Sorry it's another sister/wedding aibu - please reassure me I'm not bu!

[ilovechips]

I got married last year, sister didn't attend, sent text at last minute as "too much on", also didn't show to another family event later that year - posted the whole story here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1447557-to-think-my-sister-should-let-me-know-if-shes-coming-to-my-wedding-or-not?pg=1

Anyway, so today out of the blue both myself and my brother have received a wedding invitation for her wedding, which is taking place in 5 weeks. Although she is engaged, she has never mentioned a wedding despite being in fairly regular text contact (yesterday in fact) and this has taken us by surprise.

Am I being unreasonable to think if she really wanted me to attend she could have mentioned the date before sending out an invite? I feel particularly hurt at knowing nothing about a wedding until today. The invitation is very impersonal and just quite tersely demands an RSVP by 12 Feb (ironic given the subject of my previous thread). Neither of my children are mentioned on the invite so assume not invited - my youngest is 7 months, not sure where she thinks i could leave her - also 5 weeks is not much time to arrange time off work - she is 250 miles away and wedding is 11am on a weekday. She doesn't really want us to go does she?

I should add I last went to visit her in November...

"Sorry you won't be there. We'll catch up again"

She earlier said she guessed I wouldn't be able to go if I couldn't take my baby.

I just need to accept we are, for whatever mysterious reason, no longer as close as we were!

Would you not ask her outright what has changed? Seems a shocking attitude! What do your parents say?

Ah, yet again, a bride and groom insist on a child free wedding, even though it means their own siblings can't attend. Lovely.

Chips do not dwell on this; without meaning to sound like a character from Eastenders, she's not worth it. I haven't read your other thread, but just from this one she sounds a bit of a bitch, and I don't say that about somebody's sister lightly.

I assume there is quite a bit of age difference and your sister does not have children?

Our parents are dead, hence why we always were close. she treats my brother the same now so who knows what her issue is. It makes me very sad but it really is her loss I guess...

Done deal if you can't take your DC? If you can't have a decent relationship then try not to beat yourself up about, the wedding invite (and lack of for your DC) tells me that she isn't that bothered about you being there, I can understand if you feel hurt by this, her behaviour regards your wedding was odd at best but spiteful at worst, was there a falling out or perceived slight when you were planning your nuptials? It doesn't really matter, she wasn't there for you so don't worry about missing hers?

Pure - yes you're right there is an age gap, she's 9 years older than me, no children. Our brother 4 years older than her...

I'd just send her a card.

Going by your previous history with her regarding your own nuptials, I'd half expect her to do something a bit flakey but whatever.

Since she has now drawn a line under you attending, by making it plain children aren't invited, looks like she isn't really interested in you being part of their big day. 'Big day', probably fitting it in around market day and farm chores so tbh it may be quite a short affair anyway. Different worlds, different types, sorry if it's hurtful but think you have to just accept she's the way she is and send her and her OH a card.