Me again!

[qualitytoffee]

Answer me one thing. I've been on my own since my son was 3 months old. i work full time, pay the mortgage bills etc, i was married, but he left me for my best friend.
I moved back home, and its just me and my Son, we're happy we get on (he's almost 17) and hes happy and secure.
Now, i get a phone call, not from him, but from his grandparents on the paternal side, who have taken no interest in him for 17 years. They are old and they want to see him.
Now.
I don't know what to do, i seriously don't. I want my Son to be happy and he has every right to know these eejets, but he has to come first, his happiness and emotional welfare are paramount to me.
I don't know what to do thats right.

I'm going to go against the grain a wee bit here.

One of my siblings split with their spouse years ago when DC were young.
And it was actually a relatively amicable split.

But my folks lost out in that the other grandparents were there day in, day out.

The PIL were favoured over my parents and it was made very difficult for my folks to see the GCS.

They are just decent folk who got caught up in the flack, and now, they have little contact with those grandchildren because they were effectively cold-shouldered when the grandchildren were young.

I do know you said these people were toxic, I understand. But if your DS doesn't know them then he is making a decision based on his loyalty to you?

It's hard OP isn't it?

Oh, and my sibling tried hard to sort things so that my folks saw the children. But in those days, it was mostly one parent who had the majority of residency so my siblings ex held most of the cards.

Sounds like you've got a lovely boy to be proud off. Think this is the perfect occasion for the old MN favourite.... Tell them he said to fuck off to the far side of fuck and to stay there. Good luck. [bgrin]

Salmotrutta xxx

I completely understand where you're coming from pet, but if my Son changes his mind, in the future, i'll support him.

Honestly? They are very toxic people. They honestly have (or had) no feelings towards their previous grandchildren. I remember when i lived in England, my MIL took a hissy fit because she wasn't allowed to smoke in the house where her other daughter in law had a new born. They drove up to me and gave off about it, she stormed out.

So while i get you, i have done what i had to do, and thats it.