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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want dc2 to be summerborn for financial reasons?

105 replies

hellohellohihi · 23/01/2013 18:49

Obviously I know you can't plan these things too too much, but if our next baby is born in July or August 2014:

  • my bonus will be included in my mat pay calcs
  • dd will be almost 3 and will get funded childcare places so her nursery costs will be lower, minimizing the cost whilst I'm in mat pay.
  • by the time dc2 goes to nursery dd will still have a years worth of funding
  • dc2 will require a year less childcare due to being one of the youngest in the year

Am I being naive/foolish for crossing my fingers for this?? Obviously this is based on numerous assumptions but I just wondered if I'm the only one who tries to "engineer" their pregnancies to maximise their financial situation?!?!

OP posts:
MummytoMog · 24/01/2013 11:06

If we have another one, we'll have another summer born for financial reasons. My DD is late august, speech delayed and socially delayed, and dealing with those issues probably would be easier if she were a march baby like DS. But you have to plan as well as you can with the known variables, and there are lots of benefits to August babies. And being heavily pregnant in the snow was worse for me than being heavily pregnant in the summer.

MummytoMog · 24/01/2013 11:12

I actually have a timeline worked out for possible DC3, with a budget next to it. I have been very lucky to be able to time pregnancies exactly, but if I can be that precise, then it makes sense to work out when would be best for us as a family and aim for it.

HoratiaWinwood · 24/01/2013 13:12

eliza without hijacking the thread too much Blush he did very well when he was in the middle of a class, eg Y1 in a Y1/Y2 class, but bored stiff at the top (Y2 in Y1/Y2). School/LA flat refused to move him up to the year he was just a few days too young for. He was removed from inflexible state system at end of Y3 to avoid another stagnant year. He is an academic now.

MummytoKatie · 24/01/2013 13:25

One thing I would say is that once you are out of the school system being an August birthday does seem to be an advantage.

For example I have 2 friends who were born exactly a week apart and started work at the same company on the same day. But one had had a year abroad as part of their degree whilst the other had just done 3 years.

Also when I turned 18 I already had my A level results nd we all knew I was off to university in less than 6 weeks. Whilst with my brother (October) my parents had a full year if him being at home and still at school and financially dependent on them but he was legally an adult. It was a very hard year for all 3 of them.

loofet · 24/01/2013 14:01

I have two summer babies (one early June and one early August) didn't plan to have them at any particular time, a baby was a baby to me regardless of birth date. Would you stop trying then if after starting in January by, say, September it still hadn't happened? I mean to the ones who don't want a summer baby..

I find the concept bizarre. I had a few friends at school with Summer birthdays, all exceptionally bright. Nobody i've known with a summer birthday has suffered any more than us with earlier birthdays. My eldest was born early March, he hasn't had an easier time than my younger two. To me if you want a baby that much birth date should be irrelevant..

Cherriesarelovely · 24/01/2013 14:08

I wouldn't have wanted DD to be born in the summer because I have lots of friends who said it was horrible always being the youngest at school. However, I have always envied them for having lovely summer birthdays. Mine is just after Christmas which is crap!

PoshCat · 24/01/2013 14:22

My DD2 is a late August baby. Was due early September.
As it turns out she has some SN, primarily severe speech delay.
Since she started reception she has had much more speech therapy and support than preschool where she basically just played on her own.
I see her starting school early as giving her a leg up and a bit of a headstart.
She loves school and thrives on the more structured routine and discipline.

OP, go for it!

SageYourResoluteOracle · 24/01/2013 14:27

Alice- I can empathise with the dire 20 week scan. Ditto here. We were also (mistakenly) advised at 32 weeks to terminate or that they could induce me and not resuscitate! Thankfully we ignored and continued! Sorry you've had to go through what you've gone through.

I guess I'm envious of people who do get to plan conception. I don't have that choice. We have no way to have any more babies either and all my friends are now on their Second or third babies and I just feel sad.

A baby at any time is a total blessing.

Pandemoniaa · 24/01/2013 14:35

Ds1 was due in late May but arrived early in June. The weather was warm but not unbearable in the last weeks of pregnancy and it was great to lumber off out for tea in gardens. Ds1 certainly didn't suffer academically and his birthday was always in school term with the added bonus of usually very good weather. Toilet training was done in summertime and was so much easier because it was warm and fewer clothes were needed.

In many practical ways, having a summer born child was great. Ds2 was born in December and I'd choose June over 10 days before Christmas any time!

Bakingtins · 24/01/2013 14:55

YANBU to want a baby when it suits you. YABVU if you think life will always work put the way you want. 18m TTC and one MC (my 2nd) later, I'm in the group that would be bloody delighted with any baby at all.

Bakingtins · 24/01/2013 14:55

Work out

BillyBollyDandy · 24/01/2013 15:13

I think it is great that DD1 is the youngest in her year. She started preschool 3 days after she turned 3, in September. That preschool is attached to the primary she will go to and is rated outstanding. Some of the children in her class were about to turn 4 when they started the preschool. She has started learning to read/write a whole year earlier than the older children, and she is keeping up well. Much better imo than her stopping at nursery (which is caring but not academic as you would expect) until she turned 4.

But then everyone in my family, including (Dr) DH is born in June/July/August, except DM who broke the tradition with April. We are all successful academically

Chunderella · 24/01/2013 16:01

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AliceWChild · 24/01/2013 17:02

Sage, it's awful isn't it. The number of similar stories I hear is shocking. And the enormous heart ache it causes. Glad yours worked out too.

sheeplikessleep · 24/01/2013 18:55

Can I just say thank you to those who've taken the time to post positive August baby stories.

It is reassuring, thank you.

mirai · 25/01/2013 02:00

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CheungFun · 25/01/2013 02:32

Just to reassure people, being an August baby is great! I never suffered at school due to being born in August Hmm and I was always in the top sets for everything except Maths which I just wasn't interested in. Birthdays were good as it was always sunny so I could have parties in the garden and DM felt less pressure too as we didn't have to inite the entire class!

honeytea · 25/01/2013 05:14

If we try for dc2 I will aim for an April birth. I'm in hospital with 5 week old ds he has re virus, it's so sad to see him so Ill, I don't think I could cope with the worry I would have for a second winter born baby.

Mosman · 25/01/2013 06:04

I wanted even number birthdates in terms of day month and year. Got them all although DS was June and I wanted October really. They were all perfectly spaced and came exactly to plan so it can work out

mirai · 25/01/2013 06:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mosman · 25/01/2013 06:38

I have no idea, I just like things to be neat I think and so the first one was say 12-8-2002 and so they all had to be. Their names all have the same number of letters and the letter DH and I's name begins with in their somewhere too.
It looks very well laid out when I sign cards from us all Grin

StuckOnARollercoaster · 25/01/2013 07:11

I had crazy reasons for wanting a Nov/Dec baby so that I would still be able to go snowboarding! So we started trying in march/April as one season finished...
Of course nature was having none of it and we didn't conceive till September and are awaiting our June arrival. (But funnily enough I don't care there's no snowboarding this year now!)
As a July baby my mum tells me how lovely it was even though the summer was very hot because she could let me be naked or just in a nappy. My birthday was always a nice opposite to Christmas and could be spent outdoors. In those days I don't think there was as much angst about achievement and comparisons with peers. That said I turned out ok (straight a's and a first at uni Wink)
I hope my baby will be happy and healthy and if s/he needs support over the years I will give it but not blame myself that I gave birth at a 'disadvantaged' time of year.
And finally in these economic times I wouldn't be surprised if plenty of people are working things out like the op, but like many have said it may not be that easy - I certainly didn't want to stop TTC because my timing window had closed.

BrandonFlowersHoHoHo · 25/01/2013 07:20

I've never heard of this dislike for August born babies before. Maybe because I'm in Scotland and August babies are middle in the school year. My eldests a birthday is 31st August, and he was born at 11.59pm. How annoying if I was wishing for a September baby haha

BrandonFlowersHoHoHo · 25/01/2013 07:21

Oh and I don't mean August born babies are disliked btw haha

AliceWChild · 25/01/2013 07:43

Miria, pretty much. I held off until the start of my window. Then tried. Obviously it then depends how quickly you conceive.