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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to let this client be rude to me

20 replies

FridayNightBites · 22/01/2013 20:45

name changing as I'm certain she's a viper!

Lighthearted really, but one of my clients is so rude to me. Examples

-When she doesn't like my work, says things like 'that was a joke wasn't it? Now send me the real version without all that rubbish about x,y,z?' And tells me she's been pissing herself over certain things I've written on my reports with her colleagues 'oh Friday, that had us all in stitches here, and not in a good way'.

-When I told her I was having DC3, all she said was 'Jesus, not another one' and then changed the subject. And never asked about him ever again (he's 1 now!) When DC1 was born, made the mistake of suggesting I pop in to introduce and she just said 'please don't Friday' so I should have learned really!

-When I suggest things she doesn't like, she says 'oh you are ridiculous, where do you come up with this nonsense Friday?'

-She appears to hate my DH (works in same industry) and always says 'oh Friday, why did you marry him? Silly Friday.'

-When I come into her office once a month or so, she'll often say things like 'honestly Friday, what are you wearing?'

-We'll be making small talk and I'll recommend a restaurant or something I've been to. She'll try it and then, next time we speak, she'll say 'Oh I went there and it was awful, the worst food I've ever eaten, I do wish you hadn't suggested it' I should learn really

I told a friend about this the other day and she was shocked and said she wouldn't stand for it. But I think of it as kind of affectionate and she's been giving me regular work for years, so she obviously likes me on some level! She's very old school and a good 20 years older than me, if that makes any difference...

Anyone else have a boss like this?

OP posts:
GailTheGoldfish · 22/01/2013 20:48

Is she a client or your boss?

Original poster
FridayNightBites · 22/01/2013 21:30

client

OP posts:
VBisme · 22/01/2013 21:34

It'd annoy me, but if you can ignore and rise above and she pays her bills on time then just let it go, she sounds a very unhappy person.

E320 · 22/01/2013 21:35

You need to grow up and be more professional. She is your client, you are not meeting her expectations.
What line of business is this?

deleted203 · 22/01/2013 21:35

Well....I suspect I wouldn't stand for it cos I'm fairly gobby, but I don't think YABU as you've said you think of it as affectionate and you've known her for many years. I suspect that it is just her way and although a lot of people would be fuming you manage to shrug it off and ignore it. I think as long as you can laugh about it privately and it doesn't upset you then there isn't any harm in it. I suspect she wouldn't have been a client of mine for long because I'd have had a tendency when she said, 'oh that was rubbish' to come back with 'I know. The brief I was given was such total shite I had to do the best I could'.....

DieWilde13 · 22/01/2013 21:36

If she is worth it money wise I would just do the old smile & nod and let it wash over me.

If she is not worth it money wise, it really gets to you and she won't be able to damage other client relationships then I would tell her to fuck off increase my quotes massively.

She does sound vile!

DeepRedBetty · 22/01/2013 21:37

Sounds like she's a very sad bitch. Still if she's paying up on time, suck it up.

When did you last raise her rates btw? I have slightly different rates for the same job depending on how much I like them...

SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker · 22/01/2013 21:38

Are you self-employed or employed? Do you need her custom? If you do I'd suck it up and make it more business like. If you don't I would say something back, not rude but assertive.

Arthurfowlersallotment · 22/01/2013 21:40

Well, if it doesn't bother you, then keep cashing the cheques.

I bet she's always been envious of you though.

LesBOFerables · 22/01/2013 21:42

It depends how rude you find it, I suppose. I expect she sees it as banter and refers to herself as having "a dry sense of humour". I doubt she'd still be your client if she didn't rate your work.

Shakey1500 · 22/01/2013 21:42

It depends. it appears that you are asking the question only after the discussion with your friend. This suggests that prior to that, you weren't really that offended and you could rise above it for the sake of your business.

If that's the case, I would carry on.

hrrumph · 22/01/2013 21:45

She does sound quite old school and tbh I think she likes you. She thinks she knows you well enough to "take a joke". I had a boss a bit like this. He'd say things like "is that a parachute you're wearing today". But when it came to it, he was actually a real help when my job was at threat.

If she pays her bills on time, I'd keep her as a client.

I would just take everything she says with a pinch of salt. And if anything does particularly offend you - think up some witty retorts e.g. I'm glad you find me amusing.

I think I'd feel differently if she said these things in a humiliating way e.g. in front of a room full of people.

But from what you've said - I think she's ok. At least she's upfront. I'd prefer that to someone who makes all the right noises but then stabs you in the back.

DoodlesNoodles · 22/01/2013 21:45

She may think you don't mind?

Can you charge her more? Normal rate plus a bitchy cow premium.

Original poster
FridayNightBites · 22/01/2013 21:48

I've realised I've made her sound like a right cowbag, actually she's kind of endearing..bit like an acerbic but funny MIL or something. Rarely bothers me, unless I'm having an off day. E320, I'm very professional apart from offering to bring DC1 in when I was young, naive and PFB-ish enough to think the whole world wanted to meet him , that is, I suspect, why she keeps giving me work - creative differences are inevitable though and I prefer her blunt approach than pussyfooting around. I'm self-employed.

OP posts:
Tryharder · 22/01/2013 21:49

She sounds bonkers but also quite funny. As others have said, she's your client not your boss. Presumably if she didn't like you and didn't respect your work, she would have taken her business elsewhere.

I think I'd laugh about some of these comments if they were made to me, they are so utterly bonkers.

She probably loves you and thinks you are really good friends Smile

GailTheGoldfish · 22/01/2013 21:51

People who can give it out can usually take it back. Make your comebacks witty and not rude and she'll probably like you even more.

Purplemonster · 22/01/2013 21:52

Try adding an 'inconvenience charge' obviously it doesn't appear as that on the invoice but we find that an extra tenner added to the bill when they're being a twat makes it much easier to smile through. It's not enough extra for most people to notice the difference but still gives you a sense of satisfaction!

takeaway2 · 22/01/2013 21:55

I had a colleague once who sounds exactly like your client. She's now retired but she'd say things like 'oh I'd die if I have to iron' (nobody is saying she needs to), 'how can you have children??! I'd much rather have animals!' (Well good for you but then again no one is saying you should have kids!). And she used to say it in front of the kids and make funny faces.

lisa1968 · 22/01/2013 22:08

...just smile sweetly and keep taking her money.....

littlewhitebag · 22/01/2013 22:11

She sounds hilarious and she probably expects to get as good as she gives.

Now my clients are proper rude - i am a social worker Grin

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