To genuinely wonder if this is normal childhood behaviour?

[PassMeTheWino]

My son is six years old and is generally good, but still has tantrum occasionally.

The problem is, if he is 'spoilt' in any way, he turns into an absolute PITA.

When he was 4 it got so bad, Id have to go weeks and weeks without taking him for 'days out' other than the park or refrain from buying him any toys/sweets/magazines which were already few and far between, because his behaviour afterward would be demanding, entitled and result in hours of tantrums.

Basically, the more he 'got' the worse he would be.

It still happens now but can sometimes reason with him.

Tonight is an example, he went to his friends house today. They called and said they were having fun and could stay until 4pm, when we picked him up a toy had arrived in the post when he got home (I returned a faulty Christmas present, the toy was the replacement) and his payment to us was to totally and utterly create. Refusing to get in the bath. Refusing to brush his teeth. Refusing to read books. Demanding this, howling about that.

Its black and white, its bed, teeth, books and bed. We arent fannying around, if he kicks off then he can get on with it.

But WHY the fuck does he do this?

His birthday is a few days after Christmas, christmas is dragged on over 4 days so he is utterly spoilt then, I dont think you need me to explain how horrific Christmas can be because of it.

WHY??
It cant be normal can it?!

Passme, I'm so glad you have posted because I feared my son was turning into the devil but at least I am not the only one suffering at the hands of a six year old. I really dislike him at the moment.

Well that sounds positive.

I would stop sweets altogether, stop buying him stuff (no need for more toys now for ages and just get his spring/summer wardrobe all on one day without him there, to get it all over with in one go). Early nights, short bedtime routine and no beggering about

Take the plug out and leave him to it. It doesnt matter how long it takes he will get out when he gets no reaction - even if he has to freeze to prove his point lol.

It sounds to me like he is getting far too much attention from these displays.

Some children run around like crazy, are easily upset, whiney, naughty, contrary when they have had enough and need sleep. I am bad tempered, snappy, can't think straight, argumentative when I am tired.

Holly we planned on missing the bath because we thought he might be tired but he fell in his friends pond. :-/

I'm not laughing about the pond - honest!!!!!!

FWIW my DS1 was a total tantrum queen - I remember in woolies he wanted something and threw himself on the floor and kicked right off.... I hid in the next aisle - I wasnt admitting he was mine- everyone was staring - I think he was 7 or 8 at the time. I could have curled up and died.

OTTmummaA

He counts down time too! Its very annoying!

I think the other thing that comes into play is 'you've been so good do you want to stay longer?' ... Means they behave so well for someone else or for school that when they get home you get all the bad behaviour they have been holding back!

Sounds just like my ds when he's overtired.

In fact, he was like it today after a pretty full-on week. He gets a bit hyperactive, contrary / contradictory and just a bit of a pain tbh. He stopped halfway through the usual performance this afternoon, rubbed his eyes and said 'I'm think I'm tired mummy', took himself to bed and we had to wake him two hours later!

This too shall pass ...

Exactly want I was cringing on the phone when she was saying it. I was thinking nononono! Dont say that! Alas...

You have my empathy. DS (4) is like this. His birthday is in November which means that November and December is one long endless sequence of presents, cards, parties, nights out, chocolate, shopping and going to stay with family and friends where he was endlessly indulged (only child, and only grandchild on one side). Our friends and family are scattered so present giving and celebrations can be really prolonged.

He has only just managed to calm down and stop asking to be taken shopping for toys every day. I have had to tell everyone to stop buying and giving him ANYTHING no matter how small - chocolate, penny sweet, magazine, charity shop 10p toy, coin - because he will kick off.

I don't much advice except: lots of exercise and NO SHOPPING(!). If he is taken out and given a good workout (away from shops & cafes) it really helps. Hopefully it will be 10 months before the merry-go-round comes round again.

Definitely

Overestimated.

All three of mine have this bizarrely my nt child is the worst for it! She gets completely hysterical towards bedtime if anything 'interesying' has happened. When she comes back from friends houses she's rude, aggressive, hyper, screechy, disobedient....

It's a pain as there doesn't seem to be any way to avoid this behaviour or talk her down when she gets like that.

notjust: He stopped halfway through the usual performance this afternoon, rubbed his eyes and said 'I'm think I'm tired mummy'
Ahh! :)

Overestimated? Overstimulated! Fgs, this phone makes me sound like a complete weirdo at times

I have a 6yo DD who pushes everything if there are treats. I just completely avoid now if i'm honest as i can't be dealing with it. Sorry if that's unhelpful but a structured lifejust seems to suit her better.