Reasonable amount of notice before contact

[HoppityFrog]

What is a reasonable amount of time in advance to ask for when contact is being arranged?
I want to say to him you need to give amount of notice beforehand when you can to see DS as visits/meeting up still being so last minute isn't working, but I'm not sure how much is reasonable?

Ex work's shifts, so I understand that it can't be set days, but he finds out his shifts for a month at a time so he doesn't get his hours last minute, and has never brought rota around to organize in advance, saying he forgot every time.

At the moment he usually texts 2-3 hours beforehand, or very occasionally late on the evening before, despite me bringing up each time that he needs to give more notice.
To avoid drip feeding in response to suggestions, if I say I'm busy he has a huge strop about "what can be more important than him seeing his father" then just say's "I'll let you know" when I ask when he's next free, and does it last minute again.
If I text him when he hasn't visited for a few weeks, asking if he want's to organize anything he won't reply, and will text randomly arranging a visit on the day instead. When we've arranged during a visit when to next meet up, he has always cancelled that last minute.

Ask for whatever suits you best, if you need to know a month in advance then ask for a schedule as soon as he gets his shift pattern.
If you can manage on a week by week basis then ask for that instead.
It's perfectly reasonable to want to plan in advance.

I would ask for a week on advance but knowing that one week each month was possibly subject to change.

The correct response to his whats more important question is

" I don't know,why don't you tell me what is more important each time YOU get your rota"

Could he reasonably argue I wasn't allowing him contact if i asked for say a week notice or contact wouldn't happen then, or would that be ok?

Tell him the current arrangement isn't working. The strops are not acceptable because it is entirely his own fault. By leaving it to the last minute, in other words, when he has nothing better to do, he takes the chance the dc's have other things to do. They cannot sit and wait around for him to make contact, they are entitled to have a social life of their own.

From now on, he has to give you notice of his schedule so you can then organise contact that is beneficial to the children and all their activities.

He can of course, strop more that you aren't allowing contact because you want to organise it more efficiently. But again, remind him that this is to benefit his contact. Of course he can revert back to the 2-3 hours notice, but this effectively is stopping contact because of the dc's activities.

Op are you working at the moment.

If you are then you have to make childcare arrangements, so why isn't he.

Make all requests in writing and then no he can't claim that.

No I'm on maternity leave still Mc.
Ok thank you sock, good idea.

YANBU
He's having a lovely little game with you, isn't he ?

I think you're perfectly within your rights to tell him to stop being so petulant and tell you in advance, or take the risk that you might not be around.