to have my boyfriend stay over with my kids there?

[gonenative]

Hi all

I have been separated - amicably - from my ex husband since September 2011. He moved out at the beginning of last year. We have 2 kids together, aged 4 and 8. We are in the process of getting divorced.

I have been seeing someone since March last year, initially on a very casual basis, but over the last few months it has become more serious, and we are starting to plan a future together

He first met my kids in September, as a friend, and over the last couple of months we have hung out together a few times, and they get on really well.

My children spend 3/4 days per week with their dad, and the remaining days with me. At present both my boyfriend and I work away a lot, so there are occasions when the only time we can see each other is when I have the kids staying over.

Last weekend he stayed over on Saturday night, and we all hung out in the morning. The kids seemed happy and unfazed by it. I told my ex today as I thought it better they hear it from me than from the kids and he was I think a bit shocked.

What do you all think (please be gentle)?

It has been nearly a year that you have been seeing him... I dont see a problem with it at all.

That sounds fine. Just be careful. My friend was caught by her DD in the early hours being shagged while wearing kinky clothing in her living room. DD was most disturbed. LOCK YOUR DOORS.

Depends how serious you are, whether its going to be long term.

I've seen far too much damage done (in a professional capacity) with transient partners brought in and leaving again so quickly. It doesnt create stability for children.

YANBU

I think it sounds entirely reasonable to have him stay when they are there. You've hardly rushed into it.

YANBU

i wouldn't but people do.

Thanks for your responses, that's really encouraging to hear.

And HollyBerryBush, I totally concur. I would never have introduced the kids to him if I didn't see myself being with him in a serious, long term way, and wasn't certain that his intentions were good.