1st baby scan drama!

[Raspberryyogurt]

Please tell me if IABU, I have briefly mentioned this in my other post but I need to ask.

I booked my 1st scan for DC2 the Friday before last, My DM was there and it was booked on a date that she is busy. She asked me to change it, I said 'I have a test the week after (My scan is on the Friday) and I don't know when that is going to be booked for so I don't want to book it for when the test is as I need to have the scan before I have this test' My scan is on the Friday and my test is for the week after.

My DM completely lost it with me telling me that i am a 'Selfish cow' and that I 'Only think about myself and have no consideration for others' and I got told to 'Shut the fuck up' multiple times when I tried to talk to her to explain things.

So now I have my scan soon and I am getting nervous/excited about it as I want to see baby and know if everything is okay. Whenever I mention my scan in my home I get ignored and they don't talk about it.

Can I just explain that my mum will be finished an hour before the scan is so she can easily make it but she has now told me that she 'Doesn't give a shit and doesn't want to come now anyway'.

I am upset that I can't talk about my baby's scan without feeling guilty that my DM won't be there, AIBU?

YABU. Your mum sounds psychotic.

Good luck with the scan.

Sorry YANBU!!

when they see the baby scan it will be fine. MIL also called me a 'selfish bitch' beacuse I wanted DP to come to my scan and not his own appointment (She had made the appointment for him, even though he's 22! and he could re-arrange easier than I could!)

My own mum didn't speak to me when I told her I was pregnant. The first scan changed things because my family started to realise it was an actual baby :)

Hope it all works out. Just go by yourself, but let your Mum know the offers there

Woah - YANBU!

Does your Mum usually lose the plot over everything like this?! I just wouldn't engage with it. Don't discuss it in front of her and if she mentions it in a horrible way, just leave the room. She'll soon shut up.

Good luck with all your scans and tests x

Why is your mum going with you? Is OH not around?

Yanbu! What a horrible person.

She thinks you're a selfish cow and doesn't want to come anyway? Result. Dont' discuss baby related stuff with her any more if she reacts like this - it's your baby, not hers.

Is this a real or joke thread? Will someone who has been a member of the site for over 5 years please let me know before I respond.

Thank you for the replies I was beginning to doubt myself.

DM wasn't usually like this in the past but I had to unfortunately move back in with my parents and since then she has become very different!

OH isn't around, He walked out on me and DS and wants nothing to do with this baby (We did plan another baby and he/she was very much wanted so it came as quite a shock when he left).

You say in your home - do you live with your mother? If so, would try and change this as quickly as possible, as she will only get worse when the baby arrives.

Of course you are not being unreasonable.

Cross post - sorry about your OH, what an arse :(

Still try and get out of your parents, though.

"Whenever I mention my scan in my home I get ignored and they don't talk about it."

Do you live with your Mum then? Where is your baby's father in all this because surely he would be the obvious choice to go with you?

Frankly your mum sounds horrible! Sorry but she does. Are you going to need any help from her with the baby because, if not, I would try to keep her at arms length if this is how she behaves.

Another x-post.

Bad luck that sounds difficult. Definitely try and get your own place before the baby arrives though.

He walked out on me and DS and wants nothing to do with this baby

I'm very sorry to hear that. I know it doesn't solve the immediate problem, but I trust you will be talking to CSA to ensure that he pays for the child. Apart from the moral requirent for him to do so it may help for you to support yourself and baby away from your mother's home.

User those circumstances OP, your mum is being even more unreasonable.

Good luck with the baby!

I am going to make an appointment with citizens advice and hopefully they will point me in the right direction for me to get a house/help, I am desperate to move out but I don't work so I don't know if they will make this possible.

The CSA won't make my ex pay anything as he is a student so I get nothing from him.

He didn't even buy DS a card/present at Christmas.

Sorry for your troubles raspberryyogurt. YANBU at ALL. Your DM is being horrible - I would suspect she's very worried about you, and is acting this way out of fear. Talk to her about it, assuming this is out of character. Fear makes us weird! Hugs.

Good lord, your DM sounds hard work! Ignore her, she is being selfish and nasty.

Does she realise that this is actually a medical check and not just an opportunity to wook at the cutie basy-wabsy on the screen?

Raspberry, FWIW I am unemployed due to medical reasons. I get HB, and although finances are tough at times, I manage. I was living with my parents for the first year with DS, and once I moved out I noticed an improvement in my mental state. You can do this.

And seeing as people on JSA still have to contribute towards children, I would have thought that you would be eligible for some support from him?

Wow. It all sounds very stressful. Its easier said than done, but I think you need a big family sit down / talk about the pregnancy, living together, who's responsible for what, etc etc. Good luck!

Have you got a friend who can go with you? How is your relationship with your ex's mum?

OP you should still start a case with CSA.
Even if he is a student now and not earning, it will be on record when he is able to pay what he owes the baby. Don't write it off!