AIBU to expect my son not to be sopping wet?

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I'm a single mother and while I'm at work my sister in law looks after my boy (12months) She is a lot older than me and sadly was unable to have children of her own.
She will not accept any payment from me (despite me offering) and looks after my boy 9-5 mon-fri
I'm so happy she looks after him as they adore each other and I need not worry about strangers at a nursery minding him, I know I am very lucky to have this arrangement.
However 50% of the time when I pickhimup he is sopping wet,not just his nappy but soaked through to his trousers. My Boy is a bit of a widdle bum and I usually change him ever three hours during the day when he is with me.
I send him to his aunts with plenty of nappies,wipes and a change of clothes but I still end up picking him up sopping wet.
How do I approacj my SIL with this without sounding like an ungreatful cow?

Firstly, YABU for saying widdle bum! Secondly, I'd perhaps mention it gently once and if things don't change, I'm afraid you might need to find alternative childcare. If he's soaked to his trousers, she surely must notice!

Is she perhaps changing him regularly,but not very skilled at putting the nappies on? How many of the ones you send does she use?

I send a big box of huggies size 4+ every month with a couple of spare nappies in his bag along with his lunch and spare clothes every day.

I've gently mentioned before that he's very wet and she sort of shrugs it off with something along the lines of 'he's been running around so much I didn't notice'

What wrong with widdle bum? good midlands saying that!

I would be finding proper childcare tbh.

Never mind worrying about looking ungrateful, your poor child is stuck in pissy pants repeatedly.

I love the phrase widdle bum - keep using it op. No, no need to find 'proper childcare' he is with his aunty who loves him. You are just going to have to keep mentioning it until it registers. When you go to collect him make a big fuss of saying ooh look how wet you are let me get you out of those nasty wet clothes now! and change him there and then. Keep doing it, saying it's so cold outside you don't want him to get cold. Keep on and on and she'l get the message I'm sure.

Widdle bum is hardly abusive is it?

Childcare fees for five days a week would be so expensive. I think I would keep on mentioning it,and emphasise how much he hates being wet (even if he doesn't!). It won't upset her half as much as telling her you are changing your arrangements. I would persevere,unless you have other concerns?

Thanks - I don't think my sil is being neglectful, my son really couldn't care less that he is wet, I've never known him to cry or in any other way protest that he is in a wet or dirty nappy for that matter.

liking the idea of changing him before we leave - I just don't want to make my sil feel bad. She does so much with him and for him I feel like a bit of a drama queen for making a fuss over a wet nappy (albeit a bloody soaking one!)

widdle bum! whats wrong with that!?

Who said it was abusive?! Some people do like to jump to odd conclusions. It just isn't my cup of char, that's all!

I wouldn't use "proper childcare" when you have a loving family member who wants to do it for free! You have an ideal set up. Definitely keep gently drawing attention to it though, and change him there.

It sounds like you need to be firm. You're not being a drama queen if he's soaked right through. You could say something like....
"I've noticed DS getting very wet nappies at home, so I've started changing him every X hours. Would you mind also doing the same please? I wouldn't want him getting sore. "

thank you for ideas - thinking about it my son bloody hates having his nappy changed and would much rather be in a wet one than have to suffer the unspeakable badness of having his bum changed.

Think I may start him on pull ups and see if this helps- think my sil may find it preferable to let him be wet rather than have him scream blue murder having a bum change!

'Widdle bum'? Good grief.

I would def try pull ups and say to auntie that you know how hard he is to change; these will be easier but he will need to changed every 3 hours as not quite as absorbant. I am sure you count your blessings with such a good person willing to look after him- good luck

What is your relationship like with your SIL. If it were me and mine, I would just blatently say "Bloody hell, he's soaked through! When did you last change him?".

My DS was a bit of a pain to change when small but I developed ways to make it entertaining - songs, nappies coming alive, other toys to fiddle with. Maybe you could spend some time with your SIL and DS and just show her some of your strategies.

She must love him a lot to devote so much time to care for him for nothing, I really don't think you should look elsewhere (I am as I pay a lot for CM and nursery fees for my two). Just give her some pointers.

Huggies are rubbish. Always leak ime. Pampers baby dry are better.

You don't need pullups. Just show her how to change him when he's stood up, normal nappies just as easy to put on standingup and are more absorbant than pullups.