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AIBU?

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Original poster

Really need some advice quickly - PLEASE help

17 replies

kitsilano · 17/01/2013 20:44

One of my good friend's children is very, very ill with cancer. He is currently in hospital and I was planning to visit her tomorrow to keep her company.

She has just texted me to say he's been diagnosed with Norovirus. This is obviously very bad news in terms of his health and a cause for concern.

She said she will understand if I dont want to visit but I feel incredibly guilty while at the same time not wanting to catch it and pass it on to my 2 kids.

What should I do?! Please help me decide.

OP posts:
marriedinwhite · 17/01/2013 20:46

The hospital may not allow you to visit if they have been struck down with norovirus.

I think I would say that you have a cold and don't want him to get that as well and make another date for next week. I know it's a white lie but actually, I don't think visitors should be encouraged at this time.

If he takes a turn for the worse and you go down with it in the meantime, you will be not use to your friend if she ends up needing you more.

EmmaBemma · 17/01/2013 20:47

Just make sure you wash your hands thoroughly after leaving the ward he's on. Best method of infection control.

BluelightsAndSirens · 17/01/2013 20:48

Sorry to hear about your friends child Sad I would still go. Very very ill says to me that the child will be in bed sleeping/medicated which means you won't need to have much contact if any with the patient so you can still be there for your friend.

There is obviously still a risk but your friend may well need you.

Veritate · 17/01/2013 20:49

Couldn't you borrow a mask and keep reasonably well away from him? Also make sure that you use the alcohol hand gel that they have all over the place in hospitals.

missorinoco · 17/01/2013 20:51

Tricky.

The question for me would be if I don't go will it be one of those things I look back and regret.

If you do decide to go, don't use the loo and be scrupulous about hand washing.

OpheliasWeepingWillow · 17/01/2013 20:53

I would not go just in case you are coming down with anything yourself you are not aware of? He does not need any more illnesses right now. Can you help in a practical way? Does she need any shopping? Does her family need anything? Nono virus is grim - poor baby Sad

lovethesun1 · 17/01/2013 20:54

I would double check whether you are allowed in,but tbh in this situation I'd prob still go. Follow the usual precautions with handwashing (maybe change clothes after leaving or is that v daft) etc. What an awful situation,I'm so sorry.

PersonalClown · 17/01/2013 21:05

Unlikely the hospital will allow you to visit.
My mum works at our local one and 3 wards were locked down over Christmas with Noro. Immediate family only allowed to visit patients and strict washing rules.

Maybe see if there if any practical help she needs?

BlueGoddess · 17/01/2013 21:05

If they are throwing up and dashing to the loo they're not going to want to be visited are they?

CloudsAndTrees · 17/01/2013 21:09

Our local hospital is trying hard to contain norovirus so isn't allowing visitors to certain wards.

Personally, I wouldn't go, but I don't think you definitely shouldn't go if everyone you live with is fully healthy and the hospital allow it. But if you do, you have to be scrupulous with hygiene.

RuleBritannia · 17/01/2013 21:11

I'm reading this differently. Are you suggesting that you visit your friend at her home and not at the hospital? I would visit her at home but not at the hospital. You have nothing wrong with you so just make sure that you have bathed washed and are clean when you visit her. It's up to her to use the hospital's antibacterial plunge bottles (can't remmebr what they're called).

We all wish her DS well.

featherbag · 17/01/2013 21:13

A word of advice if you do go, and apologies if you already know this - alcohol gel WILL NOT KILL Norovirus, only thorough washing with soap and hot water will get rid of it. What an awful situation, I feel for you.

Original poster
kitsilano · 17/01/2013 21:16

It's in hospital. As far as I know the ward isn't closed to visitors. I have decided to go and be careful. She is living a parent's nightmare. Her need for support is greater than my need to avoid a virus I think.

Thanks for helping me make the decision. I just needed some perspective.

OP posts:
KatyTheCleaningLady · 17/01/2013 21:19

I think if you know ahead of time, you can visit and take precautions. If you wash your hands, don't touch a lot of stuff, and don't touch your eyes/mouth/face until you've washed your hands, you will probably be OK.

I'm glad you're going. It's good to support your friend at a time like this.

xoxo

HeadfirstForHalos · 17/01/2013 21:19

I'm glad you're going, it's the right thing. I know it's an awful way to think but if anything happened to him and you hadn't gone you would regret it.

jjuice · 17/01/2013 21:20

"If he takes a turn for the worse and you go down with it in the meantime, you will be not use to your friend if she ends up needing you more."

this.

hrrumph · 17/01/2013 21:26

For me I'd probably go in and make sure I used the alcohol gel going in and coming out. Also be wary about keeping my hands away from my mouth. Then as soon as I got in the door at home, put my clothes on a hot wash and change into something else.

I worked for many years with infectious patients on hospital wards. I never caught anything following these rules.

If they won't allow non family visitors how about meeting her in the cafe for lunch or something?

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