Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that this is not exactly a revelation

20 replies

fixarupa · 21/01/2013 14:19

Did anyone listen to radio 4 you and yours today?
There was a mum talking about how she is determined not to spend much money on her two year old son. She was waxing lyrical about the joys of second hand clothes and cutting your old child's hair. She was even having lessons to learn how to cut her childs hair fgs. She then proceeded to say how she had looked on her bathroom shelf and thought does she really need to buy special baby toothpaste, shampoo? etc.

It really winds me up when people go on about things that other people have been doing (without any choice due to financial hardship) since the beginning of time. I have always avoided "child" marketed foods as i know they are over priced and unnecessary. She was making out like it is accepted by lots of mums as the norm to buy this stuff.
I have two kids now, and have never believed this crap about raising a child costs thousands of pounds. Although i am sure it would if you choose to spend it.
I do know, however that the biggest cost I have had to endure has been the unavoidable cost of childcare. No amount of cloth nappy buying, baby led weaning, exclusive bf, etc has saved me the burden of this cost.

OP posts:
Gigondas · 21/01/2013 14:21

Didn't listen but agree with your post .

BarbarianMum · 21/01/2013 14:23

YANBU but neither is it a revelation that, once one has children, someone has to look after them.

CailinDana · 21/01/2013 14:24

YANBU. Smuggy McSmuggerton "I could afford it but I'm so frugal dahling smacks of Marie Antoinette style plebian "slumming." As you say, plenty of people do these things because they absolutely have to, not so they can pat themselves on the back at how wonderfully resourceful they are. The idea that expensive baby "essentials" are the norm comes from an extremely blinkered view brought on by always having the money to actually afford these things. If you never had the money then they were never even an option.

dashoflime · 21/01/2013 14:26

Im not sure if YABU or not:

On the one hand, not everyone knows how to budget and this might actually be news (and useful) to them. So maybe there's a place for it

On the other hand: the experience of working class people is almost always absent and never presented as the norm (Although numerically it absolutely is!), so I can see why it irks you.

firawla · 21/01/2013 14:27

YANBU is this the woman whos made a blog or something whittering on about how she is going to raise her child for free for a year? Ridiculous - she may not be buying children branded food but even tesco value still costs money!!
It's just smug attention seeking imo

Thumbwitch · 21/01/2013 14:27

YANBU.
It always amazes me that some women seem to think they are the first to "discover" these things about raising children.

There is one in my playgroup - she started a "mummyblog" on the tips she'd picked up with her DD. Most of us in the playgroup have DC older than hers, and so we felt a bit Hmm at the idea that her blog was going to be the saving of us (her implication).

BarbarianMum · 21/01/2013 14:28

Posted too soon, sorry. To continue: childcare has to be expensive because the person looking after the child(ren) also needs to support themselves/their family. And, if subsidised by the government them that is ultimately those working who will pay (albeit with some levelling out). The idea of 'free childcare' is bonkers..

PrettyKitty1986 · 21/01/2013 14:30

Do people really cut their own kids hair? That actually is a revelation to me. It only costs £8 once a month to have both of mine done, I wouldn't think that's a money saving necessity for many Hmm

KatyTheCleaningLady · 21/01/2013 14:32

Yeah, everybody does that.

One thing I do, because I am from another country, is buy my kids cheap-ass shoes from Asda/wherever. My MIL is one of those "If they don't have Clark's they'll grow up gimpy and stupid!" people. I cannot imagine paying £30 for a pair of shoes they're just going to outgrow. But I've noticed that even people of modest means insist on them.

My MIL often takes them to Clark's for their shoes and I think that's sweet. They are very good shoes. I just hope she doesn't judge me because the shoes I buy are cheap-o crap.

dashoflime · 21/01/2013 14:33

"YANBU. Smuggy McSmuggerton "I could afford it but I'm so frugal dahling smacks of Marie Antoinette style plebian "slumming.""

I agree with this ^

It also seems weird to me when they conduct the slumming experiment on their children and leave expenditure on themselves untouched. Especially with the justification that the children will "learn not to be materialistic"

There was a thread not long ago where loads of us who grew up poor, talked about the lifelong sense of being undeserving of nice things this has left us with.

Why anyone would do this to their kids unless it was absolutely necessary is beyond me.

dashoflime · 21/01/2013 14:38

firawla: Yes! Thats the woman I was thinking of!

MrsTwinks · 21/01/2013 14:41

Shoes are one thing I wouldn't scrimp on. But then I see way to many children/teens with foot problems due to having poorly fitted shoes where I work. sorry. But then that'd be good fit not just X brand or whatever

Otherwise agree with you totally, its all common sense really. But then thats not too common anymore

BackforGood · 21/01/2013 14:48

PrettyKitty - I certainly cut my ds's hair for years, not especially for the money saving (although that was a bonus), but for the convenience... just whip the clippers out when it needed doing, no need to have to book an appointment, drag all the dc down there, entertain then while waiting for each other, eat into precious time when I wasn't at work and he wasn't at school, but the shops were open, but it didn't clash with anything else (very limited window). Smile

BeanJuice · 21/01/2013 14:50

I heard it, thought it was a little smug

mrspink27 · 21/01/2013 14:54

Think this blog is the lady...

ThingummyBob · 21/01/2013 14:55

Everyone has different priorities though. The replies on this thread prove that.

I would never spend £8 per month on haircuts for the whole family, never mind the dcs. I also do not buy that expensive = better for footwear either. I have found perfectly good and acceptable footwear solutions without ever stepping foot inside a clarks.

We are all different. We all make our owm choices.

Agree with sentiment of OP though that she was just a smug mummmy type Grin

trice · 21/01/2013 15:15

I thought she was probably a mumsnetter. But yes she did come over as a dizzy and slightly smug woman. "And then I realised that he could eat Greek yogurt!" Made me giggle.

I bought every gadget and gizmo going for dc1 and nothing at all for dc2. I had less money second time around and I was a lot less bored and gullible.

ghoulelocks · 21/01/2013 15:34

I agree on the decent shoes sentiment, I go to clarks get them masured up and hit ebay. Last shoes where £2.50 barely worn, £45 leather boots in store. Normally pay about £2-6 for quality shoes that have clearly been grown out of before any real wear.

Also I would only ever cut my kids hair, until they ar old enough to request otherwise!

I like money saving tips, but agree most tips are of the stupid 'don't buy a take-out coffee everyday' type, you'd be stupid to do it in the firstplace.

dashoflime · 21/01/2013 15:48

Oh we ARE talking about that woman. In that case YUD(efinately)NBU

ICBINEG · 21/01/2013 16:41

YANBU but on the other hand lots of people who have never had to budget are suddenly finding themselves in trouble. It really may be news to certain middleclass stalwarts that you don't have to buy clothes new and can cut hair with actual scissors...

New posts on this thread. Refresh page