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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

... to expect money for concert tickets?

22 replies

MaternallyOptimistic · 20/01/2013 03:15

Long time listener first time caller etc.

Last year I managed to get two tickets to Coldplay's Mylo Xyloto Tour. My friend who I was going to take with me was ill and couldn't make it, and I didn't want to waste the other ticket. It was short notice so I invited my neighbour "L" (who I USED to get along with very well) because I knew she was a big fan, and because I didn't want to go on my own, and didn't want to go to the hassle of trying to sell the ticket.

FWIW the concert was great. But a few days later another neighbour across the road told me that she thinks she saw L kissing my then-DH a few weeks before. Now I don't have any proof of this, but in hindsight L always had a certain look in her eyes every time she saw him, and I remember one time he helped her fixed a leak with her kitchen sink, and now am wondering if that's all that happened. My neighbour (the one who told me about the whole thing) is usually very truthful so I believed her. I'm 90% sure they kissed, which is as bad as full on cheating in my book.

Long story short I split up with him (not because of this, for other reasons including other infidelity, but it certainly contributed), and now I'm very frosty with L, as you can imagine. As she's my neighbour I can't really avoid her. But one day we had a big row after I'd had too much. I asked her to pay me the money for the ticket. She couldn't believe it. I told her that if I knew what she and my ex had been doing, then I would never have taken her to the concert, and in a way she sort of accepted the ticket under false pretenses. In a way I partially blame her for the break-up, and I feel she owes me at least the ticket price which, if I had known, I would have given to a friend.

She's flat out refusing, and saying that I'm mad (but crucially not denying that she kissed my ex). But I'm not budging.

AIBU?

OP posts:
StuntGirl · 20/01/2013 03:17

YABU. It was your choice to give her the ticket for free, you can't demand money now.

Sirzy · 20/01/2013 03:21

So you gave her a ticket but not months down the line want paying? Yabu

Montybojangles · 20/01/2013 03:22

Is this a wind up?
If not then YABU. You didn't request payment at the time, you can't change your mind now.

MaternallyOptimistic · 20/01/2013 03:25

But I didn't realise what was really going on until later. The cheek of her to accept the ticket considering what she was doing is what really gets me. I can't believe I went to a concert with this woman who had been kissing my ex.

OP posts:
HowTerriblyEngliscOfMe · 20/01/2013 03:54

Given what she did to you, part of me thinks the very least she could do is repay you for one bloody ticket. I think I would feel like you do if the same happened to me...But if you never expected to be repaid before, you can't suddenly decide that she owes you money now regardless of what she's done.

Your very understandably angry, and feel stabbed in the back but the money for that ticket isn't going to be any sort of consolation... Sad

FergusSingsTheBlues · 20/01/2013 04:42

Show some dignity and forget about the ticket. I certainly would not be begging anybody for money after behaviour like that.

MaternallyOptimistic · 20/01/2013 05:36

But it seems wrong that I should let her off the hook so easily.

OP posts:
DexysMidnightMummers · 20/01/2013 05:44

so you listen to gossip? Do you know for a fact your ex was kissing the neighbour?

YABU

MaternallyOptimistic · 20/01/2013 05:49

It's the type of thing he would do, she hasn't denied it, and my eyewitness is very honest.

OP posts:
SavoyCabbage · 20/01/2013 06:00

Yabu as its either the case that she was kissing your husband, so tickets are a minuscule infringement compared to that, or she wasn't kissing him, in which case you are further insulting her.

GeordieCherry · 20/01/2013 06:04

Would it have been more ok for her to have "kissed your DH" if she'd given you money for the ticket to start off with??

FergusSingsTheBlues · 20/01/2013 06:07

Is her giving you money going to make you feel better?

TheFallenNinja · 20/01/2013 06:09

Seems a bit pointless really. Why waste your time?

JusticeCrab · 20/01/2013 06:20

Don't expect money for the ticket - that's just a side issue which is masking the real fury that this woman most likely kissed your DH behind your back.

I had sort of the reverse situation - an ex dumped me and didn't explain it, and then demanded money back for a keyboard she'd given me, which I handed over no questions asked. I then found out that she'd been cheating on me, and felt really rather disgusted with myself for blindly handing over a hundred quid to someone who'd been basically dishonest.

I would say that the less involvement this woman has with your life, the better. Don't sweat the small stuff and let it slide.

Hatemyheels · 20/01/2013 06:36

Just how well do you know your eyewitness ?, I can't help thinking you are being used in a feud between neighbours.

Icelollycraving · 20/01/2013 06:51

Yabu. You can't invite someone to a concert,then start talking about payment months later.
If she did kiss your ex,that's not great but completely seperate issue.
If she didn't,she must be pretty pissed off. You are making yourself look ridiculous by possibly going after the wrong person.

kalidanger · 20/01/2013 07:06

Choose you battles, OP. it's a terrible situation but your issues isn't really with her. And don't get drunk and row with people! No good ever comes of that. Rise above it all if you can.

ChristmasJubilee · 20/01/2013 07:13

Your neighbour "thinks" she saw L kissing your husband so she tells you about it which contributed to the break up of your marriage.

It sounds from your OP as if your DH was unfaithful with other parties which contributed to the break up of your marriage.

I don't think L is the problem here. She is right. You are mad to expect her to pay for a ticket that was, at the time, freely given.

YABU.

MaternallyOptimistic · 20/01/2013 07:58

Thanks for the replies everyone. I suppose deep down I know I'm probably being unreasonable, but at the same time I just want the b to pay. Grrr. Maybe I'll calm down.

OP posts:
wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 20/01/2013 13:52

let it go . You are the only one using energy on this .

AKissIsNotAContract · 20/01/2013 13:54

YABU for going to see Coldplay.

DontmindifIdo · 20/01/2013 13:59

i think you know you are being childish and unreasonable and giving her the higher ground which is rightfully yours.

Cut her out. do'nt have anything else to do with her. And certainly don't go drinking with her!

Also agree, coldplay? Really?

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