To be in two minds about Everyday Sexism

[lurkedtoolong]

If you are on Twitter you may know about a feed called Everyday Sexism which documents the everyday sexism that women face such as workplace harassment or abuse on the streets and so on. Part of me thinks that it's great that there's a voice that is highlighting what women are putting up with on a regular basis and giving women the confidence to speak out against the harassment.

There's another part of me that worries that it's creating a victim culture. I'm quite confident normally and go out to cafes/theatre/cinema on my own without worrying but since reading the feed I've seen evil leering men everywhere (in my own mind that is). Was in the cinema the other day and a couple of young guys came and sat next to me and I started to panic - what if one of them said something or touched me? I've never felt like that before. Nothing happened and then I felt a bit guilty because I had pigeon holed these guys based on a Twitter stream...

So - a useful way to highlight the sexism that women face or hysteria? Or do I just have an over-active imagination?

If it affects you stop reading it.

A swift "Fuck off" or a slap would have sufficed I expect.

I think it's an extremely powerful way of opening eyes to what women put up with every day

I think it's a good way of highlighting how far we've still got to go.

Unfollow it if you're finding it causes you problems!

I agree with bigkidsdidit I sometimes panic like that too, but I think that's because of my own personal experiences. Seems like the twitter is making you a little paranoid, probably better if you didn't read it.

It doesn't 'create' victim culture. It reports it.
I think it is great and really engages young women in feminism.

I follow it and i don't follow much other stuff, so it tends to overwhelm my feed. But i do think it's important, and 'unfollowing' would be like 'looking away' if you see what i mean?

A lot of their tweets are re-tweets from strong, professional women sharing their experience and sometimes making a weary joke about it - so it's not necessarily always a feeling of a defeated victim telling the story - you know?

Was in the cinema the other day and a couple of young guys came and sat next to me and I started to panic - what if one of them said something or touched me? I've never felt like that before. Nothing happened and then I felt a bit guilty because I had pigeon holed these guys based on a Twitter stream...

^ that comment made my jaw drop in absolute horror

I follow it and agree with the point it makes, but do sometimes scroll through the re-tweets quite rapidly if my mind is full of other priorities. Each individual person who is re-tweeted is probably glad to have been "heard" by some people, though. I like to think that, rather than promoting a victim culture, it enables women to heal and feel stronger and more self-assured.

Oh - and if this OP is really a veiled question to fish for agreement that the 'everyday sexism' campaign promotes hysteria and is Feminism Gone Mad - i would have to post a less polite answer.

I think it's vital that women get the chance to speak out about their experiences, and good that there's an outlet for it. And it's important politically to point out that sexist things still happen regularly.

BUT I think on any subject, reading a lot of stories about horrible things happening can make you feel jaded, distrustful or fearful; the same thing happens if I spend a long time on the relationships board on mumsnet, or reading the crime stories in the local paper. So I think it's better to stop reading it so often if it's starting to affect you in that way.

Undertone - definitely not a veiled question or in any way looking for agreement that Feminism has Gone Mad, at all. Your previous answer hit on the exact struggle I face with the feed. I get that the easy answer to something that makes you feel uncomfortable or distrustful is to stop reading it but at the same time by unfollowing the feed it would be looking away from something quite important.

I guess because I've been lucky (?) enough not to face the harassment that is featured I'm now hyperaware of it and looking for it round every corner. I just wonder if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe AIBU isn't best place for this conversation, just been thinking about it for a few days.

I know what you mean OP. I had something similar in a way when I started to read about sociopaths when I left my abusive ex. I felt that it was important that I arm myself with knowledge so read everything I could - but it made my anxiety rocket and I started to get paranoid. I even saw a therapist my anxiety got so bad, who advised me to just stop reading.

Step away if it's affecting you negatively. You can always follow again if you want to.

I also follow this and several other feminist blogs so find myself getting affected by the sheer injustice of it all often so I know what you mean. If it started affecting me to the extent of making me anxious or paranoid I would have to step away for a while.

"at the same time by unfollowing the feed it would be looking away from something quite important."

I really get why you feel that way, I do too sometimes, but we do not have a moral obligation to learn about every wrong in the world. Where would it stop? You could spend a whole lifetime reading stories about horrible things that have happened to people, it wouldn't do them any good and would make you miserable. Listen enough that your opinions and actions are informed, but know when to step away too. Focus on one small manageable thing you can change, like helping one specific person, or supporting a local charity or campaign.