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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want justice for my ex husbands violence

9 replies

Kikadee20001 · 25/01/2013 22:02

Hi I would like some advice on what I should do, for years previous to 2011 I was in a dv relationship which I tried repeatedly to report to police but wasn't taken very seriously, there was an additional incident in September 2012 that was taken to court. What I want to know is how can I get justice for what has happened to me for years? He's walking the streets while I'm running away trying to keep away from him but he's contacting my family making accusations about me and I can't stand it any more, I need him to realise now what he has done is unacceptable because he thinks it's ok and even fair to hurt me. As I said I have tried to report it to the police several times there will be records of this but nothing has ever come of it, there were also witnesses, neighbours and friends who saw what was going on, please tell me there is something I can do to protect me and my children from him in the future.

OP posts:
blackeyedsusan · 25/01/2013 22:24

repost this in relationships or legal. you are much more likely to get proper advice there.

have you contacted womens aid or local dv organisation?

AgentZigzag · 25/01/2013 22:29

Would the harassment you're getting from him now be a separate thing to the violence he subjected you to in the past?

Why did the police not do anything about it do you think? Were the incidents which happened previous to 2011 included in the prosecution in for the Sept 2011 incident? (don't know how these things work).

Does he see your children at the minute? (which sounds like a stupid question, but stranger things have happened)

Sunnywithshowers · 25/01/2013 22:34

No advice, but YANBU at all. Best of luck xxx

Hissy · 25/01/2013 22:44

go to the cab, get some advice about harassment.

ultimately, the rage you feel is normal, but it is not too constructive to let it consume you.

can you get some counselling to help you navigate all this?

younhave the right to stop running, for him to leave you alone, and to live with fear.

yanbu love.

FreudiansSlipper · 25/01/2013 22:46

contact women's aid they will advise you what you can do legally or contact the police again is he harassing you? If so report him do you not have a ds contact from the when you went to court?

the freedom programme is a wonderful programme for you to help you move on

sorry honey but you will not get him to see what he is doing is wrong please do not waste your energy trying to concentrate on your life

Kikadee20001 · 25/01/2013 22:48

He's always been a very intense man, he never let me leave him and for a while I always let him get what I want but since the last time I've not let him in so much, it's finally just clicked what a monster he is and he had me fooled I just feel he hasn't got any punishment for what he's done to me and that's not fair

OP posts:
FreudiansSlipper · 25/01/2013 22:55

no it s not fair :(

www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/

lots of help on there. Of course you are feeling angry but use this as much as you can to make changes to your life you are heading in the right direction

Hissy · 25/01/2013 22:57

you living happily will hurt him more than anything.

detach. nothing will be gained by revenge.

i know you hate him, you have every right to.

quoteunquote · 25/01/2013 23:16

www.womensaid.org.uk/

Please contact them, they will help you feel safe.

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