Basically just looking for a bit of perspective, I'm completely stressing out about my DD's father, even though I know it will do no good. I've been feeling so down and crying randomly for about a week and I don't want to be focusing so much on it, but everythings just getting to me way more than it should.
DD is 8 months, and her dad and I haven't been together since early pregnancy. She wasn't planned incase I'm going to get flamed for having a baby with him, and to be honest I didn't realize what he was like until his reaction to the pregnancy and behavior thereafter anyway.
While he had been nasty on occasions, I genuinely believed he would be a good dad for DD. He is on the birth certificate, and I have always allowed contact and stayed on ok terms.
Her dad has never shown any caring feelings towards her, seeing her for the first few days, until the day we registered her, then not seeing her for 2 weeks after she was born or replying to texts so on.
He turned up at my flat late afternoon demanding that I hand her over as he wanted to take her to the pub to meet his friend. I said he could see her at mine instead of taking her out (having not seen him for 2 weeks, having no notice, and her being breastfed so on) and he started shouting and swearing at me that she was as much his and he could have her when he wanted, punching the wall and kicking my door before he left.
Since then the majority of the time I see him he has been calmer, there have been two more "outbursts" but never actually hitting me, just objects. He see's her very sporadically, never replying to texts in between, including when she was admitted to hospital for 2 days. He will never give more notice than a couple of hours before a visit if he does give any, having not seen her for weeks between each one usually, then visiting a few days in a row so on, so i never know when he will be turning up and I constantly feel on edge and like I can't arrange things.
He generally ignores her when he is around, but I don't feel like she would be safe with him and so don't want to just send him off with her. He does things that he must know will stress me out about him having her, like opening the window and holding her outside of it, then laughing and calling me from the kitchen saying "she's looking outside" (My flat is 3 stories up). Putting her on the edge of the sofa where she fell off then calling her stupid, shouting at her regularly (to "shock her out of crying") saying things like "your not a fucking baby stop crying at me".
The thing is, he's not just "weird", he knows its not acceptable behavior, as I have taken her to see him with his friends twice, and he acted like the model dad then, all cooing and cuddling.
I didn't see him for 7 weeks, and thought he'd got bored of it all, then he turned up a week ago with no notice. He said he wants her overnight once she turns one, and that he has been to his solicitor and he has told him that I have to hand her over.
The thing is, I have no evidence that he has done any of these things with DD, bar talking to my health visitor early on about concerns, and keeping a diary of incidences. But I can't imagine this would count for much without any evidence as it's just he said she said really isn't it.
I'm absolutely terrified about what will happen to her when I do have to hand her over, but I know it's not doing any help worrying about it either. Basically looking for someone to convince me she will be ok when he has her 
Am I over worrying. I'm sure theres lots of mums out there who have to leave their children with dads who they aren't confortable them being alone with, should I just hope she's ok once they're alone and leave him to it, or am I being justified to want to be there still.
Sorry for the huge post, it's helped getting it all out.