Dogs and Grandchildren

[CurtainsForNow]

I ought to make it clear at the outset that I understand that this is none of my business and I am staying out of it!! Just interested in MN opinions.

Anyway, a friend of mine looks after her 3 year old GC while her parents are at work.

The friend has recently decided to get a rescue dog. I've not met the dog yet, but she describes it as small (jack russell sized) and docile. She thinks it is about 5-6 years old (i.e. not a young boisterous puppy).

Her DiL has totally flipped over the dog and has now said that she won't bring GC to friend's house but that my friend must come to the DiL's house to look after GC.

Friend doesn't want to have to look after her GC in her son and DIL's house as she feels she is doing them a big favour anyway (which she totally doesn't mind doing) but wants to do it in the comfort of her own home.
She has undertaken to keep the dog away from GC as much as possible but can't guarantee they will have no contact at all and would want to e.g. take the dog to the park with them if they go. However son and DiL won't budge and they are now not talking.

Obviously my view is slightly skewed because one person is my friend. So please, oh MN, who is BU? Friend or her DIL?

Tbh, if they are all so close then i am surprised that it wasn't discussed beforehand and the children didn't go to pick the dog, or at least visit it.

The DIL is within her right to want to know if the shelter knew that your friend had children to stay, regulary.

A slow period of introduction would be the best solution.

If your friend was so quick to cut her GC out of her life for a dog that she has just aquired, i would question the relationship between them and if i would want her providing CC, tbh.

I will always have dogs as long as i am capable of their care, but my family know this and my house/garden is equiped to keep the dog seperate from any visiting children. My dog is also well socialised, which may not be the case in a rescue dog.

I certainly wouldn't object to babysitting at a relatives house instead.

The DiL is being unreasonable in demanding your friend go to their house to provide free childcare. Not necessarily unreasonable to not want an unknown dog around the child but it does suggest she doesn't trust your friends judgement. Also,jack russell terriers are not all baby killers.

Also...that's really nice lovelyladuree

I would be seriously unhappy about my pfb being in contact with an unknown dog when I wasn't there, if I were the DIL (I don't like dogs).

Therefore, I would be looking for alternative childcare...

...& probably having heart failure at the prospective monthly bill, & then deciding actually the dog doesn't sound so bad after all...

If MIL could undertake to keep dog & dgc in separate rooms, at least at first, & never leave them alone together, I'd be OK with the trips to the park - presumably one's on a lead & one's in a buggy.

Ultimately, she has every right to get a dog &/or refuse to provide free childcare at any venue, so her DS & DIL just have to take it on the chin & decide where to go from here.

Oh bum. Was hoping this was an update to the DIL's wolf dog on the rug saga.

Your friend has every right to get herself a dog. She also has the right to refuse to look after DGC in son and DIL's house.

Her DS and DIL have every right to not want a dog, especially one who is an unknown quantity, near their DC. They also have every right to pay for childcare if they wish.

Ultimately they have to decide either to put up with the dog or pay for childcare.