? Only you can judge whether or not you're likely to get caught out though.

FWIW I genuinely did this for ddtwins last party, I don't THINK anyone guessed I'd deliberately dropped the sweet when she was sweet but awful when she got over-excited one.

I did make a point of having all the 'excluded' ones round for tea and a play after school within a week or two.

I would be very careful about desperately trying to make it up to the 'excluded ones'.

1. Because where and when does that sort of thing end?

1. Because part of growing up is learning you're not automatically entitled to everything.

I think sometimes parents worry more about this sort of thing than the kids do.

Well you know you will probably offend them but at some point this happens to all of us over our kids.

I want to keep invites handing out low key and woul be unlikely to do something extra for the others. It's just a bit awkward as dd feels very exclude by these girls sgolig parents ate all lovely.

I think you have to tell DD how many children she can have and let her choose. Sensible parents will realise that friendships go up and down and that with restricted numbers not everyone could come.

I've just had the same thing with DD - she's been invited to loads of parties in the last year and I just can't afford to invite everyone back. She's had to make some hard decisions between equally good friends and I suspect "someone" is offended. I tell myself it all evens out in the end.

I would also add that any reasonable parent should realise that Build a Bear parties don't come cheap and require only a limited number of children

Just invite who your dd wants.
You don't have to justify your party to anyone.
And don't do anything for the other girls.

You can't invite girls your DD isn't comfortable with, you just can't. It's her party!

You invite who she wants...not because you think other parents will be offended.
Most children know that not everyone gets to go to someone's party. Or at least they should...that's why I dislike whole class parties. Why invite people you are not necessarily friends with?? Those who are not invited will get over it. And it's much nicer to have just a handful of special friends who get on well,it makes it all the more special.

If the other mums are reasonable people they wont think twice about their child not being invited.