To ask what the phrase "barefoot and pregnant" actually means?

[Fakebook]

And what does it mean when a man says "I want to keep you barefoot and pregnant" to his gf/wife? Would you think of it as a term of endearment? Is it supposed to be a nice comment?

Friend told me happily this is what her DH said to her whilst she was pregnant. I mustered up a little laugh, but felt a bit upon hearing it, but I don't quite know why. It's not something I'd like said to me.

So what does it mean?

I don't know. Would barefoot indicate not going out so therefore having to stay in?? It doesn't sound endearing to me!

at the kitchen sink usually follows, it's very much an "I want you in your place" phrase (shudders)

That's what I thought. Or does it mean heavily pregnant so her DH was proud of her ripened body. I don't know!

Vulnerable... Unable to run away!

Unless he said it as a joke, I would think it was horrible and controlling.

Trapped is what I think when I hear it, don't know if that's correct. Barefoot implies no shoes, can't go anywhere. It's not a nice saying.

Cripes no it is not a compliment.

We view pregnant women as vulnerable. The barefoot I believe relates to being at home, so he likes her being vulnerable (ergo dependant on him) and at home where he can keep her.

Can't leave because she has no shoes to walk in and pregnant and vunerable.

Horrible expression.

Damn when I said 'we view' I meant wider society. It's not MY view nor am I suggesting it is 'everyones' view. It's more a patriarchal thing

Maybe it was a joke? She seemed quite happy with it . But even as a joke what a strange thing to say.

It's not very nice. It suggests she is vulnerable and totally dependent.

Has he misunderstood the meaning of it? Maybe he thinks it's a kind of 'earthmother' thing, that's what it makes me think of, gives me a visual image of a lentil weaver type (ignoring the history of it for a minute).

Its normally considered to be a negative thing and saying it is expressing a desire to restrict a persons movements isolate them and increase there dependency on you. Its often expressed as an explanation of a pregnant domestic violence relationship where by the abuser has done all he can to get the other party pregnant by deceit or bullying.

But it would not be unusual for a person to not understand a common phrase and use it in the wrong context so he may think he s complimenting her.

Horrible phrase disguised as something that sounds like an article in a lifestyle magazine. What it means is chained to the home, chained to me. Tell her to run like the wind.

DH and I have said this - I think in a not-loving relationship it would mean everything PPs have said above - controlling, vulnerable, immobile, domesticated.

For us it's a shorthand way of saying 'OMG our lives are changing immeasurably, DW is changing from an independant, career minded, busy individual to someone who is newly interested in nesting and reads the Which report to find the best pram. DH is changing from an also independant, leisure-focussed, relaxed and content with his lot person to someone who will be the main earner for at least a year and who has a natural sense of responsibility towards the people he loves. We welcome theses changes but we are shit scared'.
Obviously it would take us half an hour to say all these things so we riff upon being 'barefoot and pregnant'.

It only works though if you adore each other and are very happy with your situation. In any kind of abusive relationship it would be horrible.

I thought it meant penniless - my friend split up with her dp when 8 months preg, he kicked her out, so she was homeless/jobless/penniless, she called that 'barefoot & pregnant'. not great!

Although there is that barefoot contessa programme so in strict fairness, he may have the meaning wrong.

I thought same as pootles, bare foot as in cant afford shoes for her feet being the meaning.

I once read something similar - "Barefoot in the winter and pregnant in the summer".

i.e. "you will never get away from me"

Horrible thing to say.

If he's a nice guy generally I'd suspect he meant it in a 'I love it when you're pregnant' kind of way.

I seem to remember watching some program with Kirstie allsopp and she said some kitchen was 'the kind of place I've always imagined being barefoot and pregnant' ie at home, mothering, content.

That isn't the only meaning of it though as others have pointed out.

The original phrase was "barefoot, pregnant and behind doors (meaning in the kitchen).

It was about male domination of their wives, as women didn't have a means of avoiding pregnancy and didn't have the option of divorce or was able to refuse sex. Popular in regions that needed large families to survive, or as a status symbol.

What a horrible phrase. Sounds like something from the Dark Ages. I wouldn't like to hear it from anyone I know.

trapped. vulnerable. dependent.

'barefoot and pregnant'

so you can't run away

it's just a stupid joke