Is this fair or are school BU?

[M0naLisa]

At the end of each term 'good' children in school get to attend something called a 'no stage' party.

In each class there is a happy face and a sad face on the whiteboards.

Children who have been naughty go on sad face
Children who are good and do things extra special like helping with tidying and been friendly get to go on happy face.

Those children during the term that have been on sad face are denied an invitation to the no stage party. They have to sit in class and do work.

My 4yr old was put on sad face on Monday for talking when teacher was talking.

Now he's upset that he won't be able to go to the party that his friends and brother will be going to.

Is this being harsh for 4yr olds? Or reasonable?

All this talk about punishing young children is giving me the creeps.

Does seem a little harsh - I agree that the transgression is better punished more immediately and then forgotten / reset. Imagine if I stayed angry with DH for 6 WEEKS that he had a little too much to drink the night before it was my turn for a precious lie in and I ended up getting up whilst he had a long conversation on the porcelain toilet.

Also just a question - is it good for a child to always be good?? Smacks of someone who is so in awe of someone in a position of authority that they will bow to anything and really fear disappointing them. I doubt it will do them any good in the long run. I know neither I nor DH would have got where we are without being able to challenge authority. I know it's different when you are a child because you don't have the skills to do it more tactfully but I'm not sure I would that thrilled if my DS got through an entire term without doing it once!!! Rebel without a cause

is it good for a child to always be good

I don't think so. Not if it's always.

In my experience young school or older pre school children who never talk when they shouldn't, never take longer doing anything than they are supposed to, never make a mess etc, are the children who appear to be anxious quite a lot of the time.

There have even been times when working with these young children that we have been really pleased to see a child 'misbehave'. They tend to be the children whose parents put a lot of pressure on them to be 'good' all the time, or ocassionaly they have been children with mild SEN who have found it hard to settle into school environments.

imo it seems to long to wait- r u sure one sad face dooms you for the whole term? sanctions need to happen much quicker. he could talk on the carpet every day now-what has he got to lose?
speaking as a teacher it's harder and harder to reprimand a child. A stern voice is seen as "Miss shouted at me" and will bring an angry parent to your classroom door.
A colleague was accused of calling a child a name. The name was "chatterbox"

The thing is the sad face list is wiped every day at the end of the day ready for a clean sad face the next day. I'm guessing its wrote down in a book who has been on the sad face over the term and given to the head teacher.

Spoke to ds2 teacher today and she confirmed he will NOT receive an invitation for the party at end of term in February because of this one incident of talking!!!

Did she say anything else? Did she tell you that she had warned your son before he was put under the sad face, or that she has had to tell him off on enough other occasions prior to this one?

There must be more to this.

I work in a primary school (TA) and before that put in quite a few hours as a volunteer. I just cannot imagine any teacher / school being this harsh at such a young age and exclude a young child for one incident of talking.

I will be very sad if this is indeed the case and would be considering if this is the right place for my child.

But, again, I just cannot see this as being all there is to it...

He talked twice whilst on the carpet. She told him once and put him on the sad face.

incredibly crap.

I would speak to the head, as i am not sure there would be many kids at the party.

She said a few would not be attending and it woul be a normal day for the ones not attending.

Still think its harsh for reception kids. Maybe from yr 1 have a one strike an your out but not reception

Too harsh, although, did he merely forget not to talk and talked the second time on the carpet or did he purposely disobey her?
My gut feeling, seeing as he is only four, is on the former and as such the punishment is way to hard.
How do other parents feel about it?

Because it strikes me, particularly for the older children, that if they get put on the sad face and banned from the party at the start of the half term there is no incentive to remain good for the rest of the term as they are banned from the party regardless. So this behaviour management policy seems utterly ill-thought out!