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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed at DH's cousin

32 replies

MrsLDTE · 24/01/2013 10:17

Im 6+4 with DC1 so haven't announced my pg yet but DH's cousin (who is only 17) has just announced she is 10wks pg with DC2, I know it was unintentional but I feel like she's stolen my thunder :( I know I'm BU but has anyone else felt unreasonably annoyed at someone elses pg announcement?

OP posts:
Joiningthegang · 24/01/2013 19:01

Yabu - but are hormonal so it doesnt count

exoticfruits · 24/01/2013 19:10

I don't even see where you are coming from-I can't see that it matters.

OTTMummA · 24/01/2013 19:37

I found out i was nearly 6 months pregnant 3 months after SIL announced her planned pregnancy, i could tell she wasn't happy, but wtf did she want me to do?
I felt bad and couldn't enjoy my pregnancy, i was very depressed and quite hysterical, not prepared, and having someone positivly sneer and cold shoulder you at family events doesn't make you feel joyful about your impending new arrival.

You could try and form a bond with your cousin over this, maybe become a positive influence, you never know she may be able to help/advise you in some way,,, seeing as she has done this before.

MammaTJ · 24/01/2013 20:06

OK, what happened to me was I had three miscarriages, each one followed by the anouncement of my sisters pregnacy. (I did have three babies later on but the heartbreak was unbearable)

Maybe that will put everything into perspective for you.

PuffPants · 24/01/2013 20:14

How old are you OP? Is your DH's cousin a big part of your life? Surely your pregnancy will matter more to your own parents, siblings and extended family?

Regarding her being 17, I do think that, for most people, being onto your second baby whilst still a minor is not exactly ideal.

Booyhoo · 24/01/2013 20:25

what pictish said.

and of course i would congratulate someone who was celebrating becoming pregnant. regardless of age.

DontmindifIdo · 24/01/2013 20:34

OP - you might find that your pregnancy (assuming you are older, more settled) is more celebrated than hers. You are about to be a family, your DH is going to be a family man, you are, I assume, having a baby you can afford and are able between you to raise, this is a thing to be celebrated.

You might find if she's got no job, and is known to behave recklessly, then the rest of DH's family might look at this pregnancy as a problem and a burden for them all, that as much as they publicly coo over scan pictures and sympathise about her morning sickness and sore boobs etc, they might be thinking "shit, how much help is she going to need? How much childcare will we be expected to do? She's going to be a single mum of 2 before she's old enough to buy a round, she's not going to be able to do this, we'll all have to rally round and do it for her." (even if she does turn out to be a super mother when the time comes)

You on the other hand, aren't having a 'problem' the family might have to solve, there's no nagging doubt in the back of their minds that this will be something that have to 'fix' they can sit back and enjoy yours and DH's joy. They can take the grandparent/great aunt/uncle roles without feeling they have to actually do any parenting or fund it.

If anything, you might find when you announce, she feels you are stealing her thunder.

Plus, how often do you see your DH's extended family? I only see DH's aunts and uncles at weddings, funnerals and christenings. This will be your PIL's grandchild, grandchild beats great niece/nephew any day of the week!

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