Getting really concerned about DB and SIL, tbf what SIL is doing, but don't know if I'm being overprotective and should leave them to live their own lives or say something to DB and possibly cause WW3.
I'll be honest and admit that SIL and I have never been close or got on particularly well but I've tried to get on as well with her as possible but it seems like every month or two something else happens that leaves me distrusting her/not liking her more and more and I can't help feeling that she's only bringing my brother down. I don't want to make light of the situation but it's really starting to feel like I'm watching a Jeremy Kyle show every time I see/suspect her doing something else and I'm not sure what to do - want to talk to my DB about my feelings/suspicions but don't know if I should.
In the past there's been incidents where I'm sure she's lied to me, DB, my parents and a few other people but it's never been something that could be proven one way or the other. She's said some horrible things about me to a friend (without knowing at the time they were a friend of mine) then when I challenged her she completely denied it, but I believe my friend. Her own family have nearly completely cut her off because they believe she lied about an incident involving her, which if true even involved lying in court, but again it wasn't something anyone had any proof about. I've also got suspicions about whether or not she really did become pregnant 3 months after me (after behaving very jealously) and then have a mc 2 months later, which I know is a horrible thing to suspect anyone of faking but I feel like I can't trust a word she says anymore, especially as she seemed to use that to 'guilt' my DB into marrying her, which I don't think he would have done otherwise.
The latest 'incident' is that I've got a lot of reason to think she's been having at least 2 affairs behind DB's back. DB works long days and SIL works pt so for 3 days a week SIL is at home on her own. She works in the same place I do, though in a different part of the organisation, and a colleague mentioned hearing some gossip about her sleeping with another colleague after a company night out (which I wasn't at as it was only for that department). Normally I don't pay a lot of attention to gossip but it worried me after how I already see her so I spoke to the colleague concerned and he confirmed it, but I barely know him so I have no idea whether to believe him or not. Then, it's wrong I know, but I asked her sister who still has contact with her about it (as I have her on my FB) and she said SIL has even told her she's had two blokes round (not at the same time) while DB has been at work because DB doesn't sleep with her as much as she wants and she 'gets bored'.
Would like to leave it up to DB to decide what to think of his own wife and what to do but I don't think he knows any of this, he always thinks the best of people and has quite low self-esteem so think he just wants to keep her and buries his head in the sand about what he's like. If I spoke to him about all my suspicions he'd take me seriously but then I'd be the one causing all the upset - don't know what to do.
Feel like there's so much to this that my head is buzzing so sorry if I've missed half the story and end up dripfeeding.