To still be upset over this - Breastfeeding

[Losingexcessweight]

DD is 14 weeks old.

When i was pregnant, i was very sure i didnt want to breastfeed, didnt feel i wanted to do it etc.

DD was born by EMCS. After i had been stitched up, DH had already given dd a bottle and she was already dressed. Feel bitter that i never got to do that etc.

If dd was born naturally i would of attempted to breastfeed, i know i would, as my feelings changed about breastfeeding when i had her.

My boobs never leaked during pregnancy or afterwards, and werent hard or felt full etc so i dont know if my body had actually produced milk.

The fact is even though dh had given her a bottle, i never tried to breastfeed afterwards.

I really regret this and wish i had breastfed her. I know its far too late now.

But i cant help feeling guilty.

Has anyone else ever regretted breastfeeding?

Someone please shake me out of this!

When I gave birth to my DS, I had every medical intervention forced on me and consequently, I believe, this was one of the reasons why my milk never arrived.

I had never felt guilty about using a bottle. I saw how my sister struggled with breast feeding. Leaking, cracked nipples etc and I just thought I had a lucky escape.

I don't think I missed out by not breast feeding my DS. You can still cuddle your DD when feeding her.

You will always be good enough for your DD, as you are her world.

Can I just say, relactating at 14 weeks and then BF when you have not previously fed a baby is going to be nigh on impossible. OP if you decide to go down this route then good for you (and get expert help), but please don't feel bad for not trying or succeeding at doing this. It's what has happened that you need to come to terms with. I don't blame you for being sad that you missed out on being the first person to dress your baby. It is a real shame that more effort is not made for mothers who have had Csections to be helped to stay with their babies the whole time and involve them more. I also don't blame you for feeling sad that you didn't BF your daughter. It's not irrational or silly, but the fact is that you didn't for good reasons that you had at the time, and not because you are selfish or don't care about your daughter (it's obvious you do, very much). Be kind to yourself. You're not perfect and nor does your daughter need you to be. But you're the perfect mother for her, FF or BF.

I managed to relactate at 18 weeks. It isn't impossible, but it was ridiculously hard and I had to put up with the side effects of the supplements I used making me very sweaty. DD then couldn't remember how to latch on. It was an epic fail, but had I been willing to express it would have been possible.

I didn't breast feed my first 2, but did my 3rd. All born via ELCS. There is no discernible differences between them. Sometimes I do still feel a bit bad for the older ones but you work with what you knew at the time. You are doing your best for your baby now. Please don't beat yourself up about this. It's one of many, many parenting decisions you will make - it just feels epic because it's the first one.

Well imagine my guilt over not bf ds. Turned out to have a serious allergy to cows milk, hospital stays, breathing difficulty, red raw skin, intially thought he was not going to develop normally before we knew what was wrong, horrifically thin. Months of illness and hospital before I found out not bfwas the reason for it all! Id love to go back,but can't, and I now have a gorgeous happy 2 yr old in fatastic health and have come to realise it's such a small part of his pbringing it's not significant looking at the whole picture

(...though funnily enough dd is ebf!)

I had an EMCS and then a major PPH so spent the first few hours of dd's life drifting in and out of consciousness.

I missed (or at least have no memory of) her first nappy, being weighed, being dressed or even being named. (We knew she was a girl and had a named lined up and apparently when the midwife asked he said "shall we go with the name we chose" and I agreed but I don't remember at all.)

I did manage to bf her so I am happy about that but when she was tiny I used to feel a bit cheated of what I missed. But she's nearly 3 now and those few hours are now pretty irrelevant to me. Until this thread I hadn't thought about them for ages. There are so many other hours (many of them in the middle of the night when I actually would have preferred to be in bed!) that I have spent with her. Hundreds of them. Thousands of them. And they are so precious too.

Yesterday I took her to the toilet while we were out for Sunday lunch. (We're potty training - I take her to the loo a lot!) Whilst she was sitting there looking very serious and concentrating she just looked so adorable so I impulsively said "mummy and daddy love you very very much". She smiled really wide and said "And I love you and daddy very very much". She then opened her arms and said "This much."

I don't think I'd give that moment up to be able to remember her getting dressed for the first time. So I must be over it.

It is not too late. I stopped bf at 3 weeks and have relactated at 12 weeks. It's going well. I have milk and she latched on 3 times in the last 24 hours. If you want to, you can try.

its not too late! but bear in mind that even when you start right away, for some people it hurts like hell, and your baby is now fourteen weeks bigger and stronger.

suckling at the breast is a bit different from using a bottle/teat whatever, so new skills would have to be learned.

to bring milk in, you need nipple stimulation, more or less constantly, for three days. you can put the baby to the breast but you'll need to feed her in your usual way, so you would need to be sure you didn't tire her out by leaving her at the breast a long time - she might not know at her age whether she's getting milk or not.

rather than going the whole way and trying all out to lactate, if you really regret not breastfeeding, why not occasionally put the baby to the breast and see if you both like it? you've no need to panic about anything, you don't have to breastfeed. you can be as close as you like. she's your baby.

if you'd breastfed from the start, at fourteen weeks you'd be just starting out on the breastfeeding journey.

don't blame yourself for anything.

I 'failed' to bf my dd, she was born via emcs and I didn't see her for the first, crucial 48 hrs as I was in itu. Furthermore, she was premature and on neonatal for a few weeks. I did try with expressing and everything but never felt I was producing enough or would pump for ages to get 1oz! So when we took her home, I just switched to dd but felt hugely guilty.

Then ds come along, again born by emcs but was handed to me in recovery and went home the next day, he was an overdue baby too. I bf him though he had tongue tie but he's still bfin now at 18months!

Not sure what the moral of my story is, the type of birth you have makes a difference. And don't think you'll never be able to bf. Some babies thrive on formula, my dd did and is a healthy, sturdy kid. Be kind to yourself, you've created a beautiful baby, enjoy her.

I BF after an EMCS. If it's already done try and focus on the positives of FF. I loved BF but it was exhausting, my baby was never off the boob, wouldn't even take an expressed bottle of BM. It was all me, me, me. husband couldn't help at night with feeds, breasts can be sore, leak etc. really I had no respite. Just try and enjoy your baby. We can all have regrets, I would have loved to have the chance of going into labour normally and having at least the chance of more straight forward or natural births. Hope you can just enjoy your baby.

Relactating when you have BF your baby for a week or three is a different ball game to relactating when you haven't. It's not impossible to produce some milk but it's pretty unlikely to be much and getting the baby to learn to BF at 14 weeks when it has never done so before would be very hard. The two together would be incredibly difficult and - I think - unlikely. But I am sure some people have managed it and there is absolutely no harm in trying

I breastfed for nearly a year and dd was undernourished and struggling to thrive. I do regret it, but it's a small part of the sum total of our experiences.

DS2 was born early and was in HDU for a week after birth, I expressed like mad for him but after a few days the nurses had to give him formula as my milk was somehow disappearing from the fridge!
I was gutted to find that he wouldn't entertain breast milk after that and felt so deflated. He had problems with the bottle too, the HV spent 30 minutes when he came home trying to get 20mls into him to stop him being readmitted. It was awful.

Anyway, long story short, he had a stinking cold at 13 weeks and I felt so helpless and just wanted so much to give him breast milk. So I got out my breast pump and went for it like the clappers! I managed less than a teaspoon the first day but it was enough to get DS interested in latching on.

I spent a week either constantly feeding him or pumping alternately but it worked!! He still needed topped up with formula every other feed during the day but during the night he was EBF and we continued like that for 6 months.

It's not easy, and it's not for everyone but it can work. It's worth a try if it means alot to you.

However, don't let how you feed your baby be a source of stress or guilt for you. I have 5 DC and have managed to successfully BF only 2 of them, all of them are happy and healthy regardless of how i fed them. They were just all different, circumstances were different and I did what was right at the time. As did you, just enjoy your lovely baby