To want to have my childrens beds out of my old house but can't because my ex is being aqward?!

[Mommof2]

Ok so I left my husband, it werent nasty at first, but I couldnt stay with him because we had just changed too much and I felt we grew apart.

I am with someone new but so is he, now when I left because I felt guilty I left the home and all the things I had helped pay for over the years and had nothing.

Since then he has stopped me going in the house even to collect my personal belongings, I cant see my dog either. He has also moved the stuff into his new girlfriends home, which i excepted because I werent around.

But the issue now is, I need new beds for my kids, I want their own bunkbeds in the old house but he wont give them me.He said what are the kids meant to stop on when they stop there. Well they stop with him every Friday but he stops at his girlfriends with them now and they sleep on an air bed!

Can people please tell me if IABU to ask for them back?

It sounds like you have been split up for a while. What have your kids been sleeping on?

They are sleeping in a double bed that was given to me by my uncle as I have had no money to start getting new things. Only they cant stop in the same beds forever, it seems silly to get new ones when the ones they had are not being used.

YANBU to ask. Have you come to any sort of agreement with him over splitting your joint assets? If he refuses to let you have your personal belongings and won't discuss splitting furniture etc, you probably need to seek legal advice.

Is there solicitor involved? And are you named on house deeds/rental agreement? If so he can't stop you accessing the house afaik. Ask your solicitor to write to him requesting division of property.

Good luck

Fish?

And I have tried talking to him but there is no reasoning with him, my mom has even text on my behalf but he dont text back. I no I will have to seek legal help but I guess I really didnt want it to get to this :(

Thank you Hegsy

It isn't 'stop', it's 'stay'. Gets very confusing.

Yes, I think you have no option now but to take legal advice.

Thank you for the helpful people who answer, yeah I have no choice now.

As an aside, and if you don't mind my asking, are you on any benefits?

Only a budgeting loan may be an alternative, if you are

click here

I was going to ask about benefits. You won't get a lot of help from them as your children have somewhere to sleep even though its not ideal. Roughly what area are you in? There are some areas that have places to buy really cheap furniture in situations such as yours, you only have to pay a token amount.

Oh yes, the furniture projects. That's an option.

Thank you and yes I am on housing benefit as I work part time too, I dont mind asking for a bit of help when it is needed, but I just dont see why more money should be spent when the ones in the old house are sitting there doing nothing.

I understand what you are saying but it will take so long for anything to go to court regarding your possessions and he sounds like he won't willingly give them to you that you maybe should look into the alternatives for the meantime.

Yeah you are right, I feel a fool now really leaving the home and leaving him with everything, but you do things when you feel bad dont you.

They are only things, they will be replaced over time. It sounds like you were desperate to get out and you did your best at the time. Don't beat yourself up about what you think you should have done, all you can do is deal with whats happening now.

Thank you Missy I have had a hell of a couple of years and I guess I just wanted to handle things like adults. Just thought really is it me being so mean to ask for them back. But maybe this isnt a war that needs to be faught right now.

I have known men who do things like your ex is doing. They seem to get some sort of a kick from still having that bit of control. YANBU to want them back, you weren't being unfair in asking, but an adult situation will only happen if you are both behaving like adults. He isn't, and he is using this situation to piss you off. In your shoes I think I would write the beds off and leave him to his games. You already did the hardest part by leaving.

I no, I feel sad he has turned like this as even though we weren't compatable he was never a horrible person. But I will write off the beds and see what I can do. I just hope one day he see's what he has become.