to want to wake DH up every time he snores?

[wewereherefirst]

I'm desperately trying to sleep between the numerous wake ups of DS2 but I can't get to sleep because DH is bloody snoring. I've taken blankets into the front room and I'm trying to sleep but I can still hear him.

He went to the doctors who prescribed him some tablets which did help, but he won't take them as they're too expensive to keep using, even though the DC and I all have disturbed sleep because of his foghorn sounds.

Roll on his night shifts, even though DS2 wakes a lot I feel so much fresher when he's not here!

AIBU to spend the time I'm awake prodding him to wake him up so that he can feel my bloody annoyance.?

YANBU. I am a very light sleeper and suffer from anxiety insomnia to boot. One of my deal breakers with men is if they snore. I made sure before dh and I got married he didn't snore.

I previously dealt with someone's awful snoring and it was awful. That anticipation that he was going to snore because it was sporadic was terrible. Never again.

lolol...my Xh use to claim, "I'm not snoring".... GRRR... So glad my current partner doesn't snore!!! Push him to his side...by yourself ear plugs?

Ugh, hearing someone snoring while you lie awake is the worst. I do the pillow-yank; pull the pillow out from under his snoring face in one quick sharp move. Often doesn't wake him but stops the snoring! HA!

Snoring is always worse when he's had a few drinks, been smoking, or is really tired. Or lies on his back. Or wears sweater or hoodie to bed. Or has a cold. Gnnnnrrrrrr......

YABU. He does not snore AT WILL. Your dh, obviously, has a medical problem. Would you kick him if he had the flu and was vomiting all night? Waking him during the night will ensure that he is not well rested the next morning and may be at risk of having an accident due to a lack of alertness. His lifespan could be shortened due to a lack of restorative sleep. The proper thing to do is get him some help and to stop being so selfish.

Why is it up to her to get him some help? Can't he take responsibility for his own health? What about her own lack of restorative sleep?

FFS. Some people are determined to (s)mother their partners.

Totally sympathise mine is the same.

The ironic thing is that if not taking these tablets meant that HE lost out on sleep and not you he wouldn't think they were too expensive.

I am only 11 weeks pregnant and still use ear plugs which help, but obviously you can't do this and I won't be able to when my baby comes along. I have told him he has to fix it, but he is in no rush. :-(

Cattle prod? I find 8,000 volts does the trick, nicely.

He needs referral to a sleep clinic and assessment for Obstructive Sleep Apnoea. If his snoring is as bad as you say (and I have no doubt it is) then chances are he is not ever getting a good nights sleep and might well be tired everyday. A high percentage of people who snore have OSA and its easily treated with a CPAP machine and mask.

YANBU btw .....nothing worse than a snorer.....my exH was ready to kill me most nights.

I am not sure severity of snoring correlates with obstructive sleep apnea. The ENT surgeon we saw for DH's snoring was able to rule it out based on a few questions and he is the worst snorer you can imagine. (She also sadly told him after examining him with a camera in his nose/throat that she could do very expensive, painful surgery but she had no idea whether it would help, so no help in sight for us. It's earplugs and the couch for us. I sometimes even need earplugs even if one of us sleeps on another floor.)

Teapot13 how could OSA be ruled out if no sleep study was done? That doctor sounds like a quack.

Sleep Apnea (and the severity thereof) is determined by oxygen levels and the number of breathing interruptions or waking episodes during the night.

YANBU.

When I was young and into the whole travelling malarkey, I nearly came home early because of the other bastard snorers in the backpackers and hostels

OP YANBU! I live with a terrible snorer and it's a nightly nightmare. DD is on the ASD and has bad nights so between the pair I can manage a couple of hours sleep a night. I get cross with DH as he COULD do something about it but doesn't.

The other night after having been up and down and reading to DD, getting milk, after DH had woken her, and I couldn't get her back to sleep I went back to bed for a break and DH gave the hugest snore and I woke him up by almost yelling at him! He accused me of almost giving him a heart attack.....after the number of times he wakes both of us!

I can seriously understand how a snoring partner can directly lead to divorce. I'd rather he sleep on floor in DD's room and she sleep with me. He snores less and we can both sleep better!

You can get those electric collars with a remote control for dog training, they might work on husbands too...just saying!

YANBU, push him over onto his side, or wake him up so he does it. Also what about a prepayment certificate for his tablets, that will help with the cost, if they are on prescription.

Snoring can make you fell murderous, lots of sympathy!

He does not snore AT WILL... His lifespan could be shortened due to a lack of restorative sleep.

So poor op's dh shouldn't lose any sleep but it's fine for OP to be constantly woken up? He don't snore at will but he doesn't take the medication that stops him snoring AT WILL.

Catchingmockingbirds my point is that this is not a cosmetic or lifestyle issue. It could be a bone fide life threatening condition. Nothing lighthearted about a person having a heart attack during their sleep due to lack of oxygen, whilst their partner sulks and complains about the noise affecting their quality of life - but fails to see the urgency of the situation.

"gravity" is a better word than urgency ...

He can take the pills but choses not to. The OP isn't sulking about a bit of noise, she's complaining about lack of sleep which is a big issue according to your post at 9.11;

"Waking him during the night will ensure that he is not well rested the next morning and may be at risk of having an accident due to a lack of alertness. His lifespan could be shortened due to a lack of restorative sleep."

My husband snores too. It's crap isn't it? I've found the only way to get some sleep is to go to bed before him, so when he does come up I'm blissfully unaware of his snoring. If I wake up during the night and he's snoring I nudge him a few times or stroke his head depending on how I feel at that time. Most times it's a proddy nudge.

He also sleeps in the spare room a few times a week.

Earplugs?

If it's really severe, then snoring is not a joke, it raises the risk of all kinds of horrible things. My husband was a snorer, really bad, and I would hear it stop, then start with a really loud snort/splutter. I managed with ear plugs, sleeping separately for a while (much better than keeping two people awake, especially if with a small child). Moving position didn't make any difference, so giving him a shove was more out of my own annoyance than anything and not acceptable for him when he couldn't help it.

In the end, he had three sleep studies (one showed nothing, but that is because the NHS is crap, I knew he had sleep apnoea). He had terrible sleep apnoea and his oxygen levels were very low at night, so he now uses a CPAP machine. The NHS won't give you one just for snoring, but you could try getting one privately, or if you think he has sleep apnoea, definitely go to the GP and ask firmly for a sleep study, don't be fobbed off with 'lose weight' as people with sleep apnoea are so tired, they often find it difficult to exercise anyway.

The pills are a diversion, because I am not sure what kind of pills cure snoring (it wasn't one of the options we ever were offered). He may not like taking them if they make him sleepy the next day. Usually the choices are surgery, one of the over the counter remedies (nasal strips) or a CPAP machine, or simply adjusting your life to accept he snores, so buying a proper bed/sofa and planning to sleep on it/him to sleep on it half the week.

Poor sleep is terrible for everyone, but I can't believe how many people moan about it, but don't do simple things like get two duvets, see the GP, sleep in separate rooms part of the time or get ear plugs. Prodding him all night every night is not a solution.

Agree with Mumsyblouse about everything - especially about the pills. What's that about? Never heard of pills that cure snoring.

I used to wear earplugs when my DP snored before we had children, but that is not a practical solution when you have small children you need to listen out for. Especially as my DP never hears the DCs when they need something in the night. It really is a terrible situation to be in, I can sympathise.

You have my total and utter sympathy. DH snores so badly he recently perforated my ear drum!! However...he now has a CPAP machine. Its bliss I tell you, utter bliss! You need to go with him to the GP and ask for a referral to a sleep clinic. In our case it took two sleep studies - he was borderline first time, then a higher score the second time. I can honestly say it has changed our lives. He has much more energy, I have much more energy.. And he used to be so loud he could be heard all over the house, even when I turned the TV up and up and up!!