another baby at 42?

[MissSueSmith]

Just read another thread about someone who wants and a baby but dh dosent. We are in a slightly differnt situation. My dh is 47 and would happily have another. I think we are too old. We have a 5 and 4 year old.

I always thought I would have a big family and love the idea of another baby BUT I just keep thinking we have been so lucky we have 2 heathy kids - in our (my late thirties) 40s- why risk it. Plus i want holidays abroad and a life post kids - really not pssible on a normal income with 3 kids.

My granny had her 5th at 43 (DC1-4 were 18, 16, 14 and 13). Having 3 is more expensive though, especially when they're older.

I am (a very little bit) younger than you and have been mulling over the same thing. Although its me that's keen and dh (47) who isn't really.

What has put me off are the difficulties conceiving and the high chance of miscarriage. If I was a calmer 'what will be, will be' type person then this may not matter but I'm not and I don't really want to be there pregnancy testing every time my period is late, hoping, imagining pregnancy symptoms etc (was like this with my first 2 - it would be worse this time with big clock counting down).

But of course it is possible. My neighbor had her 4th last year at 43 - after 2 years of trying. But I think you'd have to really want one, do you?

All depends on your feelings and circumstances. Don't decide PURELY based on ages - think about financial provision, health, social expectations and YOUR ethics.

I had DS4 6 weeks before my 44th birthday.
I had a good pregnancy, brilliant labour and delivery (I am not kidding!) and have found the whole looking-after-a-baby-thing no more or less knackering and frustrating and phantastic and exciting than with my previous 3 (I had DS1 aged 37, so was rather a late started ).

I understand your reservations and yes, there is no point in arguing with biology. Certain risks go up with parental age.
However, a, say 1:20 risk is also a 1:19 change of something NOT happening IYSWM.

I had to get over the whole "OMG, I will be 49 when he starts school" thing more tbh.

'Tis a v personal decision - what do you think you'd regrat more in 10years time: having or NOT having another one??

My mum had me and my sister in her forties. It's completely do-able. But you don't sound as if you really, really, want to do it all again.

My mum had me and sis (twins) at 42 ..

You are more likely to have twins as an older Mum :)

I'd give it 6 months of trying [preagreed with dh] and if you arent pregnant by then set it aside and be glad of the dc you have :)

Do you really really want one? I had my second at 43, nearly 44. (we started trying at 42) I'd love another and even two but as well as money and space being against us, in my head, 43 was my top age.

I had my 4th child at 42, it's been fab. Had great pregnancy with elective caesarean due to problems with number 3. She's 5 now and gorgeous, keeps us young. Being 60 when she goes to Uni keeps me awake for some reason!

I had my first at 22 and my last at 42, I was well throughout my pregnancy and dont actually feel any different than I did at 22, if anything being older is better in many ways