AIBU to be upset/hurt about this?

[jester68]

Hi all.

Will try to keep short but will most probably end up rambling on!

On the way back from doing school run this morning I bumped into a "friend"?

She said she had to go somewhere and could I pick up her children after school. Said it would only be for an hour or 2 (5pm at latest) and either she would pick them up or her ex would.

She seemed desperate so I said fine. Asked if any problems etc could she let me know. She has my mobile number/house number or could just send a message on face book if needs be.

Anyway I picked all the children up. 4.30 came and kids were all hungry. So I made up ham/cheese sandwiches for them all, grapes,cake. They all tucked in well.

5 came and went with no-one arriving. Their dad finally collected them at 6.25. This was after no communication about being late etc.

So off they went with their dad. Must admit I was annoyed that the arrangement we made was not stuck to and no-one even thought to let me know what was happening.

Carried on doing my usual evening routine of bathing the kids, supper, story and bed.

NOW have just gone onto face book and received a message from my so called friend. Says- "I am disgusted that you did not even bother to give the kids a proper cooked tea. After a hard day I now have had to come back and cook for them. Would have thought it would be common decency to feed children properly if you are looking after them"

No thank you. No sorry for picking them up late. Just abuse about not cooking them any food instead giving sandwiches.

Pissed off is an understatement but also feel hurt.

There was no agreement about cooking tea. I did provide food.
Kids all have hot school dinners so have had a hot meal today.
No complaints from the kids anyway.
They were bloody late picking them up with no contact at all.

AAAAHHHHH So AIBU to feel like a bloody mug????

Good woman!

You can face it tomorrow because you've done absolutely nothing wrong! She should be embarrassed, not you!

Jester

Even if she did tell anyone how horrible you are do, trust me they will just be thinking what a twat she is not you! So don't worry. They will just be thinking what a piece of work she is. By bitching about you she will really be tarnishing her own reputation, not yours.

Look at the reaction you have had on the thread. Everyone in RL will say the same!

So hold your head up high. You have done nothing wrong.

My partner is back from working away now. He is angry about what she did/said.

I know I will be fine.

I would be telling her to stick it up her fucking jumper!

Thanks for all the replies. I was worried for a little bit that I had done the wrong thing by not offering a cooked meal.

I obviously would not let them go hungry- hence why I provided sandwiches etc

I can't believe that woman. Personally I plan our food and, depending on what day of the week it was I just wouldn't have had the food to randomly feed extra mouths except possibly a sandwich. Today definitely would have been one of those days.

She is unbelievably rude. If someone does you a favour you write and say thanks. Stand up for yourself tomorrow, don't bitch but just state the facts.

You should reply that you charge extra for hot meals, 10 pounds/hour. For the snack tea she only owes you 5/hour, plus an extra 5 pound for each 15 minutes they were late picking up

I really wouldn't worry about what she may or may not say you said, anybody with half a brain would be able to see through the stupidity of why she would say.

We plan our meals too. And with my partner been working away obviously have not brought a lot as kids have hot school dinners so been having things like soup and crusty bread etc.

But have run short now as doing another shop tomorrow

YANBU, you gave her kids a proper meal, there is nothing wrong with sandwiches for tea. But that is not the point, she should have said thank you and sorry for the late pick up not posting what she did on fb.

Keep away from her.

stif that is exactly what I would say too.
How fucking rude OP!!!!! Please don't be intimidated by her, you have the wrath of mumsnet behind you.

Lessons in common decency wrt childcare :

1. If someone does you a childcare favour at short notice you say "thank you"
2. If you make a childcare arrangement you pick up said children at the agreed time.
3. If you are going to be late, you contact the person doing the favour, explain why, how late you are going to be and apologise.
4. You use facebook to re-iterate the "thank you" you should have already made and additionally comment on given the late pick up how nice it was for you to feed the children.
5. You offer to return the favour.
6. You are disgusted by anyone not conforming to points 1 to 5 above.

she's a weirdo. and bad mannered. tell her to get someone else to look after her children in future.

YANBU
You have done nothing wrong. You did her a favour and she has responded despicably. You can your head high. Everyone probably knows what she is like anyway.

What a bloody cheek!!
I hope you've told her what you've said above?

oh my god what a nasty piece of work. She should be thankful you collected her children and fed them. I would have given her a piece of my mind

She'd have probably moaned if you had fed them a cooked tea that she'd wasted food by already cooking for them...

Agree with the others - cheeky cow who doesn't deserve friends like you who do what you did for her at short notice

And who starts cooking a meal for children who are due to be picked up 'any minute'? She sounds like a fruit loop - pity her children will probably suffer because of her appalling attitude, so if you're going to cut ties then maybe you should point out that nobody will want to have them over if she can't keep a civil tongue in her head about the arrangements.

its not often I say this ith 100% certainity but yanbu. Hold your head high, you have done nothing wrong. What a bitch!

She's a selfish selfish inconsiderate so and so.

Wow!! What a cow.

What a bitch.

Especially with depression and anxiety, you are better without her in your life.

If anyone asks you what happened, tell them honestly.

She's dishonest as well. She must have known they wouldn't be picked up at 5. As Dojo says, what cook a proper meal in 30 minutes.

Oh ffs.

My exdh did this to my childminder a couple of times, but this incident doesn't sound genuine to me.

YANBU. I think you should withdraw any future favours.

What a rude cow

Why would you give them a hot meal when you're expecting them to be picked up a any minute AND she didn't ask you to feed them? I think what you did was absolutely fine and she should be thanking you not harassing you!

We all run late at times, but she or her ex should have contacted you to let you know they were delayed. Although it sounds as if they knew they wouldn't really be there by 5pm and were taking advantage of your good nature.

I'd put her right and tell her next time she wants free after hours childcare with a hot meal to find someone else. And if you catch anyone gossiping about it then put them right as well.

If you need to talk to someone, PM me.

No, you are not in any way BU.

If she does tell anyone else this, I bet they will laugh, tbh, it is HER that is being unreasonable, rude and ungrateful.

Perhaps cook a lovely hot meal (preferably made with red wine) and then pour it through her letterbox!