Regarding orgainsed activities... (Warning, very dull...)

[EnchantedBunny]

Can I have a few opinions please on the following...

I have a ds 8months old. We started two baby groups after New Year, massage and music gym, both free short courses run locally. I went the first week, ds seemed to tolerate the massage and gym, but was very wriggly, and naturally fascinated by the other babies. The opportunity to interact with the other babies was pretty limited though. I am by nature a reserved person, a bit of a reclusive old boot at times, and am not the greatest at meeting new people. Last week I cried off as we had a couple of really bad nights sleep and ds desperately needed a nap.

Today I have come to the conclusion that I am just not a group activity kind of person/mum. DS is well socialised, and apart from currently going through the 'only mum will do' stage, is happy to go to anyone and loves the older kids that we see maybe once a week. We see GPs at least 3 times a week, and I have a friend with a similar age DS who I really need to start arranging to see, plus I see my pre-DS friends a couple of times a month, so we have an ok social life.

So, AIBU to not attend these baby groups purely on the basis that it's not really my thing? I could make myself go if the consensus is that my ds will miss out if we don't, but my gut feeling is to free up the place for someone who will really get something out of it.

MN, I await your replies...

Damn, for all my proofreading, there's a typo in the thread title Apologies...

Absolutely!

I hated going to these places with DD.
Instead we would go for a long walk with the dog each day, stop off at a café on the way back and have a bit of coffee and cake.
Loved it.

I would say that 2.5 years is the time that they really start to benefit from activities and start to make friends.

I never took ds to anything at 8 months but you might find later on when ds is a bit older he might benefit from toddler group.

At 8 months it is purely for the mum, so if you don't enjoy it then don't go.

I went to a music group - my kids were totally uninterested !!

Go if you want to - if you don't, then don't go. They are more for the mum's than the babies at that age anyway.

If though, as you say, he is interested in other babies (often they aren't - they just want whatever the other baby has !) - make sure he gets to meet some sometimes (your socialisation sounds adult based).

But bottom line - he is very young - no need to rush into joining all those social groups.

No, don't bother. He's only 8 months. He'll probably (possibly) need a bit of interaction with his peers when he's a bit older but for now just do what you enjoy with him.

YANBU, each to their own!

I concluded that they weren't for my DC1. In our case we paid for a few things (swimming lessons, etc) but if she was sick/tired/hungry/grumpy we often had to cancel or leave early and lost money. And I would be so busy consoling her, any socialising was impossible.

How about finding a local playgroup where you can drop in, or not, as you wish?

I've never attended any baby groups. DD is 3, DS is 9mo. I couldn't imagine anything worse than having to make small talk with people where the only thing we have in common is that we happen to have had a child. I'm not keen on people

Fabulous, thank you, it's good to know I'm not the only one! I shall research drop-in playgroups, and make a point of meeting up with friends with similar age dc.

I do love Mumsnet; impartial and sensible advice in the blink of an eye!

I totally agree Flisspaps, people are overrated IRL!

When DD was 8 months I was lucky if I bothered to go out at all!

Far too young for all that faffing.

We started tumble tots when she was 2ish I think, and she did a toddler group from 2.5.

I used to enjoy meeting friends with children of a similar age so we could do mutual moaning.