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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

contact with non resident parent

14 replies

DizzyHoneyBee · 18/01/2013 16:02

The non-resident (and non-local) parent should have the children this weekend but has been prevented from doing so by the bad weather. The resident parent has plans for an important family celebration next week and they can't be moved to this weekend due to the weather and old age/ill health of one of the family members which means they can't walk to the venue (4 miles away) in the snow. They also have a photographer booked for the celebration.
The non-resident parent is insisting that the plans be moved to this weekend or cancelled.
Who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:
MrsVJDay · 18/01/2013 16:03

Didn't you already post this? Let the NRP insist away!

attheendoftheday · 18/01/2013 16:08

This seems quite familiar, didn't you post about this already?

Obviously you don't need to cancel your plans for next weekend, but I think you've got your ex's back up by deciding he can't have your daughter on his contact weekend because of the weather this weekend. It's really up to him to decide whether he can manage to get there or not.

DizzyHoneyBee · 18/01/2013 16:09

No, not already posted unless somebody else has a similar issue.

OP posts:
DizzyHoneyBee · 18/01/2013 16:10

he decided not to come because of the weather.

OP posts:
DizzyHoneyBee · 18/01/2013 16:12

Ah, just seen
this thread, presumably that is why this seems familiar?

OP posts:
PartTimeModel · 18/01/2013 16:14

so he decided not to come because of the weather, so he wants to have DC next weekend instead, but you already have plans with other family members?

If that is the case the non-res parent IBU. It's unfortunate the weather messed up his plans. It's bad luck. But I don't see why you should have to compensate him at all, and certainly not by messing up your own plans.

fuzzywuzzy · 18/01/2013 16:15

The other thread the RP asked the NRP what he would do if weather was too severe to permit driving, he insisted if he couldnt have the child this wekend being his weekend, then he wanted her next weekend, however the RP has a birthday party arranged for her DD that weekend (being her weekend).

The NRP has had the dd last weekend on the RP's weekend as he had asked.

IMO, if the RP has cancelled his weekend himself you arrange a mutually acceptable alternative date, he does not get to tell you he will have contact on your wekend.
You say, 'that will not be convenient, how about the weekend after that?'

mynewpassion · 18/01/2013 16:20

He chose to not come due to weather. Now, its up to the both of you to choose another weekend to make up for this one.

DizzyHoneyBee · 18/01/2013 16:27

I explained that next weekend was not convenient, he insists that it has to be next weekend. There is no discussion to be had as far as he is concerned, it's his way or no way.

OP posts:
attheendoftheday · 18/01/2013 17:02

Sorry, must be a coincidence!

If the nrp decided not to come due to the weather then he can ask nicely for a mutually acceptable alternative weekend, they don't get to insist on anything!

ivykaty44 · 18/01/2013 17:08

If the NRP cancels the weekend then that is there choice - if it is cancelled due to bad weather that is acceptable - but there is not provision for having alternative time.

This is real life and just say that you child was on a sleep over on one of your weekend - does that mean that the following weekend you have to stop the NRP from having one night as you need to make up your night due to the sleep over?

no

they are children and this is life and he needs to get over himself - tough titty

2rebecca · 18/01/2013 17:21

No, the RP has plans for next weekend, it isn't the resident parent's fault that the weather is bad so the RP shouldn't have to cancel their plans. If the NRP only sees their child every other weekend then I'd try and fit in another weekend they could have so they have 3 in a row a different time.

2rebecca · 18/01/2013 17:22

It isn't his way or no way, you just say no, if he lived nearer there wouldn't be a problem, he'd just put his wellies on and come and collect the child.

pregnantpause · 18/01/2013 20:06

Then its no way isn't it? Grin
Just say no. Don't enter further discussion.

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