to sometimes think that SAHMs are "living the dream" and really envy them

[Fizzler99]

Ok so I don't have kids yet.

I work ridiculously long hours (as in out the house 6.30am-8pm minimum and often work late nights and weekends too). I have a long commute each way (can't afford to live where I work as property so expensive) and the job is very, very high stress. I earn a decent wage, but I am quite junior so I'm not on mega-money despite what my friends and family seem to think

I don't intend to keep this job forever, but I need to establish myself in my choosen career then I can hopefully 'down-grade' to something less stressful.

One of my colleagues has just given up work to become a SAHM. It just sounds like living the dream. No more waiting on cold station platforms for delayed trains at 6.30am, no more hideous commute, no more stressful job and nagging boss and office politics, no more late night working and surviving on takeaway or the contents of the office vending machine for weeks at a time. I am so jealous!

Please give me a much-needed reality check. Please tell me the reality of being a SAHM. For those of you that have gone from having a quite high-flying career to SAHM, please tell me how the two compare. I think I really need a reality check!

[Summerblaze]

I agree MrsKoala.

My DD was an angel. Slept through the night very early, and slept during the day for a good 4 hours too. I could take her anywhere and she kept herself amused while I did the housework so we could do stuff together in the afternoon. Having her was so much easier than going to work.

Then.......DS arrived. He is HARD WORK. He had severe glue ear which finally got sorted out 6 months ago at 4.5. He is developmentally delayed because of this. Going out with him around the shops is a nightmare as I need to keep hold of him as he will just bolt but he is really strong so I am physically knackered after an hour round the supermarket. I couldn't wait for him to go to school just so that I could get some jobs around the house done during the day. He is amazing in lots of ways but work would be easier in his case.

[Arisbottle]

MrsKoala, in no way do I have the hardest job in the world, for a start I have 12 weeks off a year and every weekend free. But IME it was harder than being a SAHP

[Badvoc]

My last job was a total doss and therefore i hated it.
It was boring.
Repetitive but paid very well (in academia)
Being the first time mum of a very poorly baby and infant is by far the hardest, most terrifying thing I have ever experienced.
I don't really understand why there's such competitive angst over this..."my life is so much harder than yours, my life is so much more important than yours" etc
Boring.
And smug.
Whichever sided he argument you are on.

[Arisbottle]

I am trying to claim any kind of moral high ground, if anything I am a bit daft not to take the easier option .

[Summerblaze]

Hardly the same...scottishmummy.

Your pov is that you are right. I am saying that you are right but so am I and everyone else is right as it is their choice. Can't see how I am contradicting myself.

janey..... the job I had wasn't at all hard and still isn't as I visit my old place of work and know the lady who took her job back after maternity leave. This isn't to say that there aren't any hard jobs but not all of them are.

[scottishmummy]

let me spell it out for you
you took offence and at my post.apparently I should be more supportive
you showed me your support by calling me a twat. making self look bit silly

[MrsKoala]

My last job was really hard because i wasn't allowed to punch people who screamed abuse at me. This job is hard because my boss keeps vomiting on me. swings and roundabouts really.

[Summerblaze]

If you say so.....

[scottishmummy]

alark,working by definition means you're not sahm
you'd be a part time worker
working in employment regardless of hours means you work,not housewife

[Arisbottle]

Sorry I am NOT trying to claim any moral high ground, for starters I couldn't be bothered to climb up there , never mind hang around.

[achillea]

I do think it's sad that people don't appreciate the things they gain when they look after children, like I said earlier, you find out all sorts of strengths and capabilities when you look after children that no training, job or qualification could teach you. The process of dedicating yourself to your children even just for a short while is quite unique. It is a kind of a journey you take. And you learn where you really fit - what you want from life. Everything is turned upside down but when the dust settles it all makes sense.

MrsKoala - are you a carer? Why the vomit?

[scottishmummy]

that read like clintons cards, find your inner unicorn,discover your goddess

[MrsKoala]

ha! no sorry achi, i was being un funny. i meant ds is my boss now. i was comparing shit things about my old job in a call centre to shit things about my new job as a sahm.

i agree tho i have changed so much since ds. i feel as tho i am finally grown up.

[suebfg]

Being a SAHM isn't for everyone. I love going to work (although I work part-time). I like having my own independence, enjoy being in the office and achieving things outside out of the home. I wouldn't change it for the world.

[MrsKoala]

and i am riding around on my inner unicorn as i type. :)

[janey68]

Achillea- I see what you are saying, but what I find sad and a little ironic is that the people on this thread who fit your description - finding it diffiicult to experience the joy and wonder in parenting, are the SAHM who by their own admission are depressed, or bored and finding it all a grind.

I concur with what you say that being a parent is an amazing wondrous journey - but that is a separate issue from working or not.

[MrsKoala]

omg i just googled inner unicorn and it actually is a real actual thing! haha

[MrsKoala]

i realise my last 2 posts my have contradicted my assertion that i am 'finally grown up'

[achillea]

You're supposed to google words before you use them Koala!

[scottishmummy]

I made inner unicorn up,on hoof so to speak.hope some hippy moon goddess hasn't stolen it
Im imaging all the knit your own yoghurt hemp goddesses with inner unicorns

[achillea]

Janey there are probably as many working women feeling bad that they can't be at home with their children as there are SAHMs feeling sad that they aren't working. And they all come together on mumsnet and start a bunfight.

[achillea]

for scottishmummy - apparently it's a Glee thing.

[MrsKoala]

google it scottish, you can get t shirts and everything.

[scottishmummy]

stupick to finding deep feelings,and inner unicorns
your factual assertions are way off
I've never felt guilt about nursery use or working ft.why would I?