WTD when another parent acts more like a kid in the playground?

[scottiefi]

Hello.Having problems with my child(age 7) at school at the moment.Has additional support needs in class,and is getting help outwith school.She did something the other day,which she got in trouble for,and the school feels it has been dealt with.This other parent,I feel, is making it more about her,than the children involved.Now other parents who I used to chat with in the playground avoid me.I don't feel I need to explain my side of things,but there are always two sides to a story.AIBU? Thanks for reading

Not enough info to say. Sorry.

I think there's only 2 things you can do and that's confront or ignore.

Well actually there's a 3 thing and I wish more parents would learn to do it and that's drop your child at school and leave.

More info needed op.

There are 2 sides to every story, if she has shared her side with others and they are ignoring you then you have the option to share your side and let them make up their own minds or put up with the situation as it is.

Sorry,I'll explain a bit better.The school has a rule in which parents don't approch other parents in the schoolgrounds.If they feel they need to talk about there child,someone else's,they do so by making an appointment to resolve any problems.In the past there have been fights in the schoolgrounds, which has led to this rule being brought in.This other parent unfortunately I can't talk to(mouth on her like a toilet bowl),and have just recently seen a nasty streak in her.I have asked for a meeting with the school,in which I feel this has got out of hand to the point I don't feel safe taking my kids(who are the important ones here)to and from school.

You haven't really explained the situation any better there tbh.

What did your dd get in trouble for?

How is this woman being nasty?

How do you know its because of this woman that people are avoiding you?

What has she done to make you feel unsafe?

Everything MissyMoo said. You can't know the other parents are avoiding you because of your dd unless they have actually said so, in other words spoken to you, and that would have given you the chance to explain your part of the story.

If she is doing anything to make your children feel unsafe (threatening violence, manhandling them), surely that is a matter for the police?

Difficult to judge the whole situation if you won't tell us what your dd did. Remember another child could still feel unsafe or unhappy even if the offender has been punished.

Ds lost confidence completely after incidents of bullying though the school was very quick off the mark.

She took something into school,which this other child says she hit/poked with.Parent then came up to me following morning asking me Q's regarding this,of which I said I would gladly go into the school and find out whats been going on.Checked out by school no marks or bruising (child didn't say to parent until later that night-info via school on that) She then went around other parents who were still in the playground,telling them what 'happened' and that nothing gets done about my child,tried then to say my points.Got Mouthed off,shouted at across the playground.I left,came home,waited a while to see if the school would phone me.I then phoned them,got an apointment for later in the day.Spoke to assistant head who had dealt with issue,The two kids storys were different,and there view was my kid(even though she did take something into school,and that has been dealt with on our and the schools sides) that they believed her.

The parents who I saw her speaking to,won't even say hi now when I walk past.The kids have asked why certain ppl aren't aren't talking to me,so they've noticed.In time I know they'll be another person/subject for them to gossip about,and down the road it won't seem as painful.Until then....... take my kids to and from school and keep things as normal as I can for there sakes.

It's a real shame in this world when you go on places like this just to have a normal disscussion/talk/chat with others.But if we didn't I think it would be a worse place for some of us,who need to hear from others,with there views.

Thanks for all message responses.Will let you know how things are soon.

I had a sort of horrible situation like that last year. Different in terms of the cause but the result was one parent gossiping with others, some of whom completely blanked me. It is very, very difficult. I dreaded going to school to pick DD up. I think you are doing the right thing in following the school procedure but this is likely to be a very testing time for you. I hope you can resolve it.

Thanks for reading cherriesarelovely(and everyone else) I hope it can be resolved soon.

I used to be anxious to make nice and make friends and people were shitty to me. Other mums, I mean.

Then I had an epiphany (I read a self-help book called "What You Think About Me is None of My Business") and suddenly decided I no longer gave a crap. I started ignoring people. I didn't blank anybody - if they said "hello" I'd respond. But, I mostly walked around ignoring the other mums and acting as if they didn't exist.

Wouldn't you know they all got much friendlier?

Other mums at the school gates/in the neighbourhood/around the village are boring as shit. Fuck 'em.

You don't need to talk to anyone in the playground though - these people are not your friends, they just happen to have children born in the same year as you!

Arrive just before the bell, drop/collect your child and leave. Hold your head up high and ignore all the petty playground nonsense.