Wedding Invites

[Thistledew]

More of a WWYD?

DP and I are getting married this year. I would like to invite some of my colleagues, with whom I have worked for 2 1/2 years. I get on better with some than with others, but have decided to invite all 15 people in my department, as there is no clear line that I can draw between people who are my particular friends and those who are just colleagues (I always take a long time to become firm friends with people. I have some colleagues who I feel and hope that I am in the process of switching from 'friendly colleague' to 'proper friend', but don't feel quite there yet).

We are getting close to our maximum number that we can cater for space-wise, and if I invite the spouses/TLP of all my colleagues as well, and if everyone comes, then some people will have to stand for the ceremony.

I have met the spouses of only two of my colleagues, on one occasion each.

Ideally, I would choose to invite the spouses of the people I am closest too, and not the spouses of those who are just colleagues, but am worrying that this might not be fair.

What would you do?

I wouldn't invite spouses. Only ones you know. I'm sure they can cope without their partners for one day.

IME it is usual to invite work colleagues to the evening do (if you're doing separate evening invites - we didn't, but most do these days) and if you have special friends you can differentiate and invite them all day. So if there are a few people you're close to, you would invite them plus spouse all day and the others evening only (with spouse) - some will decline anyway.

I don't think it's on to invite some with spouse and some not.

We are not having separate evening and day invites so anyone invited will come for the whole thing.

Maybe you could just invite the ones you are close to then - I don't think work colleagues generally expect to be invited all day to a wedding. I don't think you're obliged to invite the whole office, and I personally think it would be ruder to invite some with spouse and others without than just invite your genuine 'friends outside work too' friend/colleagues.

But if you really want to invite everyone, I think you can safely assume that you will get around 10/15% invitees who will decline (overall). I was told this by a wedding venue, that that's the average number, and it seems to have been true for me and most of my friends when they got married. Would that alleviate your numbers problem?

Although I am usually against not inviting spouses, I think in a work situation it's acceptable not to as long as you use the same blanket rule for everyone i.e don't invite one or two husbands and not other people's.

It's kind of a work wedding and if DH was invited to a work wedding I wouldn't expect to go to as I would regard it as work related.

However, are you sure you're not over stretching yourself by inviting 15 people all day when you're not all that close to half of them? Maybe just don't invite any colleagues or just a few that you're close to?

So anyway YANBU if you invite NONE of the partners, YABU, if you just let a few partners come and not others.

If it was me under your circumstances i would invite all colleagues and no spouses (whether i'd met them or not) and then no toes are trodden on, no favoritism is shown and everyone is even-steven when they're back at work remembering your lovely day :)

I would invite the colleagues and not their partners.

tbh I would only invite the ones you are friends with, or better still, none at all.

When we got married we only invited one of H's colleagues who had been a friend long before they worked together. He explained to the others that we simply didnt have the numbers to invite anyone else.

I really wouldnt be spending wedding money on 10 people who I dont really know or are friends with, never mind their spouses!