To get annoyed with how FIL picks up my 2 and 4 yo's

[blueberry1972]

By just the hands, throws them in the air then catches them. They don't seem to mind but I worry about their arm sockets. I have hinted with wincing and saying "ow" but its just ignored. We're going away with my in laws in a few weeks time and I need to know if I'm being OTT and should just ignore it.

Those of you with kids who like being spun just stand them in front of you facing away and put your arms under their armpits and round their chest, then spin them. Their legs will spin and you will both still get nice and dizzy without any risks of dislocation!

Definitely tell him - my niece had loads of dislocations due to weak arm tendons, all avoidable, but most people automatically pull/lift a child by their hands so it just kept happening.
Worst one was when she was 4 and her great-grandmother pulled her up from the floor by her hand (gently) - promptly dislocated her shoulder and was terrified of her GGM for years!
She eventually grew out of it by 6, so I should be very aware, but I still have to remind myself not to pull/swing DS by his hands.

DD1 has had three trips to a&e euthanasia dislocated elbow. From simple pulling movements each time.

I hate seeing young kids being swung around by their arms. Apparently after 5 the joints firm up a little more. DD is 5 now so fingers crossed.

YANBU - tell him not to do it and why. I'm sure you can google more info.

I was going to say dislocation risk, ds1 had his dislocated and they couldn't get it back in, we were backwards and forwards to the hospital for three days!. Before they got it back in. Was awful.

Euthanasia????? Wtf did that come from??

Euthanasia does seem a little extreme, even for a FIL you don't get on with!

damn you autocorrect!

I knew a little girl who ended up in hospital as her elbow was damaged by someone swinging her round - the hospital said it is VERY common and kids should be picked up under their arms.

My Granny dislocated my mum's elbow twice when she was a little girl by pulling her arm (not in a bad way! I think one she tripped on the stairs, Granny grabbed her arm and it dislocated)
Anyway, she would always wince when she saw people swinging their children by the arms and it stuck with me - I've never done that with DS.
I did used to spin him like YourHandInMyHand describes but he's too heavy now and would probably risk injuring myself!

With DD1 it happened as follows:

1. Friend gave her arm a pull while playing.
2. Friend gave her arm a pull - as in come this way - It was on my due date for dd2, at a royal wedding party & everyone had been drinking. Had to call an ambulance.
3. I helped her remove her hoodie and gently pulled it off her arm as we were walking along - this time DD2 was about 6 weeks old, DD1 couldn't walk and I couldn't carry her, we were at the park and it required another trip in an ambulance.

It's really painful & her arm goes floppy at her side. She goes very quiet (unless she is screaming when she moves). I dread to think of the agony she would have been in if the dislocation happened while she was being swung around.

Another dislocated elbow here when DD2 was just under 2, actually caused by her older sister pulling her over a chair. The A and E doctor told me it's also very commonly caused by parents pulling reluctant kids by one arm over a road - ie more forcibly than usual. It's the angle of pull when the child is small- up rather than along

my SIL was gently easing her DD out of an armchair she struggled to get out of, she only held her hands to help her to stand up and managed to dislocate a shoulder!

there was no swinging or yanking or anything forceful, so it is that easily done! she was 3 or so at the time

my DH doesn't seem to get what the problem is either, he just grins and says that kids have been fine so far...

it does my head in!
why would there have to be a child screaming in pain for the idiots (usually men) to get it?
if it is potentially very harmful just avoid it! it's just as easy to pick up a kid safely.....

BTW, we have 5 sons, so living with 6 males does give me enough insight that I can safely say that they and other men can be utter idiots at times about safety and being careful.
women are idiots about other things, no doubt

I know someone who used to pick her baby off the floor like that.