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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel trapped into paying for these things?

45 replies

stormforce10 · 20/01/2013 18:08

A neighbour came over and knocked on our door to say that they had some baby clothes they were going to take to a charity shop but they thought they'd fit DS so would I like them. They said to pop over for a cup of tea and i could go through them and pick out what I liked then they'd take anything left over to the charity shop so I did just that. There was a huge black sack of stuff which was mixed baby and adult stuff and she said to take anything I like as she didnt need it anyway. I picked out a couple of pairs of dungarees, some trousers, a jumper, a couple of tops and vests and a snow suit all in the size ds is just about to grow into.

Then she turned round and said "that's fine, I'll do the lot for £15". I said something like oh sorry I thought you were just getting rid of them and she said well if you don't want to pay I'll offer them to someone else. I ended up paying her £10 but it left me feeling really embarrassed and confused.

AIBU to feel upset? It would never cross my mind to charge a neighbour for something I was giving away anyway and I felt really trapped into paying

OP posts:

HecateWhoopass · 20/01/2013 18:21

Actually. Scratch suspect. I KNOW she did

I was going to give them to the charity shop but wondered if you wanted them

How else is that going to be interpreted?

She did indeed stitch you up.

DontmindifIdo · 20/01/2013 18:21

well, on the bright side you know she's a cheeky cow and it only cost you a tenner to find out. Polite but distant from now on!

Original poster

stormforce10 · 20/01/2013 18:21

booyhoo because I'm an idiot of course . Also because I suspect our children will grow up playing together and it wouldn't do for there to be tension between their parents

ah well he's about to grow out of current snow suit so would have had to buy one anyway.

OP posts:

hermioneweasley · 20/01/2013 18:22

She's a cheeky madam, but at £10 that was a worthwhile and relatively cheap lesson to learn.

Nagoo · 20/01/2013 18:24

OP you aren't an idiot, you've got items that you will use, and at a reasonable price. It's just the way the neighbour phrased it made you think she was giving them to you.

Astley · 20/01/2013 18:27

This has happened to me. It was mortifying. I ended up paying exactly what she wanted too, just because I didn't want to make a fuss and have things be awkward in the future

JumpingJackSprat · 20/01/2013 18:30

nobody made you give her the money. you could have said sorry i havent got any cash and left. you allowed it to happen.

pippop1 · 20/01/2013 18:34

And of course will never even do it again.

I expect if she had not charged you, you would have taken her a box of chocs or something over to say thanks?

pictish · 20/01/2013 18:36

You see, I'm not as polite as some of you...or maybe I'm just more skint, but I'd have said 'oh no...you made it sound as though you were giving them to me, not selling them, so thanks but no...I don't want them if I have to pay for them'

Then I'd leave with my nose in the air.

FreePeaceSweet · 20/01/2013 18:39

Yeah you aren't an idiot at all . She should have been upfront. There's nothing wrong with trying to make back some cash. Just don't be a dick about it.
I am very generous with my outgrown stuff or things we no longer have any use for. I gave a friend a wardrobe, book shelf, bread bin for her rice, my old ipod shuffle and numerous amounts of shoes for her kids. She offered me some curtains and bedding which I happily accepted. No mention of money at all. We sat there having a brew and I noticed she was getting tetchy. When I asked her what was up she said "Well, are you going to pay me or what? Forty quid." I was astounded. No money had been mentioned at all. I asked her if we could strike a deal because of everything I'd given her in the past and she said no. So I turned her "generous" offer down. Then she had the cheek to say "I can't afford to just give stuff away like you can". Cheeky bitch. She was the one benefiting. I never did get the curtains and bedding. She didn't get any more of my stuff.

Crazycake · 20/01/2013 18:50

Is your neighbour my sister in law? Kinda thing she'd do

Original poster

stormforce10 · 20/01/2013 18:53

If she'd said she needed to make a bit of cash and wondered if I'd like to do a deal on some baby clothes for DS before she put them on ebay I'd probably have agreed to it and been quite happy.

Ah well lesson learnt. Just wish she'd been up front from the start

OP posts:

wriggletto · 20/01/2013 19:15

You should have said, 'Fair enough - should I give the tenner to Oxfam or The Dogs' Trust? Which charity shop were you giving them to, again?'

mumzy · 20/01/2013 19:45

She might have got a tenner off you but has lost your trust and goodwill. You're probably wary of her now and not keen to do her favours in future. I know what I'd rather have!

VenusRising · 20/01/2013 19:48

Jeepers, I think you did really well for a tenner.
Having said that, she was a bit cheeky.
However, now you never have to speak to her again, and can hide beside the privet hedge and mutter under your breath when she walks past on her way to dupe another neighbour...

Squeakygate · 20/01/2013 19:55

Someone once did a very similar thing tp me. Sent a text round to people saying, does anyone want x -its free as cluttering up my hall.
I replied no but a friend of mine might like it as just had new unexpected addition to the family.
A week later, she handed it over saying, it's £15. I wasnt expecting that at all as she said it was free.
I took it but said, i will return if they cant afford it. I just returned it as i felt i couldnt ask friend for £15 as she might have thought i was on the make from her.
There are lots of cheeky folk about!

lljkk · 20/01/2013 19:56

That is foul.

LittleBearPad · 20/01/2013 19:59

Definitely cheeky.

Shaky · 20/01/2013 20:00

The cheeky cow, YANBU! I would have been mortified into giving her the money too

Bogeyface · 20/01/2013 20:05

If she'd said she needed to make a bit of cash and wondered if I'd like to do a deal on some baby clothes for DS before she put them on ebay I'd probably have agreed to it and been quite happy.

Thats the difference isnt it? If she had been upfront and said she was planning to sell them and did you want first dibs then ok. But to tell you on the one hand that she is giving them away for free to a charity shop and offer you a rummage THEN charge you, is not on.

I dare you to tell her that you got £40 for them on eBay :o

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