AIBU to pray this is taken seriously - Diane Abbott - British Culture Increasingly Pornified

[greeneyed]

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-21127073

I have a three year old boy and I am already worried about how he may view girls, relationships, sex etc as a teenager - With 24/7 access to porn how will his understanding of normal relationships develop - his expectations of women and relationships? Will he be eternally disappointed it isn't like a porn script or will all the girls be pressured to conform to these expectations, sexting etc - It scares me the pressure teenagers are under, what are schools doing about it? Is it time smart phones were banned from school for example?

[pointythings]

quote you've just said everything I was going to say.

[quoteunquote]

quote you've just said everything I was going to say.

you know about dartmoor

ATPM

I was joking, it is just dartmoor is the biggest den of iniquities going the sex stories are outrageous, try Lundy.

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

Ok, ok, ok. Dartmoor was a bad choice. My point was that the pressures young people are facing from the commercialisation and pornification of culture makes me want to remove any children I have from it and bring them up somewhere free from it. Antarctica perhaps.

(And you're both wrong. I have been reading horrific things about Pitcairn Island. This is a British territory and Britain turned a blind eye :( )

[BoneyBackJefferson]

greeneyed

"what are schools doing about it?"

Surely this should start at home?

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

School can't ensure parents don't buy their Dc s computers and smartphones with no willingness to put limits on their use or understanding of how to do so.

School can't stop parents allowing or helping their DCs to have facebook accounts in primary school and then not monitor their use.

[RuleBritannia]

Perhaps I haven't taken in what has been discovered but all I can say is that my two 18/19 in 1984 both have happy marriages with children and as far as I know were never exposed to porn. There might have been hidden porno magazines but, if so, I don't know - and don't want to. They now live their own lives

What they do now is their business. Oh, let's bring back Victorian values and everyone will have a clean life!

[Angelico]

YANBU. There was an interesting article in one of the Sunday papers last year about therapists seeing lots of younger guys (early twenties) who cannot have sexual relationships with normal women - by normal I mean pubes, pale skin (not fake tanned), normal boobs and lips etc. Usually it's down to lots of porn-watching as teens, watching really extreme stuff sometimes. It was actually really sad as apparently a lot of the guys are now at an age where they want to start having relationships and just don't know how to make sex and emotion go hand in hand.

What I REALLY hate is seeing porn-influenced clothes for kids, especially pre-teens and young teens.

[PurpleStorm]

YANBU.

I also find it worrying how much more sexualised things are now. With things like the internet and smartphones it's so much easier for kids to stumble across porn, or be able to take nude photos of themselves, than it was 20 years ago.

But I think that tackling this isn't just an issue for schools. Parents also have a responsibility to try and teach their DCs about normal relationships.

[Greythorne]

AKissIsNotAContract Tue 22-Jan-13 13:37:37
'I know that when my friends and I were becoming sexually active in our teens, anal sex was not seen as introductory.'

I disagree, my mum who is in her 60s had friends at her school who were advised by their mums to have anal sex to protect their virginity for marriage. I don't think that idea is new.

I do take your point. I know anal has been seen as a contraceptive method since time immemorial. There's that famous scene in the "Valley of the Dolls" set in the 60s which references this exactly, for example.

But I think there's a difference. Anal sex between consulting adults in a relationship as a part of spectrum of sexual activity, both of whom are enjoying it is one thing.

Teenage girls being made to feel pressure to have anal sex because their boyfriends have been exposed to porn and expect it is different. I think sexual activity used to happen along a continuum, starting with kissing, then "heavy petting", then fingers in vaginas, then intercourse, etc.

Porn, with its emphasis on "anything, anytime, with women who are always willing, no discussion, no questions about consent, no questions about the woman's pleasure has changed all that. In porn, the "money shot" is the man coming. Not the woman orgasming, because, frankly, the key thing is male pleasure.

There's been a change now so that anal is expected. Blow jobs are expected. Shaved pubic hair is expected.

Not sure where girls pleasure comes into any of these expectations.

[BegoniaBampot]

Seen claims that many children accessing hard core porn round about the age. Of 10 and 11. That is very scary if true and I believe it could well be. I have a 10 yr old son and I do worry about it. when I was growing up in the 80's you just didn't have such easy access. Remember walking down the woods and sometimes coming across some old dirty mags but that was about it.

[SolidGoldBrass]

Begonia: the last study I remember hearing about was pretty blurred, lumping 11 year olds and the entire teen spectrum together for good scare-tactics.

[BelaLugosisShed]

If it's not the pornification of our society that is responsible for yet another case of a group of young footballers raping and photgraphing a barely concious young woman - then what is?

What is giving some young men the feeling that they are entitled to rape and sexually humiliate young women?

[AmberLeaf]

Why do you think gang rape and humiliation is a new thing?

It really isn't. I think maybe we hear about it more due to social media and people having instant access to news stories through the internet.

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

Ok, if we're not going to be as extreme as gang rape then not that long ago when I was at school, I got through the seven years without being groped or sexually threatened or humiliated. I don't think that would happen now.

[AmberLeaf]

Im nearly 40 and boys at school [primary] used to try to feel me and my friends up daily.

Im not saying it isn't worse now, I don't know, but by no means is that sort of thing new.