Stealth put downs or oversensitive me ?

[spiritedaway]

I am a single mum of 4 and constantly get comments from strangers about having my hands full etc. . mildly annoying but not a problem. The thing is school mum friends, who i maybe go to soft play with or bump into on days out will say, in front of my kids, i don't know how you cope, it's my hands worst nightmare, how do you even go for a wee, at least you have the older kids to help etc. I always reply that my kids are well behaved and all sleep well, which they do. Some of their kids sometimes play up but i would not feel at liberty to comment, especially in front of the child. AIBU to feel as if i somehow have less respect as a single mum. It feels like we're an oddity to be commented upon and my eldest 2 feel uncomfortable when this happens. It just singles us out and puts a downer on the outing.

rhonda. . maybe we look like red hot porn stars and not the overworked mummies we see ourselves as. . that must be it!

:-) :-)

No they are not put downs.

I have, at a soft play, said to a mum of triplets "crikey you're outnumbered" in a jokey way as we all tried to squeeze through the giant penguins bit - just something to say really as we were stuck in a confined space :) there was no snipiness intended

thanks . . happy that IABU x

MY two youngest are very close in age and when I took them out in the double buggy I kept getting the 'Oh you have your hands full' comment. I would just reply 'It's better than having empty hands'.

Also DD's best mate is one of 10. Without exception the kids are all polite, helpful, intelligent and popular with their peers. Their mum is a legend and if I'm honest, drums in how petty and stupid most of my moans of knackeredness are.
I never realised it was upsetting or could be misconstrued to be amazed by the wonder of said mothers, but I'll be extra aware now, thanks for the heads up.

I get the same comments about my 4 children. This includes the question about them having the same father. The only difference is that I'm married.

I think people make these kinds of comments for the sake of having something to say, and that it's not because they're judging you for being a single parent.

On evil days I may tell them that in fact ds2 is the postman's child, or that going to the toilet involves removing some clothing and sitting down, but mostly I just smile and nod. :)

But now i am going to take it as a compliment and chill TF out :)

rhonda

That's a common question and to do with risk of pre-eclampsia - it used to be on handheld note but clients didn't like it so a lot of places took it off.

Basically your risk of pre-eclampsia with a new partner becomes that of a first pregnancy (1 in 100) regardless of how many pregnancies you actually have had.

Your cons couldn't give a flying hoot really...

people think if you're a single parent then they have a right to stick their nose in comment about your life

But at a soft play or shop no one knows what background the other mums are from?